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  • Natasha123
    Member
    • Oct 2007
    • 15

    Originally posted by rcoreyus
    Ok, I'm expecting to be flamed for this but: If you love someone, wouldn't seeing them enjoy themselves make you happy? Even if their enjoyment came from doing things with someome else (assuming they are not neglecting you).

    I've very aware that this is an unusual way of thinking, but it is the way I think. Perhaps I'm not really human.
    i've never been in love before.

    but i know enough to realize that watching your husband/wife have sex with someone else is not an act of love. you can call it anything you want it but it is defintely not that. what you said actually sounds like something guys say to manipulate their wives/girlfriends into having a threesome.

    I understand what you're saying. It has nothing to do with love. Just fantasy and lust.
    You are only reinforcing what I already stated. it's not love.

    Comment

    • rcoreyus
      Veteran Member
      • Sep 2007
      • 4369

      Originally posted by Natasha123
      i've never been in love before.

      but i know enough to realize that watching your husband/wife have sex with someone else is not an act of love. you can call it anything you want it but it is defintely not that. what you said actually sounds like something guys say to manipulate their wives/girlfriends into having a threesome.



      You are only reinforcing what I already stated. it's not love.
      Maybe you are right, but I dated my future wife on and off for about 6 years, and now we have been married for almost 25. Despite various problems in our marriage, during all that time I have done what I thought was best for her. Since I don't think the way many other people do, it may not be love, but it is something.

      Comment

      • bellababe
        Member
        • Oct 2007
        • 18

        love, lust and sex

        You are grouping all of these things together. Just because you are in love with someone doesn't mean that you can not find a 3some exciting. Just like people don't always have sex with someone they love. I LOVE my husband with every fiber of my being. I also LUST him with all that I have. Those two things are not in and of themselves the same thing. I LOVE my children, my parents, my siblings, nieces and nephews, my best friends. I certainly don't think of them in a lustful way. Maybe I too am not human but love and lust are just not always the same thing. If you are really lucky in life you get to lust the one you love, LOL!!

        Comment

        • Natasha123
          Member
          • Oct 2007
          • 15

          A marriage where the couple engages in a 3some is not desirable to me at all. It just makes you take the marraige less seriously. You might as well be single.

          Comment

          • Fallen1
            Veteran Member
            • Oct 2007
            • 1937

            Originally posted by Natasha123
            A marriage where the couple engages in a 3some is not desirable to me at all. It just makes you take the marriage less seriously. You might as well be single.
            I agree. My thoughts on this are the same as yours - why even get married.

            But, I do understand that there are couples that have no problem with this sort of thing and if they choose to engage in such it is their choice to make.
            There is a method to my madness ........ I just haven't found it yet.

            Comment

            • bellababe
              Member
              • Oct 2007
              • 18

              your opinion

              Originally posted by Natasha123
              A marriage where the couple engages in a 3some is not desirable to me at all. It just makes you take the marraige less seriously. You might as well be single.
              while you are entitled to it, does not make it truth. Whether I agree or not, I would not be so quick to judge someone on taking their marriage less seriously than others because the choose to engage in 3somes. Some people do live alternative lifestyles and while you might not choose to do so, does not make their choice wrong just different.

              Comment

              • SaraSmile
                Member
                • Oct 2007
                • 64

                Originally posted by penny_1
                i have had a 3sum and i dont think i would do it again it was over a year ago now and i still think about that night.i felt good at first but then i just felt left out he was my man and he spent alot of time getting her arroused and she was screming and this made me feel very uncomfortable i also didnt relizes at the time he actually had sexual intercourse with her i havent spoke about that night since it makes me feel very uncomfortable and i wish it never happened and to make things worse she was a very close friend.

                i also understand that every 1 is diffrent and you may enjoy it but i would think first before you rush into anything as i wouldnt want you to be in my position and go through what i've been through
                Were you in the same room? Why didn't you realize he had intercourse with her?

                Comment

                • Goodthings
                  Junior Member
                  • Jan 2009
                  • 1

                  What about the concern of STD when engaging in 3 someone with someone you don't know? Can anyone educate me on this?

                  Comment

                  • Hopeless Dork
                    Veteran Member
                    • Dec 2008
                    • 4255

                    I'm kind of torn on the whole 3 some idea. I have experienced one when single, with my best friend (another girl) and a guy we both liked but were not dating. We were young, no emotions were involved, no one got hurt it was all just expermenting. It was not as good as we both had hoped as the guy was in way over his head

                    As far as having a threeseome while in a relationship I see it 2 ways. On one hand you have the person you love wanting to sleep with someone else. Ouch. Ego-crusher. If you have the slightest tendency towards jealousy or insecurty I could see this move delivering a probable hit to the relationship that way it may not come back from. Most jealous women drive themselves crazy even considering their man pleasuring another woman - to actually see it would be hard to forget.

                    On the otherhand, with relationships ending so often usually to couples getting bored and wanting to experience something new, so they break up and go on to someone else. They then have sex with someone else, but their heart is still with the other person - everyone loses. Having a threesome would be a way for the couple to step out on their relationship in a way... but doing it together .. with each others consent. They can experience the new sex and still have their loved one there after its over.

                    I don't know If I could do it or not, he'd have to make me feel pretty loved and secure both before and immediatly after , that much I do know.
                    Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

                    Comment

                    • Hopeless Dork
                      Veteran Member
                      • Dec 2008
                      • 4255

                      Edit to add, I also find it funny that its usually the men that wan't the threesome and with another woman ,when technically the MMF threesomes seem to make more sense to me. As women don't need the recovery time, stamina etc that males do so you'd think it would just flow more smoothly

                      But I think guys have way harder of a time sharing the one they love with a directly competing penis lol.

                      I don't know I think if someone in the relationship is considering a threesome it might be a good heads-up that the sex needs a little spicing up. He only has one penis and it really only takes one female to please it, if its the variety he needs maybe 'being' another woman would help. Playing dress up, wigs, outfits, roleplaying - something that could give him a spice up without putting your emotions in jeopardy. Shoot even let him call you another name and really get into character haha. Just a thought
                      Scars remind us of where we've been...they don't have to dictate where we're going.

                      Comment

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