[ItsASecret]

There is a subject of respect though. If she sincerely believes this is a degrading act and she will not do it then he should just leave it alone at least until a time when she may be the one to bring it up again. There is already open communication going on regarding several other sexual acts that plenty of other people consider degrading and she is willing to explore them. The respect thing is big, if someone says please stop this then stop. I do not think "someone else does it" is a good enough reason to go along with an act that one feels is degrading. Boohoo if someone else does it, you are not someone else...you are you and no one should be changing that.

[KDia03]

I don't really have anything to say that all of the others haven't covered in length, but I wanted to tell you my own personal experience involving breast play. However, it seems my boyfriend is a lot different when it comes to his attitude about "suggesting things" that he would like then your boyfriend is. My boyfriend asks very humbly, kindly, and is very keen to give me pleasure during sex in every other instance- so I'm very encouraging towards him to actively mention things that he might enjoy! Mine ended up asking for the same thing one day, because I was on my period.. and looking for creative solutions to the problem of his being horny, and my wanting to please him. Of course, there are always blowjobs... but why not mix it up a bit? He asked if he could have a 'boobjob', and I hesitated for only a moment (probably because I have had plastic surgery done on my breasts due to a birth defect, and was uncertain if the thrusting would irritate my scars or not- which he was understanding of) but soon agreed.

IT WAS THE MOST HILARIOUS EXPERIENCE.

We tried it a few ways before I finally laid on my back, pressing my breasts together. He sat down on me (facing me) without all of his weight, and moved his manhood between them. He said that it was an interesting experience unlike PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex, because the sensation is kind of directed on the tip of his penis, rather then it's entirety. Not sure if it is like that for all men, but this is what my boyfriend said to me. As for me, I felt nothing pleasurable, yet nothing painful either- no surprise there. But the look on his face... the slightly awkward look, the odd, unusual angle at which I was seeing him for the first time, and the ultimate pleasure that he felt... made it worth it! Of course, due to the positioning- when he came, he came hard. All over my breasts, on my face, my glasses, on the bedframe, and even managed to get himself in the eye. As soon as gasped, covering his eye, I couldn't help, but burst out laughing hysterically. He laughed a bit too- mostly in disbelief. I was still laughing even as he helped clean me up. It was just so horribly awkward... the whole thing! And then- it ended like that, also horribly awkward! It was just too priceless. I'm so glad I let him do it! It was amazingly hilarious! And he got to experience something he was curious about. No harm, no foul, right?

My scars were irritated a bit afterwards, but nothing so bad (he was sorry for this). And even though he couldn't return a sexual favor, he gave me a glorious back massage in return.

[Hopeless Dork]

And even though he couldn't return a sexual favor, he gave me a glorious back massage in return.

To me, thats what its all about I would never suggest going above and beyond and doing things you aren't crazy about for a jerk boyfriend...but for your love, that special someone that means the world to you and treats you like you know you deserve. Thats the difference.

I think in a great relationship thats based in mutual respect and making each other happy... 1. You won't get asked twice to do something you've already said no to. And 2. He'd only need to ask you one, or you him once... to try something that isn't harmful to the relationship or each others physical/emotional health and the other would sign right up and be thrilled at the chance of putting a smile on their partners face.


If I asked my boyfriend to try something and he said no, I wouldn't ask him again. I know if he asked me to try something and I said no, he wouldn't ask me again. Because he knows how much I love to make him happy, and I know how much he loves ot make me happy... so if a 'no' were involved, I know both of us would assume a good reason was involved.

But I'm different I guess, I don't see anything dirty or porno or degrading that is being shared between two people that love and respect each other so much. I get a thrill out of arousing my boyfriend and I know he gets a thrill out of giving me pleasure.

So maybe my view is slanted. I couldn't imagine being so giving to a man that wasn't also... and maybe the experiences of some women are giving and not getting back and that would certainly turn me off giving too. But in a situation where you have an awesome partner... even if its something you think is silly like the above poster, something awkward that makes you laugh more than become excited... I don't see the harm.

[rcoreyus]

I think it is OK to ask more than once - assuming you space out the requests by a long time (months). People sometimes change their minds, or might be in a different mood - and might have forgotten that you asked for something in the past. It isn't OK to continuously ask for something your partner doesn't want to do.

[Allie602]

I'm afraid I have a rather different opinion from Allie602. I think the best sort of relationship is where each person tries to go along with all of their partner's desires and whims. I don't think it should lead to degrading acts, but rather to the couple continuously discovering new fun things to do.

Of course there are some people so want to degrade their partners, and I think that is a serious problem in the relationship whether the partner gives in or not.

Ok let me give you a hypothetical sit. "I have been married for 7 yrs very good relationship, except i am very hurt because my hubby will mot let me satisfy a fantasy i have had - have him do oral sex with a false ps and bend over a chair while I put another such object in his bum simulating sex. I am really turned on by this for a long time - he refuses says he feels that it not him and he feels like not a man. I look up web sites and show him it is enjoyed by many men and I wanted him to try it just once. He still refused saying he did not care what other people did... I let it go for a few days but mention it again that I don't feel he loves me because he does anal on me and I give him bj and I can't the desire to do this out of my head. Can't sleep feeling depressed resentful, I have been very good to him and I cannot see how he could deny me this when he knows how much it means to me. He did mention that someone might think he is not a man but I know him I am his wife. Please I am so unhappy how can I get him to do this."
Based on your whim relationship model how do you advise that this woman's whim be met?

[Fallen1]

Please be mindful of how you respond to other members. Everyone has a right to their opinion and the right to voice it here.

If this thread gets out of hand it will be closed.

[Allie602]

Sorry for offending please disregard my post it was in bad taste besides being offensive.

Problem is now I will never know if men who advocate satisfying every sexual whim and request meant it universally or just for women. If I were not so angry and sensitive, I might have been able to frame a post that would have elicited responses and not affronted anyone, sorry.

[rcoreyus]

Hi Allie602, don't worry, I don't offend easily and I actually think it is a valid scenario. One person has a fantasy that they would really like to try and the other doesn't think much of the idea.

In the case you lay out the woman has been doing all sorts of things that he likes, has been open to his fantasies. I think he should give her fantasy a try. Now if he is really bothered by it then he doesn't need to, but it doesn't seem unreasonable. I'd do it if were something my wife really wanted to try - and assuming that she was open to doing things for me.

If he tries it and doesn't like it - then he shouldn't feel he needs to do it again. OTOH he might like it. Like many things that are shown in porn, it is something that a significant number of men do enjoy (if they allow themselves to try).

I'm very open to sexual experimentation - I think its the best way to find things that couple enjoy. Often people find they like things they thought they wouldn't, or just as often find that their fantasy of many years isn't actually much fun in reality.

[Casey715]

A guys view.

Try this, get on your knees like for a BJ and cup your breast together and slide his manhood between your breast. This way you are in full controll and if you don't like it, stop. This way you can say you gave it a shot and he should be ok with this. This is just an idea from a guy. For me, it was fun. It was done during a week where we had no sexual penetration, just everything else. She is in control and has fun teasing me. We have been married for near 10 years now and a little change up here and there is a good thing in a relationship. I do however agree with the point that you should not be made to do anything you do not wish to do. Hope it all works out for you.

[Allie602]

Try this, get on your knees like for a BJ and cup your breast together and slide his manhood between your breast. This way you are in full controll and if you don't like it, stop. This way you can say you gave it a shot and he should be ok with this. This is just an idea from a guy. For me, it was fun. It was done during a week where we had no sexual penetration, just everything else. She is in control and has fun teasing me. We have been married for near 10 years now and a little change up here and there is a good thing in a relationship. I do however agree with the point that you should not be made to do anything you do not wish to do. Hope it all works out for you.

Sounds really hot, would you be satisfied doing this instead of a bj or do you find you still long for bj?