Unfortunately, the last few years my wife and I have averaged sex once every three months, before that about twice a month for many years. We've been married 20 years, and any time I mention that I'd like to have more sex, that I need more, she tells me to stop counting and putting a number on it. However, about every two years I get through to her, and she agrees increasing intimacy (of any kind) would be good for our relationship, but things simply never change. She even came up with an idea a few years ago to write it down, and asked me to hold her accountable, but nothing changed.
I tend to her needs, to a fault, and she has multiple orgasms, but the planets need to be aligned for her. I need to take her to an expensive dinner, her weight has to be ideal, she can't be tired, the laundry has to be done, the grass cut, the kids have to be out of the house, the dog has to be feed and walked, the phone can't ring, etc.
If I touched her in a loving way outside of the bedroom, she would elbow me as hard as she could, and yell at me for grouping her, even if I walked up behind her, put my arms around her waist, and gently kissed her neck. Well, as you might have figured out, I haven't tried that in many, many years.
We never talk during sex either. She simply refuses to give any verbal feedback, won't make eye contact, and gets mad if I ask her if something feels good.
We never kiss during sex either. When I try to kiss her, she will say in an agitated voice: "Do you think this is a make out session?"
For the first 10 years of our marriage, she wouldn't let me give her oral sex, nor would she give me oral sex. Despite having tried many times to talk about sex outside of the bedroom, she would bring the conversation to an abrupt end. However, one night just before having sex I told her that I wanted to give her oral, and if she honestly didn't like it, then I'd never ask again. She reluctantly agreed expecting to end this once and for all; however, 10 years later, we never have sex without me giving her oral. However, she almost never gives me oral (read once every few years) and when she does it is with total lack of enthusiasm, and for no more than 1-2 minutes, and never once to orgasm.
Her nipples were off limits for many more years. However, a few years ago, something changed, and now I have to simultaneously finger her anus and vagina, lick her clitoris and rub her nipples, until she has multiple orgasms, regardless of if it takes two minutes or twenty. If she doesn't orgasm, it is my fault, and she gets very frustrated. Sometimes that ends it before we have intercourse. When we do have intercourse, she absolutely refuses to go more than 10 minutes, and if I am not already hard, then end of session too.
After years of rejection, I stopped trying to initiate sex years ago, and occasionally turn her down because the resentment is tough to overcome.
I'm am obviously a very patient man, or at least I was until now, but I am loosing my mind, and thinking of leaving, but don't want to hurt the kids. What should I do? Is there any hope? Are we too far gone?
I tend to her needs, to a fault, and she has multiple orgasms, but the planets need to be aligned for her. I need to take her to an expensive dinner, her weight has to be ideal, she can't be tired, the laundry has to be done, the grass cut, the kids have to be out of the house, the dog has to be feed and walked, the phone can't ring, etc.
If I touched her in a loving way outside of the bedroom, she would elbow me as hard as she could, and yell at me for grouping her, even if I walked up behind her, put my arms around her waist, and gently kissed her neck. Well, as you might have figured out, I haven't tried that in many, many years.
We never talk during sex either. She simply refuses to give any verbal feedback, won't make eye contact, and gets mad if I ask her if something feels good.
We never kiss during sex either. When I try to kiss her, she will say in an agitated voice: "Do you think this is a make out session?"
For the first 10 years of our marriage, she wouldn't let me give her oral sex, nor would she give me oral sex. Despite having tried many times to talk about sex outside of the bedroom, she would bring the conversation to an abrupt end. However, one night just before having sex I told her that I wanted to give her oral, and if she honestly didn't like it, then I'd never ask again. She reluctantly agreed expecting to end this once and for all; however, 10 years later, we never have sex without me giving her oral. However, she almost never gives me oral (read once every few years) and when she does it is with total lack of enthusiasm, and for no more than 1-2 minutes, and never once to orgasm.
Her nipples were off limits for many more years. However, a few years ago, something changed, and now I have to simultaneously finger her anus and vagina, lick her clitoris and rub her nipples, until she has multiple orgasms, regardless of if it takes two minutes or twenty. If she doesn't orgasm, it is my fault, and she gets very frustrated. Sometimes that ends it before we have intercourse. When we do have intercourse, she absolutely refuses to go more than 10 minutes, and if I am not already hard, then end of session too.
After years of rejection, I stopped trying to initiate sex years ago, and occasionally turn her down because the resentment is tough to overcome.
I'm am obviously a very patient man, or at least I was until now, but I am loosing my mind, and thinking of leaving, but don't want to hurt the kids. What should I do? Is there any hope? Are we too far gone?
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