You are human, sexybabe. You were lonely. You were hurting over your last break up. And this man made you feel pretty and sexy and wanted. He's older AND married so he knows/has learned how to tell a woman what she wants to hear, needs to feel etc.
There is no need to beat yourself up for whats done is done. But becoming a mistress is no way out of lonliness. He may have a good body and be good at sex, but there are about a million other men out there that can check off those 2 boxes and also the box for single and available.
When you look at what you have to gain or lose from this experience should you decide to continue it -- the BEST case scenerio is that he falls in love with you, abandons his wife and children for you... you guys get married and you have worry about him doing the same thing to you that he did to her. Cheating is a character flaw, I am sure you are a very very special girl... but he probably didn't ignore his vows for that reason. He probably ignored them because he's more concerned with his own pleasure than any promises... and thats not someone you want to devote your life to.
The worst that can happen if you continue? You waste years of your life, passing up on men that would love you right and instead sharing a few hours here and there with this married man in hotel rooms. Being left alone on holidays holding on to the promise that he's going to leave when this happens, when that happens... but it never does.
If this was meant to be and true love happening he will talk to his wife, tell her, dissolve the marriage... then persue you.
As for you, if you don't see a future with the man, asking him to leave his wife for you would be terribly unfair both to him and her (although you might well be doing her a favor).
I think the best thing for you to do is put some distance from yourself and this man. Do not allow him to use the power of his words that got you into the motel room in the first place to persuade you that this is whats right for your life.
Spend time with friends and family, with going out and having fun and focusing on what makes you happy, what makes you feel good. Love shouldn't feel guilty. If it does... then its probably not what it is.
There is no need to beat yourself up for whats done is done. But becoming a mistress is no way out of lonliness. He may have a good body and be good at sex, but there are about a million other men out there that can check off those 2 boxes and also the box for single and available.
When you look at what you have to gain or lose from this experience should you decide to continue it -- the BEST case scenerio is that he falls in love with you, abandons his wife and children for you... you guys get married and you have worry about him doing the same thing to you that he did to her. Cheating is a character flaw, I am sure you are a very very special girl... but he probably didn't ignore his vows for that reason. He probably ignored them because he's more concerned with his own pleasure than any promises... and thats not someone you want to devote your life to.
The worst that can happen if you continue? You waste years of your life, passing up on men that would love you right and instead sharing a few hours here and there with this married man in hotel rooms. Being left alone on holidays holding on to the promise that he's going to leave when this happens, when that happens... but it never does.
If this was meant to be and true love happening he will talk to his wife, tell her, dissolve the marriage... then persue you.
As for you, if you don't see a future with the man, asking him to leave his wife for you would be terribly unfair both to him and her (although you might well be doing her a favor).
I think the best thing for you to do is put some distance from yourself and this man. Do not allow him to use the power of his words that got you into the motel room in the first place to persuade you that this is whats right for your life.
Spend time with friends and family, with going out and having fun and focusing on what makes you happy, what makes you feel good. Love shouldn't feel guilty. If it does... then its probably not what it is.
or maybe how he made me feel. i don't know. im sure i did the right thing but a part of me is sad that i "lost" him. i think im infatuated. but while i feel sad, i have peace knowing that i did what i was supposed to do...
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