[doodle89]

Good luck. I said I would see this thread through to the end and leave. So, I will. None of you will ever have to put up with me again. My opinions are way too outnumbered here.
Like I said doodle, good luck with it all. I'm glad I could help.

Oh don't be silly! You really honestly helped me a lot. I actually opened up (had one to many drinks tonight haha) to one of his best friends, my best friend as well.. and he's a male. He basically took every word you said and said it himself. I've come to realize that porn IS a normal thing... I don't want to start the whole normal not normal converstation again but it's there, and it's always going to be there. At the level my boyfriend watches it, YOU and many other people don't see it as a problem. So please don't say "we don't have to put up with you again" because maybe those other women who I was like before will come to realize that it's not the real thing, it's a fantasy world that you boys like to live in

[Hopeless Dork]

Thats a healthy way to take it doodle, as long as you are happy in your relationship and your needs are being met that is what matters most.

Many men look at porn, and only some men develop a problem with it, or become dependent on it and let it interfere with their sex life with their partners. It doesn't sound like your guy falls in to that catagory at all.

So in your case its a matter of confidence in knowing he prefers you above the fake stuff, as long as he is making you feel beautiful and sexy... it shows he has a healthy relationship with both you and has porn in its right box and in its right place (way below you on his priority list).

[redbull]

Good luck. I said I would see this thread through to the end and leave. So, I will. None of you will ever have to put up with me again. My opinions are way too outnumbered here.
Like I said doodle, good luck with it all. I'm glad I could help.

[Hopeless Dork]

Well... you know what they say about opinions

I hope you don't think because people disagree with you that your opinion isn't respected an appreciated. The poster seemed to benefit greatly from your words.

[brownlover]

Just my opinion here... but it seems that mastubating to porn is redbull's norm... he seems -bent and determined to prove that he isn't the abnormal one...

Either way, doesn't matter... all men are different and none of these points can be proven because many men will never admit whether they do or not and of the ones that do, there's no way to prove if their porn viewing interfers with their relationship.... sadly, most do.

[PrettyInPink]

Well this is my first time posting on this site, I actually came on here to read reactions to how other women react to their men watching porn. This is a VERY recent encounter for me and my boyfriend. We've been dating for 2 years now and are both full time students. While cleaning up the spare room where he does his work, I found a porn dvd under the bed. I started freaking out because I immediatly start questioning everything; am I enough anymore, do I not turn him on, does he think of these women while we are having sex, etc. So basically, I'm like any other woman when it comes to their first realization that their boyfriend watches porn. I talked to him about it and let me tell you, i have got an HONEST man because the first thing he said was "yes, that is mine and I'm sorry you found it" but he proceeds to tell me that he watches very sporatically and it is just to get arroused, once he climaxes he is done with it. He said he has absolutly zero connection to it other than, and these are his words "a quick beat", and he looses all interest in it. I just don't understand how he doesn't see it my way when I say it's uncomfortable and I want all the sexual attention on me, but he says that it's nothing I'm doing or not doing that makes him do it. I guess my question for the men is...wouldn't it bug you if your girl was watching some men flail their junk around and get off on it? Anyway, It's when I am already asleep or away, and when he feels the urge and doesn't want to wake me up or disturb me, he just wants to "get it over with" to move on. It in no way comes between our sexual life because if it wern't for the fact that I found it, I wouldn't have ever known. So in a way, I think I am always going to feel a little bit threatnened by it because looks wise, I mean...it's porn, these are some attractive girls, but I guess every man does it in some form or another. He tells me that porn is different because he has no connection to those girls but he loves me and has passion for me. So if my experience at all help the other girls out there dealing with the SAAAMEE issue, take it. I don't like that he is doing it, I don't know one girl that would get on a rooftop and shout to the world her excitement for it, but it's part of their life. He is repectful about it and does it himself when he doesn't want to wake me and doesn't take anything away from our relationship. It could be worse, he could be going to strip clubs watching women AND wasting away our savings, or buying cheap sex...etc. The bottom line I guess I've realized is that him looking at it and getting off has no affect on our passion, love, life, or relationship...cuz he can watch porn and still manage to get solid the minute I walk up and kiss him with a little extra love...then I'm not worried.

Sorry SO long, but this is my expereince and I hope it helps!

[Mr. Inquisitive]

I haven't read every reply so I don't know if this has been brought up. Do you know if there is something specific he is watching (ie. BJ's, asian women, S&M, threesomes etc.)? How open are you in your relationship? Is he a timid partner? The reason I ask is that perhaps there is something he ins interested in but is shy or ashamed to approach it.

[Fae30]

I'm new to the forums.... and not looking to make any enemies here... i did debate on whether or not to comment on this thread. I am not currently in a relationship (had an nasty breakup with an guy who was not honest with me, to the extreme, some months back) and I'm not an expert about relationships, by far! But, I do have an opinion to share with original poster, doddle89, and also with the last debating posts between other members here. :-)

I know that Redbull has helped you much and I am glad! I just want to be the female voice that says that I agree with him also. :-)
Porn doesn't mean that your boyfriend doesn't love or want you, by far. I do know of both men and WOMEN, who have an issue with choosing porn over having real sex with their partners, and it's NOT normal, imho. But, that doesn't sound like your boyfriend's case at all. Porn is very normal for a male. Not every guy is into it, but most are. And I have no issue with anyone that I date viewing it and may even watch it with them, as I don't have an issue with porn at all. I'm pretty in-touch and secure with my own sexuality. Granted, I do have my jealous side about other things, but not when it comes to a guy viewing porn. It's only an issue, if it come in between a relationship, like him turning you down MOST of the time and locking himself in a room and telling you to go away. I knew a couple, where the wife did that to the husband, leaving him wanting! :-o
And it is VERY selfish, imho! And not everyone responds or behave to porn in the same way. Just like alcohol... not everyone who drinks it become an alcoholic... and not everyone who drinks, should be drinking, because they will become an alcoholic. It depends on the person!

I think that your boyfriend lies about it, because he's worried that you won't accept it or will get angry over it. But, I find that guys are more willing to admit it and be truthful about it, if you explain that you enjoy porn too or that you're not against it. Also, if he's spent from doing it, by the time you're ready for him, maybe you can let him know that you rather him have his "fun-time" less when he knows you will be available for him. It would only be a problem, if his reaction is that he rather continue with the porn and to with your needs. But, I doubt he's the type, from what you've described. So, Redbull is right on the money with his argument.

As for whether porn is right, normal, moral, or whatnot... that's a personal call, depending on the person. I don't think it can be put into a black-and-white title and over-generalized... But this is my opinion. ;-)

And now... please don't throw too many rotten tomatoes my way! LOL!

[Joey]

From reading your post i can relate to what your saying.
Although I have settled some of my own 'hate issues' on porn, I use to also be a 'porn hypocrite' so to speak.
Me and my currrent boyfriend live 3ish hours away from each other. we see each other every weekend, but during the week days if i need some me time, i will occasionally turn to porn. Even though I was happy enough to do that, I couldnt stand the thought of my boyfriend turning to porn. Even though i knew that i was being a hypocrite and i would tell myself 'but your using it', nothing would ever seem to sink in. I would feel so hurt that he would be looking at porn...even though i was doing the same. Totally weird I know!

Now, I dont see porn as to much of an issue. I watch it occasionally, and so does my boyfriend. At the moment, the only real porno issue im having at the moment is that my boyfriend occasionally looks at pictures of just 1 women doing sexual things. that too me feels a lot more intermate then watching a sex scene. but that may just be me, and something else i need to just stop being irrational over.

At the end of the day - my boyfriend is amazing to me. I can trust him 1000000%. he would do and does anything and everything for me. I couldnt be more happy with our sex life. he texts me everyday to tell me how much he loves me. He treats me like a princess. So out of all this, I think i can look at porn straight in the face, stick two fingers up at it and tell it that it doesnt have a patch on moi in my relationship

[Hopeless Dork]

No fae, no tomatoes You make very great points. And before I had a problem in my relationship with porn I never cared about it. I enjoyed it too... am crazy open with my sexuality and seeing my boyfriend watched, while it made me feel a little insecure at first glance wasn't something I'd be bothered enough by to bring up... its a guy thing, blah blah let it go.

But when it started to become an issue of porn VS me (with porn leading the scoreboard) on what got his sexual energy, it put a terrible bad taste in my mouth toward it. Once I started getting so much more attention (after he toned down the porn) you'd think I'd be easy going about seeing it pop up again from time to time... but no. All I can do is think of when it ruled the roost and worry about it going back to that again.

Its obvious that you haven't yet (and hopefully won't) encounter such a situation, its the women that have that generally are so concerned about their S.O's porn habits. I wish I could have the same optimistic outlook I use to have toward it, the one you have... but my experiences have clouded that for me and I don't know when I'd feel better about it.