[rcoreyus]

Hm, tough one. You don't want sex to be bargaining "I'll give you a BJ but only if you go down on me first until I orgasm. I'll only finish the job it you also give me a massage". To me that's not how it should work. Each partner should be doing the things they know the other likes.

If one person doesn't want to do what their partner wants (and it is a reasonable request), then they are being selfish.

Maybe you need to find someone with a higher sex drive than you, so they will do whatever you ask. (Its so sad to see so many sexually mismatched couples).

[themeximini]

Is it just that he doesn't like doing it or is it really about how long it takes?? Did he do it a lot at the beginning of the relationship? I once dated a guy like that and honestly all I can say is there really isn't much you can do to get him to go down on you more if cutting him off doesn't work. He sounds selfish to me! I think you should have a real talk about what you each expect out of your sex life. Sorry to hear your man is a selfish jerk!

[shweedart]

He says 'I cant be bothered to do it cos you take too long'...nice of him I know! But if I ask for it I dont enjoy it cos I know he's doing it begrudgingly! He even looks bored doing it.

We're so good together which annoys me!

[shweedart]

I dont even care if I orgasm, yes it'd be nice to dedicate some time to me but even just for foreplay I'd be over the moon! He expects it to be over in seconds!

[kristalyn_04]

I don't get why anyone would want it to be over in seconds. What is the point of sex if you're not going to savor it and enjoy it?

[themeximini]

He says 'I cant be bothered to do it cos you take too long'...nice of him I know! But if I ask for it I dont enjoy it cos I know he's doing it begrudgingly! He even looks bored doing it.

We're so good together which annoys me!

What about other foreplay?? Is it just oral or does he rush through everything else? If it was just oral I would say if oral is something you are willing to live without then just talk it out with him and let him know you are fine to go without as long as he is as well. If he rushes through everything else he is just plain selfish. I would let him know how important foreplay is to you.

Right after my daughter was born I had little interest in sex. My therapist recommended as a solution that my husband and I set a kitchen timer for 20 minutes and just spend the time kissing and touching each night. It sounds horribly unromantic, but it worked out well for us. I got the foreplay I wanted and my husband got the sex he wanted, because 20 minutes was more than enough to put me in the mood. Maybe something like that might work for you guys. Most guys I know are very goal-oriented, so make it like a game.

[Tiptopshape]

He says 'I cant be bothered to do it cos you take too long'...nice of him I know! But if I ask for it I dont enjoy it cos I know he's doing it begrudgingly! He even looks bored doing it.

We're so good together which annoys me!

In my opinion, he shouldn't complain since giving bj is not enjoyable when a partner does not do it back with the same enthusiasm back. If he wants you to do that favor, he should be able to give back the pleasure you're giving him...
Ask him nicely about it...communication is important if you want your relationship to last.

[shweedart]

Rushes through everything :/
I think what bugs me more is that I'd happily spend hours giving him head because he enjoys it, he enjoys it, I enjoy it.

I'll talk to him tonight, see where I get! If he doesn't listen I'll just kick him in the nuts and buy a vibrator!

[Anon_1990]

Hmm, I havent had any sexual contact since my ex, who broke up with me in March, been in a relationship since June, no intimacy. He should think himself lucky.

[Rediscovered]

It sounds to me like this behavior shows a lot about his personality and what type person he is (selfish). Believe it or not, there are wonderful, non-selfish, caring men out there in the world with whom you would also get along famously~~might want to give some of them a shot before you commit yourself to a lifetime of unmet needs...the resentment only gets worse as the years go on...