[WildChild]

Sex ia good and healthy activity. Provided you have a healthy attitude toward it. However if you are in a committed relationship and have agreed to be monogamous then you need to stick to your agreement, otherwise you need to get out or renegotiate. What is or isn't acceptable is between partners and no one else's business. You have to be honest with everyone concerned.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So your worried about your "future" girlfriend who hasn't come along yet, as you feel that at this stage, all you will be devulging is that you've had bj's from prostitutes, but not sexual intercourse and your thinking of having an affair with your German flat mate, whilst your in Germany and your leaving there or she's leaving there in a month's time?

Is that the picture?

Get it out of your mind that the woman for you, the one that will spend the rest of her life with you, will despise you if you have had bj's or sexual intercourse, because the woman for you, will love you for who you are not, what sexual encounters you have had...

When you said affair, having read your other thread, your not talking about an affair with a married person, nor are you married, your talking about a "fling" which is totally different...

So, I would prefer that you fell for someone like your room mate and spend a month with her, it didn't work out for what ever reason than you telling me that you had bj's from 20 prostitutes over your life...

If I was in love with you, I would understand as you would explain your reasons behind it.... and we would be on the same page or else we wouldn't have love for each other.

On a side note, I think that you shouldn't over annalyse things to the degree that you do, oposites do attrack, it's the core values that have to be united between two people...

CW

[sallywi2003]

Cheating is cheating it is wrong.

[_redhot_]

To address your question......they would both bother me equally...

[Hmmm Really?]

I've been with my wife over a decade never cheating. That comes from nothing but respect for her and her feelings. As guys, it's just f**king, but you know it means more to your woman, so why hurt her over a girl who's name you won't remember? You're better off leaving a girl who you could've taken to a hotel and going home to treat the girl you're with like you would've treated the prostitute or side girl. Especially when you'd treat them differently because of their disposition.

Human females adapt and can turn into that girl you almost went home with or almost paid for a BJ if you have enough backbone to control the situation and turn them into what you want down to telling them to put on a wig and outfit to make them not resemble themselves. , You're better off going home to degrade the woman you normally respect by treating her like some 1 night stand you just met and getting her off in the process that going home with the actual one night stand. And if you don't confess to what drove you to treat her like a hoe/side chick the night before, she thinks it was directly due to her, which is what you should want her to think. Then she embraces her inner hoe and you look outside your relationship less.

[Hmmm Really?]

(edit profanity) I'd do nothing to hurt my wife emotionally or mentally, so therefore we have a bond I could have no where else not because I wouldn't for myself(if I was selfish), but because I think of her before anything I do. Hope that makes sense.

Men are not emotionally attached to physical acts such as sex, our self control comes from our attachment to the woman we're with beyond such things.

It's the equivalent to a girl having to tell a secret to her best friend first(not to sound shallow). If you tell some girl you don't really like in the workplace/social scene before your best friend, you feel the same way we feel from sex with someone, but if you really care about your friend, you'd never go to anyone before her 1st out of respect for your friend.

[Hopeless Dork]

So which would I prefer? I'd prefer my man came to me and said you know what... I'm no longer satisfied being with only you sexually, I am going to likely be seeing someone else, short term, long term.. I don't know yet. And giving me the opportunity to walk out the door and never see him again, or to decide to stay and see other people myself... but respecting me enough to not decide for me that its okay for him to see prositutes or long term mistresses while I sit home waiting for him faithfully.

As a side note, certain diseases can still be spread through oral sex, so hopefully you didn't mention bj instead of sex from a prostitute because you see it as somehow less risky, for some diseases it is... not for all. Also hopefully you didn't mention bj instead of sex because you think its some how less of on offence ... its not. A lot of people see oral just as, if not more, intimately than intercourse.