[latitasea]

ive been trying my best to avoid being on top for the most part of my three year relationship, now its impossible to ignore and i want to absolutly cry with even the thought of it, i cannot even imagin me being on top, everything out with nothing to do! im terrified but willing to do any and everything becasue we have such a healthy enjoible relationship otherwise, Also i really want to be good in bed...PLEASE HELP anyone with advice or ideas i feel like im the last girl to get on top and the only one who cannot do it!

[ItsASecret]

ive been trying my best to avoid being on top for the most part of my three year relationship, now its impossible to ignore and i want to absolutly cry with even the thought of it, i cannot even imagin me being on top, everything out with nothing to do! im terrified but willing to do any and everything becasue we have such a healthy enjoible relationship otherwise, Also i really want to be good in bed...PLEASE HELP anyone with advice or ideas i feel like im the last girl to get on top and the only one who cannot do it!

Try leaning forward while you are on top, it is the only way I can do it. I dislike being on top as well but my bf loves it. I am not a showy look at me type of girl so being out in the open fully exposed makes me almost break into anxiety. But the more I do it the more comfortable I get. I will not be able to be on top bending backwards spread the legs and flash the penis in vag scene type of girl while I am up there but I can at least stay on top now. What worked for me is to not actually have sex and turn it into a look at my fully exposed body routine. I had to ease into it by getting on top, putting him in and just having us talk with me in that position. There was no pressure for me to start like that, and if I felt some anxiety coming on I would just lean forward and kiss him. I still stay leaned forward but occasionaly I can sit up straight for him to look at me a bit.

[Colorado]

WARNING: Mans point of view :0)

I've always said that if nothing else, I'm honest with my opinions... #1; you state "i cannot even imagin me being on top, everything out with nothing to do!" - that tells me that you are not confortable in your own skin - also tells me that you may not trust him, because if you did you would feel comfortable doing anything with him (not that you should ever do anything you dont want to), trusting that you will not be judged by him. Just be there in the moment for each other, and have fun - let it all hang out so to speak. I would imagine, and this is just a guess; that you are probably one who doesn't have sex or make love with the light on either correct? - Harsh tough love here, but you have to get over it and start being comfortable with yourself. You deserve it! let go of the inhibitions and just experience the pleasure...

I'll caveat that with this, if we love you, we dont care if you have a scar, we dont care if you have a pouch... we care that you are enjoying yourself... getting up there no matter what the issue is and just ridding, or wiggling, or whatever you do that pleases you - pleases us! Confidence, even in the case of low experience is everything - say , I may not know what I'm doing but dang, I'm gonna have a hellofa lot of fun figuring it out along the way is what you should be thinking - stop worrying about why you are shamed at being on top " with everything out" and just let her rip. The rest will come naturally and you'll enjoy everything that much more.

[Texasred]

If at first you're worried about how you'll look to him, don't be. Have you heard the term "rose-colored glasses?"
Well, those are nothing compared to the "glasses" that a man sees his woman through when she's on top of him!
And if you're REALLY worried, just turn out the lights the first time or two you do it - or if it's daylight, close your eyes!
LOL!
But I can guarantee you that your man will want the lights on.
Guaranteed.

[WildChild]

You weren't perfect at riding a bike first time you tried or the second time, it takes practice. The first time you ride a motorcycle you have to get a feel for it, same thing with riding a horse, you have to learn to move with it. At least with a man you aren't likely to fall off and skin your knees.

Tell him you've never done this before. Just try it out, see what feels good. In some positions you can get a lot of clitoral stimulation and in other posistions more Gspot. Take it as a fun experiment. You do have quite a bit of control there. You can rock back and forth, or side to side. You can sit up straight, lean forward supporting yourself with your arms, lean back, or even lay forward on him. See how it all feels? It's nice that he can be free to tease your nipples or use his hands in other ways.

It's not my absolute favorite posistion but it can be very effective, I was on top and built up an orgamic wave a few days back and rode it for more than 10 mins. 10 mins of rising and falling levels of orgasmic intensity is a little different than a shorter more immediately intense orgasm that you might be used to but its pretty darned good. Got my teeth tingling.

Get some laughter into your sex.

[maverick]

Another variation on the "leaning forward" technique is laying down. Just start out in the usual cowgirl position and after insertion lean forward until you are laying down on him. The two of you working together provide the required motion. This leaves you less "exposed" and is almost like missionary. Upside down, of course! As for traditional cowgirl, you certainly need not worry about how you look riding cowgirl. I assure you that your SO will enjoy the view. So you should just focus on your mutual pleasure and enjoy the ride!

[Educate me]

Another man's perspective.

I also like my wife being on top, and for years she would hesitate to do it. As Colorado mentioned above, it came down to her not comfortable in "her own skin". It took communication on my part to find out the problem and correct it. Once she realized that I didn't care about the issues she raised she was able to relax and just enjoy the ride. If this is an area that you are struggling with I suggest you speak to your s/o and let him help you. We love to look at you while your on top.

[Bellalla]

Total devil's advocate here.

I'm a veeeeeeeery comfortable in my own skin woman, and I HATE being on top. I hate it.

Granted, the reason I hate it is because I have a knee injury and my knee kills after awhile, but it's still just not a position I love and I've always been ill-at-ease with men who love it. I will do it now and then, but not all that often.

Now, I've never been one to let a little (or a lot) of pain get in the way of a great position. That said, I still don't love being on top because I just don't feel that I can ever get the kind of leverage that my husband can get when he's in the thrust position. We have very...um...thrusty sex, so it's very rare that I'll be in the mood for the more perfunctory in-and-out of me on top sex.

As I said, every once in awhile it's nice and he totally gets off on the view (yes, no woman should ever feel self conscious during sex with a man she trusts), but it's certainly not a favourite of ours.

Anyway, I just wanted to weigh in with a slightly different take on things, since I spent many years feeling self conscious about my lack of love for being on top.

[Colorado]

Total devil's advocate here.

I'm a veeeeeeeery comfortable in my own skin woman, and I HATE being on top. I hate it.

Granted, the reason I hate it is because I have a knee injury and my knee kills after awhile, but it's still just not a position I love and I've always been ill-at-ease with men who love it. I will do it now and then, but not all that often.

Now, I've never been one to let a little (or a lot) of pain get in the way of a great position. That said, I still don't love being on top because I just don't feel that I can ever get the kind of leverage that my husband can get when he's in the thrust position. We have very...um...thrusty sex, so it's very rare that I'll be in the mood for the more perfunctory in-and-out of me on top sex.

As I said, every once in awhile it's nice and he totally gets off on the view (yes, no woman should ever feel self conscious during sex with a man she trusts), but it's certainly not a favourite of ours.

Anyway, I just wanted to weigh in with a slightly different take on things, since I spent many years feeling self conscious about my lack of love for being on top.

Great point Bellalla, and very undertandable - I was not taking into consideration that type of issue and of course a medical condition would have to be considered in any situation/position. If you have just broken your back, you certainly wouldn't want to be doing certain things that would cause excruciating pain or the chance of reinjuring yourself.

However, medical issues aside, in an average situation - I stand behind my comments above 100%.

[Sweet Lady]

Tips?!?

Being on top is cool as you control the rythmn and depth. You can ride him like a horse and ready get clitorical stimulation andhe can stimulate your breasts with his mouth or your clit with his hands.
Shweetdart has it spot on wireasts touch your man slightly! it can do wonders for both of you...!