[redbull]

But they do. Just spend half an hour to browse our threads. Do all these guys have serious psychological or medical problems? All of them? There are women who do that too. Wouldn't you agree that a man who hasn't masturbated in 4 days would want sex more than someone who has been masturbating 3 times a day, every day? I don't feel the same need if I masturbate daily than when I don't for a whole week and I don't even have testicles.



So, if I man is used to ejaculating only in a certain way by using his hand, because that's what he does every day, that does not affect his ejaculation with his partner in any way at all. It doesn't affect his nerves, or his attitude, it's only because of a serious issue going on in the relationship. Hmmm... I disagree.

First question, what I'm saying is that him masturbating and not having sex with his partner is the effect of another problem. Everyone else is saying that masturbation is causing the man to not have sex with his partner. But what I'm saying is that the masturbation is a product of the problem of not having sex. They masturbate because they can't/don't want to have sex. Maybe it's as simple as the fact that they don't love their partner any more. I don't know what the reason is. But if a man was sexually aroused by his partner, was completely healthy physically, was healthy emotionally (wasn't depressed, or bothered by something else) he would be having sex with his partner because it's just the better deal.

Second question, if he's using his hand every day and not having sex with his partner it's because there's something in that relationship or something with him that is preventing him from having sex with the partner. I don't know how you drew the conclusion that masturbating causes nerve damage (I don't completely understand what you meant by that). As far as his attitude I also don't see why that would affect the man's attitude. You mean his attitude toward his partner? Yes, maybe. But if he had a good attitude toward his partner he probably wouldn't be masturbating instead of having sex. So maybe that's the problem that's keeping him from his relationship.

Please explain the nerve thing though. Almost ever single boy in the world masturbates before he loses his virginity. Then when he has sex he just has sex. And if he's not a virgin but is in a dry spell he'll masturbate for that period of time. Then when he meets someone to have sex with again he'll have sex again.

[redbull]

But they do. Just spend half an hour to browse our threads. Do all these guys have serious psychological or medical problems? All of them?

I know that might seem far fetched to you. But you're being biased. It can seem like all these stories represent the entire population. But they don't. They represent the men who have that problem. So you see this huge collection of men and think "this can't be all of them".


For instance, let's say that you sit at the bottom of a river that is know for a having a huge variety of fish. But for whatever reason only salmon swim to the bottom of the river where you sit. The rest stay upstream. Eventually you would say to yourself "this river is only full of salmon. There are no other fish here." But there are. You just have to go look at the river from a different angle.

[redbull]

That lead to men being much more creative, much more able to orgasm to a variety of stimulus. Thereby not conditioning themselves to only respond to a specific criteria.

Where before it was real uncommon for a man of 25 to not be able to get an erection with his gf, or be able to orgasm during sex... its becoming a more and more widespread issue (the 'porn creep' I was reffering to earlier)

Yes, you're right. It's entirely possible that the men can't get off because they're conditioned to only ejaculate with porn. I'll buy that. I don't believe that is the cause of all the problems, or even most of them. But I can buy that it sometimes happens.

Remember, correlation does not equal causation. Just because you see porn and masturbation present in the problem it does not mean that it is causing the problem.

[Hopeless Dork]

Yes, you're right. It's entirely possible that the men can't get off because they're conditioned to only ejaculate with porn. I'll buy that. I don't believe that is the cause of all the problems, or even most of them. But I can buy that it sometimes happens.

I don't think its the cause in all cases, but I do think it might be worth it for a guy to lay off the porn / masturbation when having this issue to see if it doesn't improve the problem as it would be the least invasive way to recover if it was.

I've read some young guys post here, that they are concerned that they can't orgasm with their partner, or have trouble getting it up...

" I masturbate twice a day and never have any problem "

"Um... do you masturbate twice a day and THEN try to have sex with your partner?"

"yeah? why?!"


I think some guys have masturbation so ingrained in their daily routine like showering and brushign their teeth that they don't see how it can possibly have an effect on their sex life when they obtain one.

For some guys, it doesn't and wouldn't... but for the average guy, orgasming twice in one day is already going for broke...and thats using his exact specific necessary visual stimulus and being touched in the exact way his body responds to...

Going for a 3rd round with a woman that isn't bent over the hood of a car in 7 inch heels and is providing a vagina rather than a death gripped palm... is going to make it harder than it has to be. Is all I am sayin' :P

[stressed]

First question, what I'm saying is that him masturbating and not having sex with his partner is the effect of another problem. Everyone else is saying that masturbation is causing the man to not have sex with his partner.

As HD said, not all men are physically able to ejaculate 5 times a day. They just can't. So, when these men masturbate 3 times a day they cannot have sex afterwards with their partner, no matter how much they may want to mentally and emotionally. They do not connect that masturbating can affect their performance. They do it so frequently that they start wondering if it's a case of age, ED, or something else, but the thought of masturbation being the problem does not cross their mind. Masturbation to them is no less normal than urinating. I'm talking about those men. Not the ones who can masturbate 4 times a day and then have sex twice in a row.

But what I'm saying is that the masturbation is a product of the problem of not having sex. They masturbate because they can't/don't want to have sex. Maybe it's as simple as the fact that they don't love their partner any more. I don't know what the reason is. But if a man was sexually aroused by his partner, was completely healthy physically, was healthy emotionally (wasn't depressed, or bothered by something else) he would be having sex with his partner because it's just the better deal.

Of course there is a reason why those men choose masturbation instead of their partner and one must focus on those reasons instead of masturbation itself. I think it's self-explanatory. But I don't find it absurd that the partners of such men can be against porn, I find it natural. If they don't know the reason behind why their men prefer porn and if their men do not explain why this happens, then they only have porn to blame.

Second question, if he's using his hand every day and not having sex with his partner it's because there's something in that relationship or something with him that is preventing him from having sex with the partner.

There are men physically too tired to have sex, yet they still have a sex drive. So they turn to masturbation (with or without their partners' presence) because it is physically less demanding than sex. By the time those men have the energy to have sex they have already spent many days using only their hand to ejaculate. It doesn't always have to be something hidden behind the lines, some times it's only practical.

I don't know how you drew the conclusion that masturbating causes nerve damage (I don't completely understand what you meant by that). As far as his attitude I also don't see why that would affect the man's attitude.

Please explain the nerve thing though. Almost ever single boy in the world masturbates before he loses his virginity. Then when he has sex he just has sex. And if he's not a virgin but is in a dry spell he'll masturbate for that period of time. Then when he meets someone to have sex with again he'll have sex again

When a man has been masturbating multiple times daily, for years, then there is the possibility that he is used to the stimulation provided by his hand. He may be as rough as not feeling equal pleasure during intercourse, or a woman's hand and mouth, because what he's been doing is nowhere near the feeling that can be provided by another person. This is not something only I say, there are many men who agree with this. Men who have been single for many years and are only accustomed to one specific type of masturbation (either too hard, too fast, too whatever) may find it impossible to be stimulated enough to ejaculate by any other means other than their own hand moves and intercourse only in the position the want. If you add porn to the picture then it can become even more difficult, as those men have connected ejaculation with a certain hand movement and mental stimulation of sexual imagery. Suddenly bringing such a man into a sexually healthy relationship, after many years of following this schedule, is not an easy job.

I know that might seem far fetched to you. But you're being biased. It can seem like all these stories represent the entire population. But they don't. They represent the men who have that problem. So you see this huge collection of men and think "this can't be all of them".

Yes, of course it's only men or women who deal with this who come here, if they had no problem at all they wouldn't be registered. What I'm saying is, out of all those people who have problems and join forums, do you really believe that they all go through some psychological or medical problem? Do you doubt that some times circumstances, lifestyle, ignorance and neglect is what can lead to such problems instead? Those are results of someone's personality and way of thinking, more than a serious psychological problem. Otherwise, there is not a single person on this planet who does not have at least one psychological issue to deal with in his life.

And of course I didn't mean that all men do this, I was saying that there are men who do and gave you the example of the forum. Saying that "all men prefer masturbation to sex" is equally biased as saying "all men want sex". It's one thing to follow a theory and another to practice it in real life.