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I'm on the exact opposite end of this: my wife likes "breast sex" (although she has another name for it...) and I'm sure it's because of what she did with her ex before they were married, so she could be a "technical virgin" or to avoid pregnancy. At any rate, it's something she apparently developed a liking for, but *I" am the one who doesn't care for it at all - it does nothing for me beyond being mildly pleasurable.This is exactly what my wife, girlfriend at the time, did for me for four years because she didn't want to have intercourse. Vagina sex is much better than breast sex. What you call degrading and disgusting she called it "I'm still a virgin sex." To each her own.
If you plan on being in a long term relationship with your BF you need to be more open minded about things. As you said, prudish. Or he will start looking for other opportunities.
However, relationships being what they are, I do it that way on occasion to please her (rare occasions, because she only has an interest in sex on rare occcasions, but that's another story...).
The key point is, though, if SallyW is uncomfortable doing it and feels degraded by it, she should make this known and not do it! Prudish or not, we all have our thoughts and attitudes that color our experiences, and expecting someone to violate her standards is unreasonable and selfish.
- TRComment
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The OP is probably long gone - I read these post over again and I think I agree that one should keep an open mind with a loved one but also have standards as many have mentioned. The problem I have is the persistent nature of the request they may seem fairly minor, brest sex, not a big deal but to the OP for some reason, it did not appeal, in fact it was a strong negative. If one person finds a request a turn off they should just expect their partner to give it a rest. Especially when the person is adventurous already.
Some respect is due each person in a relationship - it is uncomfortable to think that everything one person comes up with the other is obliged to do. Some consideration should be given but there are too many other things that an imaginative mind can come up with, why get stuck on one thing.
Why destroy a whole relationship because of wrong headed fixed ideas of what each person is supposed to do. I don't think you need blanket policies in a loving relationship - "you got to try everything your partners fancies". Sometimes you say no just to maintain a sense of autonomy and self ownership. That's human nature, no matter how much you care about someone, each person is also autonomous. It's healthy, if a person stays, when they are free to go at any time, that is love.
I think an open attitude is everything, meaning you agree to consider but if unappealing then think of something else that excites both people. Getting stuck on absolutes gets into the problem the OP is having - he won't take no for an answer, he thinks she should want to try everything.Comment
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