[StillLearnin]

SexyBabe. You are scaring me/us. Seriously. You don't want to do this. Tell him not to contact you until he is divorced. There are other men in this world that are available that you will be attracted to. You don't want to get involved with a married man.

[grrrr]

Maybe you like the "danger" and now that he's not texting you and you're not getting the affirmation that you need you're just entangling your mind in this totally unhealthy relationship....

Take a few days off and get him out of your system. Find someone else to obsess over, which is making me come off as a total "B" - so I apologize. I don't think that you're an inherently bad person, or someone who is "homewrecker" - but he's somehow gotten into your brain - so you need to release him like a dove, or some other.... thing.

You'll be fine.... just try to get out of the current mindframe...

And, I know that I'll be bashed for this comment... bring it on!! LOL!

[p3375]

[QUOTE=grrrr;183599]

"Take a few days off and get him out of your system. Find someone else to obsess over, which is making me come off as a total "B" - so I apologize. "

Great advice here (well, maybe don't have to go so far as 'obsess' ) But a useful tool. Isn't meeting another guy the best way to get over an old one? Not sayn jump into bed with one, just talk & such

P

[sexybabe]

Yes, he did make me feel sexy and alive. I think that's what I actually miss and not 'him'. So far, he's been quiet the last couple of days. But who knows? He can text me again when he gets horny. But I swear I'm never going out with this guys again. It really takes someone to forget someone, but yeah I know I picked the wrong guy here. I don't miss him that much anymore, and I realized that I can't even recall his face now (I only went out with him twice).

He took my mind off my ex, and for a while there I forgot my pains. I made a mistake because I didn't know how else to channel my emotions. I rebelled and it was wrong. I just hope to meet that person one day who will see that I'm a special girl...

[StillLearnin]

You'll find your man that will see that you are a special girl. He's out there looking for you too.

[JoliAvocat]

I don't understand all of these replies. How would any of you like to be this man's wife? The blame doesn't belong to just one person. It's both of them. She KNEW he was married and had no respect for that-and he violated the marriage. I'm glad the poster vows not to repeat the mistake. That tells me she's taking responsiblity for her part in this. I'd bet this man WILL move on and cheat again. It gets easier and easier when you cheat. The part that is jaw dropping to me is all these consoling pats on the back here. This was wrong for many reasons. Learn from it and move on but do not diminish the error in judgment. I don't believe the poster is diminishing it but all the rest of you are. I congratulate the poster for recognizing what it truly is.

[mamdouhsh1973]

I think it is u r problem not him because women have to control the relation to the right way u cant blame him about u r mistake

[JoliAvocat]

You'll find your man that will see that you are a special girl. He's out there looking for you too.

(edit)

Again, the original poster knows this but it appears all the rest are just out of touch with what actually took place here. Are any of you married and further, would you call someone who cheated with your own spouse SPECIAL?!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Nobody is perfect and if you work on relationships you have something so much more valuable than just onto the next

JoliAvocat, I have taken this quote from another thread you posted on.

You are correct, nobody is perfect.

We make mistakes. We learn from those mistakes..

Again, the original poster knows this but it appears all the rest are just out of touch with what actually took place here. Are any of you married and further, would you call someone who cheated with your own spouse SPECIAL?!

So, you acknowledge that the original poster knows this... but you are attacking the rest of the members/posters on this Forum.

Nobody called anybody "special" re-read. They stated that this Original Poster will find someone special, the poster stated that she hopes to meet someone one day that sees that she is special.

What does that tell you? It tells you that she has low self esteem, that she doesn't think she is worthy, because someone made her feel that way... and, that we are encouraging her, to change her thought pattern. Isn't that what a Forum is all about?

She clearly has stated that she "will not do it again" you acknowledged that.

She has clearly stated she was in pain.. A pain that the ex created, what was that?

She clearly stated she made a mistake and didn't know how to channel her emotions.

Nobody judges anyone on this Forum.. Nor, do they attack and if they do they get banned. We have worked hard, Little and the Moderators of this Forum, to make it what it is today.. I suggest you take a breathe and answer threads you can help people with, not ones that are close to your heart.

So let me ask you this:-

A person makes a mistake, any mistake, do you go off and crucify them for it, belt them over the head, talk and talk until your blue in the face at them, putting them down for it, and "expecting" that they will learn?

?? Would you?

Or do you see it for what it is, a mistake, read the heading " I feel TERRIBLE" reaching out for how to get over what just happened, what she did. Is what the thread is all about. Is it not normal that people will see that?

If you put them down, they will not learn.. They will rebel more.. trust me.

If you read what they write, our members, our posters and acknowledge the first port of call, "I feel TERRIBLE", then don't you guide them? Didn't they do just that?

A thread like this will ALWAYS bring people out with anger, hurt, pain over their own pain, and their own beliefs naturally.

Is anyone married here? Would we accept if they cheated?

No, on the second note, but that's a separate issue a separate thread. Would we be-friend someone like Sexybabe and understand if it was us? No. Off course not.

Would we blame her? Yes. Would we blame the husband? I bet you anything we would justify it was her not him.

This thread was not about, how the wife feels. What comes around goes around.. She will no doubt find out as he will no doubt do it again and I feel for her, and the pain that she will go through.

This thread was about, tears, pain, and regret from the OP.

If you can't see that people are smart and can see that, and therefore, try to ensure she doesn't continue and therefore, post their replies, then maybe you need to start again at the top and re-read. They are not agreeing what she did was right. They are reading her thread and how she feels and what she is asking and replying and in addition, not condemning but not accepting what she did, rather guiding.

Again, this is a Forum to support. Answer people with opinions and everyone has a right to their own.

And nobody has the right to tell the members/posters on this Forum that what they are writing is wrong..

It is not wrong. It is their opinions, my opinions, and the threaders answers to those opinions.

If this touches your inner thoughts of yourself, how you would feel if you were the wife? Then I suggest don't write on this thread or threads like it.. It will bring anger out.

There is nothing wrong with disagreeing with what she did, we all feel that, stated that.

There is a difference, in thinking that people whom choose to ensure she doesn't do it again, doesn't let him win, ( it takes two), you are correct, then that is their right.

We do not judge. Remember that...

Sexybabe..

You've also had posters scared. It seems that as time has gone by your not even remembering his face and are able to move on.

Do it once? Learn from it. Do it again, your not learning.

Yes the wife is a wife. Guys lie through their teeth, to get the prize.

Yes, I feel sorry for the wife, as he tried to even text you after.

Yes, I believe he will do it again and in which case, she has married a cheater.

Yes, I believe that it's your fault to as you were tempted and you acted on that.

I hope you really do mean what you say, that you have learnt.

I meant what I said, everyone makes mistakes. Yes it takes two and you knew what you were doing and that was wrong.

No, no-one has a right to judge you, yes you are special, but what you have done you have to live with and hope it never comes out in the future and I suggest never let it come out, past is past.

If we didn't make mistakes in life we wouldn't learn.. LEARN from it seriously... this is one you never want to repeat.

CW

[StillLearnin]

Joli, read the entire thread. Nobody was encouraging her to do that again, in fact, we were discouraging her from giving in to her temptation to contact that man again.

Get your facts straight before you go off like you did.