cocoa- thank you, yes we do all the other ways to enjoy ourselves.
Thom- I still live with my mother so i feel compelled to live under her rules, or if i did it my way she would treat me badly (my younger sister already slept with someone and my mother cracked down hard on her, grounded her and called her a dirty every day amoung other things, i want to avoid this)
rcoreyus- yeah i decided to try before i buy!
CharlesV- we do have a great intimacy established already.
so here is the update. I weighed the pro's and con's. I decided that i would sleep with him ONCE to see if there is any major complications, and we would work on the rest.
I had sex with him this morning, it was NOT PLANNED! It kinda just happened, we were snuggling and i just felt very "whatever" and did it, kinda numb. DEFINITELY not in a loving way, just in a "get it over and done with" way- which i hate but that the time i did not realize, it was as if i was possessed...
Anyway, unfortunately it REALLY hurt, secondly after that i didn't feel that it was inside me-but it was...So we played around with positions and i found one both he and I loved, so we stuck to that. We tried 7 different positions. I was being really stupid and laughing uncontrollably at the start. It was almost scarey...or a high?
After that he came and we tried for round 2 but he was sore from all the "foreplay" and couldn't get it hard enough, then he did but i wasn't wet enough, and etc for the next 30 minuted till we gave up and my mother called me to come home (controlling protective much!).
I think I'm satisfied that we can work on things, because for a first time to feel that enjoyable i was impressed, so, i feel completely at ease and instead of being hesitant of marriage now, i'm looking forward to it. I know we work physically (no major hand ups) so I'm very willing to wait again until marriage, or at least till i move out.
Though sometimes his bend pushed uncomfortably in me and it made me wince a bit, i could just get used to that i think though.
thank you everyone for your opinion. I would have waited EASILY if he wasn't out of the "average" range (Bottom 2% thin and a bend). i've decided i will practice kegel exercises and stick to what positions work. He said only positive things.
The only thing i regret was my frame of mind and i should have made it romantic instead of being manically laughing while cracking stupid jokes as he penetrated me for the first time, i think i did that to stop crying. I haven't cried but this is a big thing...so i'll probably have a break down in the next few days.
I'm terrified i'm pregnant even though we used condoms. That's enough to scare me off it for a while! (poor bf he said it was the best he's ever had!)
Thanks again!
xx
Thom- I still live with my mother so i feel compelled to live under her rules, or if i did it my way she would treat me badly (my younger sister already slept with someone and my mother cracked down hard on her, grounded her and called her a dirty every day amoung other things, i want to avoid this)
rcoreyus- yeah i decided to try before i buy!
CharlesV- we do have a great intimacy established already.
so here is the update. I weighed the pro's and con's. I decided that i would sleep with him ONCE to see if there is any major complications, and we would work on the rest.
I had sex with him this morning, it was NOT PLANNED! It kinda just happened, we were snuggling and i just felt very "whatever" and did it, kinda numb. DEFINITELY not in a loving way, just in a "get it over and done with" way- which i hate but that the time i did not realize, it was as if i was possessed...
Anyway, unfortunately it REALLY hurt, secondly after that i didn't feel that it was inside me-but it was...So we played around with positions and i found one both he and I loved, so we stuck to that. We tried 7 different positions. I was being really stupid and laughing uncontrollably at the start. It was almost scarey...or a high?
After that he came and we tried for round 2 but he was sore from all the "foreplay" and couldn't get it hard enough, then he did but i wasn't wet enough, and etc for the next 30 minuted till we gave up and my mother called me to come home (controlling protective much!).
I think I'm satisfied that we can work on things, because for a first time to feel that enjoyable i was impressed, so, i feel completely at ease and instead of being hesitant of marriage now, i'm looking forward to it. I know we work physically (no major hand ups) so I'm very willing to wait again until marriage, or at least till i move out.
Though sometimes his bend pushed uncomfortably in me and it made me wince a bit, i could just get used to that i think though.thank you everyone for your opinion. I would have waited EASILY if he wasn't out of the "average" range (Bottom 2% thin and a bend). i've decided i will practice kegel exercises and stick to what positions work. He said only positive things.
The only thing i regret was my frame of mind and i should have made it romantic instead of being manically laughing while cracking stupid jokes as he penetrated me for the first time, i think i did that to stop crying. I haven't cried but this is a big thing...so i'll probably have a break down in the next few days.
I'm terrified i'm pregnant even though we used condoms. That's enough to scare me off it for a while!
(poor bf he said it was the best he's ever had!)Thanks again!
xx
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