[rcoreyus]

Beautiful Disaster - you may be right, or it may be someone who feels unable to control their addiction and is making excuses for themselves and for us. Very difficult to tell. Addictions are strange things - it can be almost as if the addict is being controlled by some demon that drives them to do things they don't want to do.

Hopeless Dork - you also may be right. Prostitution is legal in Germany so I had thought there might not be so many women coerced into doing it, but I have also heard that some eastern Europeans are in that situation. Economic slavery (of any kind) is always a very difficult problem - the "slave" is in principal free to leave, but doesn't really have the option. Of course if we take away their abusive job, its not clear if their situation improves. I really don't know the solution to this situation.

I have no objections to prostitution where the women have consciously chosen that career. I suspect this is the case for most high priced call girls, but for street walkers it is much more difficult to tell. I have never used a prostitute and don't plan to, but maybe it is possible to tell from their behavior before you hire their services? The prostitution in Germany "looks" legit - in Reeperbahn in Hamburg the prostitutes line up next to the police station, but of course if they are economic slaves, the presence of police doesn't help.

I think women should have complete rights over their own bodies - including the right to sell them.

[Guest]

Bob, if you want to have sex with a prostitute then do it !!! But take steps to make sure you come out of it clean. If you have a girlfriend in the future then hopefully you will have a good sex life with her. You won't need prostitutes then. My guess is that you have some subconscious thought that it is very wrong to have sex with a consentual partner that you pay. As long as they are doing it willingly, and you are paying her and not hurting her then get on with it

[Guest]

And recoreyus, everybody, male and female should have sole rights to their own bodies.

[JustHormonious]

I do not think the OP really wants our help. I think he wants to type about his latest hunts, the details of them, almost like a diary....except he wants people to read them..etc.......

BD - IMO You are 100% correct! He needs his thoughts and behaviors to offer a shock value, for us the reader...in return he gets the response needed at the time of posting... I found it very interesting that he did not respond to Chandlers post. I wonder why?

He has a total disrespect for all women. If it's titled an addiction, he can continue posting and get responses.

[WildChild]

The thing is that Mr Smith has a dedication to a belief system that runs contrary to his biology and basic nature. That is bound to create confusion and frustration. This is a fundamental of most religion, to create guilt and a control mechanism using something that vitually undeniable in most people- sex. If he had married at a young age, he would have an outlet. Having stayed single it's made a mess.

Bob, you make your choices but understand that women can't read your mind. They see an attractive, articulate man who seems interested but sends mixed messages. I don't know what solution to offer you that would allow you to keep your religious restrictions, be single and not be climbing the walls. You obviously want connection, loving and sexual release. You can't get that and be celibate. Not by any means that I am aware of. Your idea that in a few years you will find a woman that you are less attracted to makes no sense at all. Why not start looking for a woman who is your match? One that you are very attracted to, physically, emotionally and intelectually? Understand though that you must be able to respect her and honor who she is and not see her as a tool for sexual release or as inferior to you. She may be different but is not inferior.

Setting goals can be a good thing. Setting unobtainable ones is not. You may need to rethink what you are working toward and find a way to create a loving partnership with a woman as part of them.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Seeker, if you read Bob's other threads, you will note that he has been celebant for 10 years, by way of intercourse, the Prostitutes, he has engaged, are for oral...He's never denied having some way of a release, just wanted / wants to wait for the right woman...

I found it very interesting that he did not respond to Chandlers post. I wonder why?

It's not important to respond, if Bob can read and something makes sense, that's all good by me But, the hatred of women, does not mean he is trolling, or trying to gain attention... It can be as someone else posted here, on page 3, (can't multi quote for some reason ) that a woman hurt him immensley in the past in any fashion...

I believe that Bob is here, to vent, not necessarily listen deeply but quitely.

my mom is also rather pro-porn and thinks it's not a problem, though she doesn't know about the prostitutes part. but she thinks prostitution should be legal.

Bob, it sounds like your Mother is understanding... But, I gage there is a fear of telling her about the prostitutes... I am not sure, but possibly she knows what you are trying to achieve, that being the waiting for intercourse now, until married and I wonder, if this is being done for her?

You know, my ex-husband, was 31 before he had intercourse full stop, to his first wife.. But then once he was married, he owned her, tried to own her, put her down, told her to loose weight, which in return made her feel in-secure, and consequently she got fatter, he emotionally bought her down.. Off course I established this later.. They lasted 18 months. He was good looking and he had women come onto him, older than him mainly, but he also was quite dorky in his teens and had a passion of cars, and missed the boat with women, girlfriends, etc. His belief was that it was sex, all they wanted was sex.. and he wasn't giving it to them, he wanted love but when he had it? He didn't know how to...

Then at 36, he re-married me.. I recall him looking at magazines, with Paris Hilton or anyone on the front cover, he would call them a name, as he viewed it and walked past.

To his "female" friends often, they were partners of his long term school friends, he was charming.. To them, he was a catch, nice guy, to his mates same thing. Behind closed doors , he attempted to do the same to me, not about weight, I'm not fat, rather my Career, pulling me down, or trying to suggesting I will never make it. I did.. He would buy dogs, then not want them and give them away... He would only be interested in his motor bikes, toy cars, and cars... His car for instance had to live in the garage, mine on the street.. He owned everything, every room.. I off course after spending 7 and a half years, trying to make him see love is a good thing, gave up and left...

What is my point? His Father mis treated him and his brother physically, then committed suicide.... having de-frauded the Government and ending up in jaol for a small period, there were rumors on that.... His Mother consequently went grey over night, and obtained Cancer, and for 10 years battled it, him and his brother would carry her to the bathroom.. His Grandmother was controlling, all though we got on well, she would "own them" or try to... She bought her daughter her house, which they lived in for instance and made that known... She would turn up when she wanted to and just open the bedroom door, she made my ex-husband feel he was nothing.... Yet, his brother, was someone....

My ex, hated women, possibly due to his grandma, but he wanted love.

You don't really like women, they are there to be used.. But, you want to be loved.. And, you believe if you find her, you will be happy..

But if you have a dis-respect for women in general, do you think that you may have issues, in a marriage? Will you at 36 (as you say a couple of years time), will you be like him? Have difficulty living with a woman as one, one soul, in marriage, and treating her with respect as you have been a batchelor for so long?

I find it interesting that your best friend is a female. That's a good thing because you relate to women, maybe your dream may work...

I find it interesting that you posed if I got that correct, as a woman on an on-line dating site, or such, to see how men ask women out, it's quite cunning, in one way... gives you an idea what to say and what not to say, if there is a feminine side to you and that being only in the way in which to understand a woman's mind... but also I find it, disturbing in a slight way, as I wonder what else are you capable of? In that cunningness?

I guess I'd like to ask you, did any woman in your past, really hurt you or "own you" ...and how is your relationship really with your Mother, and do you see a woman "that" woman as a beautiful creature, would you spend the rest of your life, loving her, being there for her, treating her as two souls in one?

I see a lost soul, but one that is trying to find...

Your religious beliefs is in my opinion as WC stated above in her first paragraph....

There is nothing wrong with believing in God, I do, but don't we own ourselves? Yes, he owns us, but are we not allowed to be who we want to be? There is a reason why you feel the strong connection, why you feel you must follow the correct path, his path, no sex before marriage (now), yet your are two people, there is the in-dependent person too there the one that knows he should be himself, and in that you have tried to be but see it as evil... You seem to believe that what you have done is wrong, yet your human, a man, with needs just like everyone else, you haven't in that instance, used a woman for sex, it's not evil...You purely engaged in oral, with someone willingly, whom you paid...

Do you believe in re-incarnation? Do you believe that we are here to learn and change past mistakes? Do you believe in past lives?

I don't know if you'll answer this one either, but Bob Smith, your friend is correct, stop beating yourself up...

But, I think also other's are correct as well, there is a "hatred of women, dis-respect of women" do you know where that has stemmed from?

I rember stating to you I think, you dream, your a romantic who wants, you probably write poetry, listen to romantic songs, you stated you like the old romantic movies, (old), maybe your caught up in the past, and present and can't move on into the future....

Old soul? Or lost soul......


CW

[Guest]

A claim of celebacy due to "religious beliefs" but now hiring prostitutes. Oral sex is still sex. Enough said.

[rcoreyus]

I think everyone should be free to interpret their religious beliefs as they wish - as long as they don't interfere with other people, or do themselves serious harm. If they are doing themselves mental rather than physical harm, the question is trickier

[Allie602]

I am going to speculate here- I am not sure that these post are consistent in terms of intent. I find it puzzling that the OP sounds desperate in the tittle of his post, tells a story that is equally desperate and then defends his position. It seems odd that he post asking for help but has ready all the arguments aganst his own angst. So why post if he is not actually in distress

His post are more and more fantastic but always involve vulnerable woman in the setting of an apartment. How many attractive vulnerable woman are there that take a room alone with men? I don't know. His defense of his position is almost juvenile and contradictory. This does not seem consistent with someone seeking help but someone drawing peple in to hear what they have to say and then debating them. He answers only some post that offer the most material for his arguments and ignores others.

The woman sound young, if they are university age, and it would seem that young woman would room together to have friends and not with a man in his 30's. He suddenly moves what happened to the other apartment with the other room mate. When and how does the the couchsitting stuff take place.

All I can say is that it is unfortunate that a person may use the time of sincere people who only intent here to to help and support others. It makes a mockery of human kindness and the extension of assistance to people that are stranger to each other but there is care non the less.

If he really has a problem, I sincerely hope he gets the assistance he needs, if he does not, I hope he will have the good grace to move on. If I am wrong forgive me.

[rcoreyus]

The chance we take on a forum is that posters may not be what they seem - trolls, advertisers, and just plain crazies are mixed in with legitimate posts. Very difficult to tell.