[lonestar]

Just keep your woman's feelings in mind. Respect that we think a little differently- it will hurt our self esteem and we will not instigate sex if we keep getting rejected. I was actually in the same boat. Dont' accuse her of being insecure or stupid or whatever- respect that this is the way she feels and try to understand it. Communication is key.

[renegate]

Allie602

I ll review my sexual life of last 5 years with the hope that it will help me make things better.
Things started normally, and the very first time i made out i wanted her to do things for me as well in addition to me pleasuring her. It was not something wild, some pretty simple things like asking her to kiss my nipples etc. Though she did it, she told me that very night that she dint like it a bit and it actually did not feel right for her. She added saying that she felt like having sex with a woman when she made out with me.

Please note that this was the first time i had sex in my life and i was anxious and i was under the assumption that i should everything possible to make her like me sexually. However hearing the first time from the my very first sexual partner shook my confidence a lot and i started creating a mental barrier in my head. After that every time we had sex, it was like a test for me and i was always worried about what she would consider normal and what she may find weird etc and this made things unpleasant for me.

She could have handled this in a different way by choosing her words right and not being so hurtful when she said that. I definitely would not have continued to do those things. But the first time made her conclude that all is lost and even if i change after that and try not to take pleasure it would still be because she asked me to and not because i din want it. She thought that her having to tell me what she likes and dislikes in sex ruined the magic of it forever.

She may be right as a woman, but as a guy i found it not practical and it annoyed me. Thats how things started to go bad sexually between us. We did make out once in a while and she even started giving me a bj. I absolutely loved to give cunnilingus to her because i love that act but she never seemed to allow me to do it, except once. I feel very disappointed because i love it a lot. She says she finds it uncomfortable because she is conscious that she may be dirty down there (though she is definitely not) and she would never let me do that.

After that sex got boring between us because she started thinking it was not worth it with me because the magic is gone and i started feeling annoyed because of her thinking and also because she wouldnt let me do things for her. We would try penetration at times but she would say its too painful.

Also i had a fantasy of some mild BDSM and bondage ever since i was a teen. just a fantasy. It was not an obsession or anything. i really didnt want to incorporate it to our sex life. Infact i didnt even discuss about my fantasies to her becasue i knew that she would just work on opinions and start thinking i am weird.

This is how things have been so far and i also explained the imp problem i had wit the way she thinks. Hope this helps you to answer me.Thanks