[Fallen1]

Let's be real here though...It would be much much easier for you to find what you're looking for. A woman can take her pick...she doesn't even need to try, to get sexual attention. A man usually has to jump through tons of hoops just to earn a hug.

What ?!!?? Are you serious ??!!??

Sure we can get a man easy .... all we have to do is shake our tail in front of most of them but is that the kind of man we really want? No, I know I don't and I can just about bet you that none of the ladies here do either.

We don't want just sex ... and that is the type of man you are suggesting we can easily get. We want the same things you do - to be loved, adored, held, kissed .......... we want to be made love to not just have sex.

[Rediscovered]

He makes me feel so beautiful, so sexy and so wanted. The minute he walks in the door from work he hunts me down in the house and hugs me and kisses me. When we're out in public he's affectionate and gives me all his attention, the waitress can be hot and eyeing him, and hes nothing but respectful to me.

He takes time every day to notice what I'm wearing, how I did my hair and because of how much he compliments and flatters me it makes it worth my effort to try to wow him on a daily basis because it makes me feel amazing to see the smile on his face when he see's me.

He appreciates all the sexual things I do for him (and I do many) and always lets me know how good I make him feel, always makes me feel like I'm the hottest he has ever had.

He pays attention to my needs, he pleasures me before sex, during sex and if I'm still grinding around after he comes, he'll pleasure me AFTER sex as well. He makes sure when I am in need of satisfaction that he gives it to me and because of that I do the same for him.

I could have written this word-for-word about the man I love.

On the other hand, if you had asked my ex-husband what color my eyes were, after 20 years, he wouldn't have been able to tell you.

I do believe some people are just too self-absorbed to be good lovers/mates. He was one of them.

[TroubledMan]

He makes me feel so beautiful, so sexy and so wanted. The minute he walks in the door from work he hunts me down in the house and hugs me and kisses me. When we're out in public he's affectionate and gives me all his attention, the waitress can be hot and eyeing him, and hes nothing but respectful to me.

He takes time every day to notice what I'm wearing, how I did my hair and because of how much he compliments and flatters me it makes it worth my effort to try to wow him on a daily basis because it makes me feel amazing to see the smile on his face when he see's me.

He appreciates all the sexual things I do for him (and I do many) and always lets me know how good I make him feel, always makes me feel like I'm the hottest he has ever had.

He pays attention to my needs, he pleasures me before sex, during sex and if I'm still grinding around after he comes, he'll pleasure me AFTER sex as well. He makes sure when I am in need of satisfaction that he gives it to me and because of that I do the same for him.

When I come home from work, I try to hug and kiss my wife before I start cooking dinner, which I do every night. She will stand there, reluctant to hug me back or even acknowledge that I'm being affectionate. How does she expect that to make me feel? I've brought that up to her many times, and she has no answers.
I tell her when her hair looks beautiful, but she won't leave it wavey, even though she knows thats how I like it best. She constantly complains that shes fat, and I tell her she isn't and still has her sexy hourglass shape, and gorgeous curves.
A man can only take so much rejection before he stops trying so hard to keep her happy. I want to do as much sexually as I can, but she says she doesn't like me performing oral on her, and only likes a little bit of caressing before sex. Sometimes if I climax before she does, I will try to continue stimulating her until I'm ready to go again, but she stops me, and its over. Where is the motivation for me to try anymore?

[pretzel]

When I come home from work, I try to hug and kiss my wife before I start cooking dinner, which I do every night. She will stand there, reluctant to hug me back or even acknowledge that I'm being affectionate. How does she expect that to make me feel? I've brought that up to her many times, and she has no answers.
I tell her when her hair looks beautiful, but she won't leave it wavey, even though she knows thats how I like it best. She constantly complains that shes fat, and I tell her she isn't and still has her sexy hourglass shape, and gorgeous curves.
A man can only take so much rejection before he stops trying so hard to keep her happy. I want to do as much sexually as I can, but she says she doesn't like me performing oral on her, and only likes a little bit of caressing before sex. Sometimes if I climax before she does, I will try to continue stimulating her until I'm ready to go again, but she stops me, and its over. Where is the motivation for me to try anymore?

I can't speak for your motivation, but mine is the believe that the marriage is still worth it and that I am still a better person being with her than without her. That's my motivation.

Whether or not you realize it you said something that is extremely important in all this. "She constantly complains that shes fat, and I tell her she isn't and still has her sexy hourglass shape, and gorgeous curves." I'll give you my impression based on a few more years experience than you may have. Self image is of great importance. Whether that be looking in the mirror everyday and feeling good about one's self or vice versa. Good, bad or otherwise, that is important to many women.

[Hopeless Dork]

Sometimes if I climax before she does, I will try to continue stimulating her until I'm ready to go again?

Can it ever be just pleasuring her for her pleasures sake and not a means til you're ready to go again? Maybe she doesn't need you to 'go again'... maybe she would like for you just to make her feel good with no other intent but making her feel good... that may be your intention but the way you phrase it makes it sound like you only give her enough stimulation to get YOU ready again... not focused simply on pleasing her...

If she can sense that... it may feel selfish to her. You said you told her you like her hair wavy and she never keeps it that way , one would assume with that statement that you don't like her hair the other way. A woman wants to feel beautiful to you no matter how she wears her hair. If you say yeah, you look nice, why don't you wear your hair wavy i like it better that way... it may seem like a back-handed compliment that is actually a put down.

[WildChild]

Let's be real here though...It would be much much easier for you to find what you're looking for. A woman can take her pick...she doesn't even need to try, to get sexual attention. A man usually has to jump through tons of hoops just to earn a hug.

Hahahahahahahahahahahhaaa

I can't really respond to this level of stereotyping.
If I wanted attention from random undesirable strangers, yes, I could have it. I don't want that. I love this man, we established a strong connection before he pulled back. I know it has nothing to do with me really. He's running a script from his old business. But your attitude will not serve you in resolving your concerns, if in regard to Your situation, or men's situation, you say, " Oh we can't stereotype", but you do so in regard to women expereincing essentially the same treatment, all I can say is Good Luck.

[TroubledMan]

Can it ever be just pleasuring her for her pleasures sake and not a means til you're ready to go again? Maybe she doesn't need you to 'go again'... maybe she would like for you just to make her feel good with no other intent but making her feel good... that may be your intention but the way you phrase it makes it sound like you only give her enough stimulation to get YOU ready again... not focused simply on pleasing her...

If she can sense that... it may feel selfish to her. You said you told her you like her hair wavy and she never keeps it that way , one would assume with that statement that you don't like her hair the other way. A woman wants to feel beautiful to you no matter how she wears her hair. If you say yeah, you look nice, why don't you wear your hair wavy i like it better that way... it may seem like a back-handed compliment that is actually a put down.

She has told me that the only sexual pleasure she gets from me is when we're having sex...she doesn't like when I do anything else. I have her needs in mind, believe me. She tells me that she doesn't have any requests or fantasies though, which is hard to imagine for me because I have many fantasies about her, and things I want to do for her.
As for her hair, basically every person who has seen her hair wavey loves it on her...and she tells me how much she hates straightening it all the time. Am I missing something here?

[Hopeless Dork]

Am I missing something here?

Yes. She makes a choice on how she wants to wear her hair, even if everyone else thinks she look better with it curly, you included... telling her you like her hair better the otherway not only critisizes her appearance but also her taste... which is just as painful to the average woman.

Are there other things about her appearance that you think would look better a different way? Or a different outfit that makes her look better, etc? That you might be hinting to, or overtly stating that may be having an effect on how you feel about her appearance.

I am not saying this to pick you apart or slam you, I am saying this for you do some self reflection and make sure that you are in no way contributing to her low self esteem. You may not even realize you are doing it. Back handed compliments hurt.

Are you really going to wear that? Implies... I don't like how you look in that, a woman hears... I don't like how you look (not just in the outfit) and you have no taste... if you were more fashionable you'd know not to wear it.

I tell my boyfriend... I don't feel like this looks right on me... because I don't feel it looks right on me and he says... you look beautiful in it, and even if I still feel like it doesn't look right in it -- knowing he thinks I look beautiful in it , makes ME feel beautiful in it.

The whole rest of the world can think it doesn't look right on me, including me... as long as he thinks I look sexy, I FEEL sexy.

He's not responsible for MY self confidence, thats something that has to come from me. But the way that he boosts it, the way that he makes me feel so good about myself benefits him as much as me.

[TroubledMan]

I don't say I like it better the other way...When she does leave it wavey, I tell her I think her hair looks really good. When she spends a lot of time on her makeup, I tell her it looks really nice.
So in these cases, you're saying that I should lie. Even if the colors clash, or something doesn't fit right, I should just lie? What is the point in her asking me then? I feel like she only gets dressed up for the benefit of other people, and never just for me.

[Hopeless Dork]

Even if the colors clash, or something doesn't fit right, I should just lie?

See beyond the clashed colors and ill fit to the woman she is, and tell her she is beautiful... if you think she is... then its not a lie.

You have to ask yourself whats more important? Her matching and looking trophy perfect... or her feeling good about herself and reaping the benefits of her confidence?