[ez456]

From my perspective,

My guess as to your course of action is to do what your therapist says and get out not only for your sake, but for you kids sake. However you must remember and understand that even if she threatens you with a nasty divorce (which she will) you will have sufficient ammo to counter those claims.

Not to be deliberately negative (I agree he should also find someone more deserving), but I wouldn't be so sure he has sufficient ammo. Unfortunately, women have the upper hand from the start with divorce cases even when they're in the wrong so it may be best he consults a family lawyer on his stance beforehand. No divorce/custody case will ever be easy for a man unless there is huge proof against the woman. Hopefully statements from the therapists would be enough?

[lizzardb63]

personally, maybe she should have her vagina sewed shut for a while...then maybe she would appreciate what she's got! okay okay, that was mean, but what if every guy she knew treated her that way? Like dirt, she may look twice at what she has.

[pretzel]

Not to be deliberately negative (I agree he should also find someone more deserving), but I wouldn't be so sure he has sufficient ammo. Unfortunately, women have the upper hand from the start with divorce cases even when they're in the wrong so it may be best he consults a family lawyer on his stance beforehand. No divorce/custody case will ever be easy for a man unless there is huge proof against the woman. Hopefully statements from the therapists would be enough?

This is a subject for another day and another thread, but with the rise of no-fault and changes in community property laws, the playing field has leveled a bit.

Again, another topic for another day.

[sourpuss]

Have you had an STD screen lately? Might be a good idea.

[shweedart]

As far as I'm aware, I may be wrong, don't think I am though. The G-spot area is about 2 inches in...So you don't need a massive one to please a woman. There've been numerous threads started about men with size issues...and to be honest I think the problems with your wife and not you.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

OP, the last thing you need is more negativity.

Thank you for clarifying, your "real", understand though that troll posters come here often with a long drawn out story that just can't be real...

In that, it's not the mental capacity of our member's rather, surely this can't be real? Well, obviously it is, and that's heartbreaking that your trying to state you've been in this situation for 22 years? If I am reading this correctly?

Can we ask how old your child is? And, if this has affected you, the cursing, anger, emotional torments, do you think that your child also may have coped alot of this as well?

Are you concerned of custody or is your child a young adult now....

Amo, I agree with, witnesses, proof, maybe the neighbour will step up as well, if called...

You do need to go somewhere where, she will not know where you are, people like that when things get nasty, can stalk or worse..

I assume your working, maybe you need to find a new position, somewhere else, so she is not aware of where you work, so that when you do move she can't find you... let the Lawyers handle it all...

She's blackmailing you to a degree, using emotional abuse to scare the carp out of you, if you were ever to do that, I assume she doesn't work and you pay the bills, I imagine she doesn't want to have to carry finances on her own... She's safe, yet she can do what she wants and there's nothing you can do about it.

Yet there is.... and your following the right path, by doing it...

Your heading, verses your last post, .. It seems that your confused yourself, as the last post basically states it doesn't matter about your size now, it's more of venting and wanting to know what to do...

Whilst she's made you feel degraded, down and out, small, and it's your fault she's cheated, you know full well that's not the case at all, she has found something to use, in order to do what she wants, simple...

If she's 44, then your around that age as well.. Plenty of women out there that are searching for love, a soul, a person who is a keeper...

Time to live some of your life, instead of living it for someone else to take all

CW

[at a loss]

first off let me say sorry that you've had to go thru this.

That said, the sad thing about all of this is you've let this crazy woman make you doubt yourself. This isn't about penis size my friend. I'm also here to tell you that all of this that's going on between you and this crazy woman isn't about you or her.

You said you have a ten yr old child. Your focus right now shouldn't be on your penis size or her cheating on you or any of her verbal abuse. Rather your focus should be the welfare of your child. I would go see a lawyer and plan a course of action to ensure that you have custody of your child after you dump this woman from .

I'm not a lawyer, but I would think it would be wise to start documenting all the crazy things that this lady does. I would think it might be wise to start recording her, and to have all of the horrible things she's done to you on record. Get her drunk, and than let her ramble on about ALL of the men she's been with, ALL the times she's cheated on you, ALL the degrading comments about you, and on and on.

I would think having all of this on tape, and your lawyer bringing in people she's cheated with (she's crazy and yes there will be a custody trial for your child thus it will go to court) that any judge sitting over this case would not only give you custody of your child but would also require this woman to get psychiatric help before she could even spend time with your child.

Another thing. It's time to stop whining and complaining and wondering whether or not what to do here. If what you say is truly the truth, if you really are in the dark on what to do here, than let me tell you you're as crazy as she is. Sorry to be so blunt with you my friend. Do you really need someone on here to tell you what to do here?

Be a freakin' MAN and stand up to this lady. Do it for your child as the most important thing I see here is not how this plays out for you or her, but rather if this all continues how messed up of a child you're going to have and than ultimately how messed up of an adult this child will become.

Take action, and take action NOW!!!!!!!!! What's more important your penis size or the welfare of your child? If you can't answer this and answer it quickly than whatever state you live in needs to step in and yank this child away from two crazy parents.

Go see an attorney. Plan a course of action. You're going to have to get this crazy woman on tape. You'll need all the proof you can get. I would hire a private investigator to get pictures of her with other men. Get her phone records, etc. This will all take time and you're going to have to play it cool and NOT tip this crazy woman off to what you're planning on doing. Does she check your phone? Don't let her see ANY evidence as to what you're planning on doing.

You mentioned financial problems. Do you have someone you could go to that might be able to help you with all of this financially? Parents or sibs? You'll need to pay for all of this with cash so this crazy woman doesn't see credit card statements or bank statements from checks written.

Do you understand?

Start listening to that voice inside of you that's trying to guide you. if you're a Christian it's the voice of the Holy Spirit trying to guide you. This woman is evil and from what you've described NO therapy is going to help her. If there was a rattlesnake in your home would you just let it roam around the house and not do anything? Of course not. EVERYTHING in your life would stop until the ratttlesnake was found and removed from your home.

That's what's going on here, but rather the rattlesnake is your wife!

Sorry to be so harsh here my friend, but it's one thing if everything you described was just between you and your wife. When there's innocent kids in the middle of this, I'm sorry it ****es me off when the so-called "grown ups" are oblivious as to what they're doing to their kids. You have a long journey in front of you. You need to get this child into an environment where it's safe and away from this psycho woman.

I'll leave you with this. I know you're scared to take action here, but trust me, you have the strength and the courage to do what needs to be done here. The crazy stuff that you've been putting up with has now manifested itself into being "normal" in your mind. Trust me it's NOT!!!!

Ask God to help you do what needs to be done here. I wish you and your son ALL the best. Step out of the jail you've been living in and move towards a life of happiness. You and your son deserve it.

God bless!

[shortcomings]

first off let me say sorry that you've had to go thru this.

That said, the sad thing about all of this is you've let this crazy woman make you doubt yourself. This isn't about penis size my friend. I'm also here to tell you that all of this that's going on between you and this crazy woman isn't about you or her.

You said you have a ten yr old child. Your focus right now shouldn't be on your penis size or her cheating on you or any of her verbal abuse. Rather your focus should be the welfare of your child. I would go see a lawyer and plan a course of action to ensure that you have custody of your child after you dump this woman from .

I'm not a lawyer, but I would think it would be wise to start documenting all the crazy things that this lady does. I would think it might be wise to start recording her, and to have all of the horrible things she's done to you on record. Get her drunk, and than let her ramble on about ALL of the men she's been with, ALL the times she's cheated on you, ALL the degrading comments about you, and on and on.

Already have. I've got word documents and cell phone PDFs stored in a safe location that is updated several times a week. I have on paper her confession about the men with her signature. This is not exactly hard evidence, but it's close. I'm just waiting fer her to slip so I can seriously bust her.

I would think having all of this on tape, and your lawyer bringing in people she's cheated with (she's crazy and yes there will be a custody trial for your child thus it will go to court) that any judge sitting over this case would not only give you custody of your child but would also require this woman to get psychiatric help before she could even spend time with your child.

Another thing. It's time to stop whining and complaining and wondering whether or not what to do here. If what you say is truly the truth, if you really are in the dark on what to do here, than let me tell you you're as crazy as she is. Sorry to be so blunt with you my friend. Do you really need someone on here to tell you what to do here?

I'm aware of what needs to be done. What's holding me back is ripping my child's life apart.

Be a freakin' MAN and stand up to this lady. Do it for your child as the most important thing I see here is not how this plays out for you or her, but rather if this all continues how messed up of a child you're going to have and than ultimately how messed up of an adult this child will become.

I did act like a MAN and stood up to her. She called the police and I would up in jail for partner assault, even though I never touched her. My son has seen counselors and he's doing good. He's aware of the fact that adults are not always right and when they mess up, they have consequences.

Take action, and take action NOW!!!!!!!!! What's more important your penis size or the welfare of your child? If you can't answer this and answer it quickly than whatever state you live in needs to step in and yank this child away from two crazy parents.

That statement was almost offensive, but I get the point. Of course the child is the most important factor here. As I stated above, I'm waiting for the least-painful moment for him, whatever that is.

Go see an attorney. Plan a course of action. You're going to have to get this crazy woman on tape. You'll need all the proof you can get. I would hire a private investigator to get pictures of her with other men. Get her phone records, etc. This will all take time and you're going to have to play it cool and NOT tip this crazy woman off to what you're planning on doing. Does she check your phone? Don't let her see ANY evidence as to what you're planning on doing.

She's computer illiterate, and I started deleting my phone history. Everything is locked down with passwords and documents are locked up in an oak filing cabinet.

You mentioned financial problems. Do you have someone you could go to that might be able to help you with all of this financially? Parents or sibs? You'll need to pay for all of this with cash so this crazy woman doesn't see credit card statements or bank statements from checks written.

No relatives with resources that live here, and I refuse to move away for the sake of my boy. I work for myself and cash my checks and keep the records locked up. I have no credit cards due to choice.

Do you understand?

Start listening to that voice inside of you that's trying to guide you. if you're a Christian it's the voice of the Holy Spirit trying to guide you. This woman is evil and from what you've described NO therapy is going to help her. If there was a rattlesnake in your home would you just let it roam around the house and not do anything? Of course not. EVERYTHING in your life would stop until the ratttlesnake was found and removed from your home.

The Holy Ghost, or Still, Small Voice does indeed give me hints. It's my job to listen carefully and to have faith. As I said before, it's scary because she's unpredictably crazy when her control is taken away from her, and that's exactly what's going to happen.

That's what's going on here, but rather the rattlesnake is your wife!

Sorry to be so harsh here my friend, but it's one thing if everything you described was just between you and your wife. When there's innocent kids in the middle of this, I'm sorry it ****es me off when the so-called "grown ups" are oblivious as to what they're doing to their kids. You have a long journey in front of you. You need to get this child into an environment where it's safe and away from this psycho woman.

My goal is to get away from her and provide a safe haven for him. I'm not perfect, but I see the writing on the wall.

I'll leave you with this. I know you're scared to take action here, but trust me, you have the strength and the courage to do what needs to be done here. The crazy stuff that you've been putting up with has now manifested itself into being "normal" in your mind. Trust me it's NOT!!!!

Ask God to help you do what needs to be done here. I wish you and your son ALL the best. Step out of the jail you've been living in and move towards a life of happiness. You and your son deserve it.

My son and I attend church every Sunday and are active with other church functions. This whole situation is simple to remedy, just not easy. I've tried to "endure to the end" with this marriage, but it's getting worse. She's miserable and is not happy until everyone around her is miserable, IMO.

God bless!

Thank you for your honest comments. There are certain steps that need to be taken which I am working on - setting everything up so when the bomb falls, my son and I will be safe. I have voice recorders, video, and data recorders set up, so it's just a matter of time until I either catch her in the act or gain evidence that she is being adulterous beyond any reasonable doubt. My plan is to confront her with it while having her sister by my side. Her sister is a straight shooter who understands how my wife is and said she would get my back - she has in the past so I trust her. Like I said before, I'm posting here as a sounding board and also to document the goings-on in case anyone wishes to see it. I truly believe that I deserve better and know for a fact that there are honest, loving, real women out there who would be overjoyed to have someone like me in their lives. I feel I've wasted 22 years living how I don't want to live and it's about time I start living the next 22 years (or more, hopefully) happily fulfilled with someone who truly appreciates and loves me and my son.

[shweedart]

I'm not sure if I'm right in saying this...let me know if i've crossed the line.

Unlike a lot of my generation, I take marriage very seriously. Obviously I'm unnaware of the vows you took on your wedding day but she obviously doesn't respect them. In my eyes she doesn't deserve the title or privelidge of being a wife or your wife for that matter.


Sorry, it just really annoys me. My bf's dad has just left his wife for another woman that he's been seeing for a while and the thought has crossed my mind a lot. If we were ever to get married I wouldn't want his dad to be there. If he can't respect his own marriage then he has no place at mine.



Again, as I said. I take it very seriously and it makes me sad I apologise.

[oncebitten]

This is not a healthy relationship, and no matter how hard getting out might be, you must get out!!! When your own wife makes you question your self worth, that is the time to leave. I really do hope you pick up the courage to leave this horrible place in your life, and for now don't even try and think about the "after" just focus on getting through the now.

Good luck good luck!