[Rediscovered]

.....

[AZ Guy]

Okay, thee final word (on penis size at least).....I read an article recently that quoted a study: 85% of females were satisfied with the size of their guy; 55% of males were satisfied with their size. It sounds like generally (and I hate generalizing genders), that men are as insecure about their size as women are about their breast size. It's a shame to have both genders be insecure about themselves when the vast majority are satisfied with what their partner has....

[Guest]

My thoughts on this, mine works, I've only been with 4 women in my life. All but 1 enjoyed it, she tried putting a condom on me- it didn't fit, it was too small. I'm about 9 but it's a fattie. I just figured I'm about average-
Taa-Taa's, what can I say? Women are too worried about them. Small, big, short or tall, Ladies- I just love ya all! Next time you get on the scales think of me please. I think you're beautiful regardless of what the scales or the magazines tell you. You are just what you are supposed to be. Don't let society dictate the way you feel about yourself, lots of men like me just love you for being you. I hope I'm not being too forward here.

[depresssed]

my personal experience....

This is my first post here. I found this site and thread as a result of searching for answers, specifically answers from women on how important, how great a large penis is, why it makes women feel so much better, why if they really have a preference for larger penises they found and stayed with a man who is in the average or small range. Any answers or comments/opinions anyone can provide here will be gratefully appreciated. OK, here I go....

I have been married for 27 years to a wonderful woman. She was 25 when we met, very beautiful, very outgoing and sociable. I love her more than anything. We have four great kids. However, over the past few years I have been more than concerned or bothered. Obsessed and depressed would be the best description. My wife is not honest with me about what she really wants sexually or about my value as a lover. I know she is lying to keep from hurting my feelings, which only makes it worse. She attempted to measure my penis when we were dating but I wouldn't let her. Obviously she wanted to see how I compared to others she has also measured. At least that's my guess. She also told me that she didn't think a penis was adequate unless it reached the owner's belly button. Mine doesn't. We haven't had sex for years in spite of my attempts to get her aroused. She just says she has no sexual desire anymore. Yet she uses a vibrator every day (she doesn't know I know this but I do).

I have a very average penis, between 5.5" and 6" (erect), depending upon my level of arousal. I know I have never made my wife have an orgasm with my penis. That really hurts. I know she loves me, but as a family member, not as a lover. She hasn't cheated. I'm pretty sure of that. She's the most wonderful person I have ever known. I just want her to be happy in every way, including sexually. I know she prefers larger penises than mine. I have no idea how many partners she has had, but I am absolutely certain that she lied to me about that too. She told me she had two before we met, her high school boyfriend and a one-night stand. So, I guess she expects me to believe that she had sex one time in the seven years before she met me. I asked her about her past partners only once and then I dropped the subject even though it was obvious that her answer was not an honest one.

Once after about five years of marriage and her not having an orgasm I bought a sex toy, an 8" x 6" realistic penis vibrator sleeve that I could use as a cover over my penis. The first time we used it she had an orgasm in about ten or fifteen seconds. It was the first time I ever heard her scream, "Oh, God, I'm coming!" About ten or fifteen seconds after entry. So, I don't know if bigger is better for all women, but it certainly is for my wife. Our sex life continued like that for 20 years, with me using a prosthetic penis or a vibrator. Obviously it was a blow to my ego to only be able to satisfy my wife with a prosthetic penis, but at least she was being sexually satisfied. I really believe that a large penis is a psychological turn-on, but since the most important sexual organ is the brain it doesn't matter. If her brain makes her have screaming orgasms because she has an 8" penis in her vagina, it doesn't matter. I think women who have been with men with large penises just aren't happy after that with smaller ones. Again I think it is psychological and not physiological.

Once several years ago my wife was watching a black comedy show. I think it was Dave Chappelle. It was a weird skit of a young, white couple who found themselves in an apartment with four or five black guys. One of the black guys wound up talking to the white female and after a while they went off to the bedroom. Several minutes later her white boyfriend came to get her to leave and she and the black guy were in bed and the black guy said that she was staying there that night. Her white boyfriend grabbed her hand to get her to leave and she just looked at him pitifully, pulling away from him, and said, "no, no, it's OK, I'm staying." The white boyfriend started crying. I looked at my wife and she was smiling. It hurt me to my soul.

Once a couple of years ago my wife and I got into what began as a calm discussion about our sex life. I apologized for having an inadequate penis. She got mad and threw our sex toys away and we haven't had sex since. I don't know what to do next. I thought about seeing a sex therapist to see if he or she can make any sense of it all and fix the problem. I thought before I tried that that I would see what the readers here thought. Please let me know.

One thing is for sure - this whole "bigger is better" thing is hurting a lot of guys out there. I guess it's true but it hurts. Women don't understand what they are doing to us or how much it hurts. So what do the 90% of us who are under 8" do? Jump off a bridge? Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I really hurt.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think alot of it has to do with positions as we are all different..

It could have been the "excitement" of a toy, the thought of something different happening in her sex life.

I'm happy with my fiance but I also know that certain positions I feel him even more and with more intimacy before penetration I feel him in a different way again.

If you are more "friends" family member then there are no real bonding feelings happening and so it's not your penis rather the act is not as initmate as it should be.

[kristalyn_04]

depressed... this is less about your size and more about you being insecure and her being a bit superficial. I'm assuming she knew your size before you got married... if she really considers it to be inadequate then why did she marry you? If she really believes that a bigger penis = better sex, then that is a HER problem and not a YOU problem. If you were confident and secure with who you are and what you have, then what she thinks would not be bothering you so much. She needs to change her mindset about penis size, because it's very unfair to base the value of lovemaking on something you can't control. Likewise, you need to change your mindset about your size and focus on the quality of your sex life, because that is something you can control.

Have you had a look around this thread? Go on, read the first post, all the other guys that have posted about size insecurities, and what our responses were to them. I really don't want to repeat what has been said over and over again in this forum if you can read it for yourself. No matter what anyone's story is about their size insecurities, our answer is always the same.

[depresssed]

Thanks, Chan and Kris. She knew about my penis size before marriage. I can only guess now that at nearly 26 she felt the clock ticking and grabbed the first proposal that came along and believed that she could overcome the inadequate penis thingy. Since she threw out our toys she doesn't want to have sex of any kind any more. She claims she has a lack of desire. You think? The question is why? I am certain that the answer is that she has had bigger penises in her life and I just don't do it for her without the help of an aid of one sort or another, which I am perfectly willing to do if it satisfies her.

We are in a very weird place with intimacy right now. It's been non-existent since our toys found a new home at the landfill. I think she knows why I am so depressed. I guess she doesn't know what to do about it and neither do I.

I think I could make some sense of it all if she was just honest with me. If I knew what other partners she had and why she didn't stay with the better-hung guys and is my lack of adequate size overcomable. I am just so confused.

I have two real problems....

1. My wife is just not honest with me. I know it is because she is trying to spare my feelings, but it is having the opposite effect. It leaves me completely in the dark. I have no frame of reference. I don't know who the competition is and why they were able to do what I am not able to.

2. My wife resents any mention of the topic and shuts down as soon as it is broached. In this case maybe honesty is not the best thing, but I see no other way to cure my ills.

[jns]

Once a couple of years ago my wife and I got into what began as a calm discussion about our sex life. I apologized for having an inadequate penis. She got mad and threw our sex toys away and we haven't had sex since. I don't know what to do next. I thought about seeing a sex therapist to see if he or she can make any sense of it all and fix the problem. I thought before I tried that that I would see what the readers here thought. Please let me know.

One thing is for sure - this whole "bigger is better" thing is hurting a lot of guys out there. I guess it's true but it hurts. Women don't understand what they are doing to us or how much it hurts. So what do the 90% of us who are under 8" do? Jump off a bridge? Maybe I'm too sensitive, but I really hurt.

She got mad at you because you apologized for inadequacies that caused her to hurl cruel barbs? She is not very honest with herself.

Fortunately, most women would consider average sized guys that can love them and they can love to be good matches, so no need to start a class action lemming thing. Let those who require massive size spend their time finding such. When they the complain about those guys for not having good other traits it will be a cue to us to walk away, shaking our heads.

[jns]

Penis size.what do you think?

Hello Ladies.
my penis is 4.75 inches hard, i know it is really small and i have always been self-conscious about it. My penis size has always given me so many emotional problems, starting with confidence and self-esteem issues. I am lucky to have a girlfriend that loves me, but my emotional problems due to my penis size impede me from having a happy relationship, im always so insecure, im always thinking my girlfriend would leave me for someone that would satisfy her better sexually. i have grown to be very jealous sometimes when she is her friends, (and i know that i just pushing her away from me, but i cant help it sometimes) i always feel as if my penis is not enough for her. Me and my girlfriend have been going out for 5 years now, we were both virgins on our first time, so i know she has not been with other men. In a way this should give me some piece of mind, however at the same time it makes me feel hopeless, i feel as if she is the only girl for me, that i have no other options out there, that i if i ever date someone else chances are she has slept with other men and she would definitely notice my size.
i really don't know what to do, my self-esteem is in the floor, im so afraid of loosing my girlfriend, because i know if i loose her no girl would be happy with me sexually.
i need to know what to do because with these insecurities and jealousy i will most likely loose her.
one more thing have you ever had sex with a man the same size as me? if yes how was sex? what would you do if pulling down a man pants you find he has a penis the same size as me?, please be honest
thank you!!!

This is an answer to your fears of not being long enough. By the time I got to the thread it was closed as it should have been addressed on this thread.

On one of the earlier posts has a link to penis length around the world. It turns out that over half of the population in the world is from places with relatively short penises. Obviously short penises do not stop procreation and women from those areas are not concerned enough to stop having sex or children. If you are so concerned about length, why not travel to one of those places and find out if you can find a woman who loves you and thinks you are more than adequate. I think you would be surprised to find that most women do not care about length. Let me repeat, do not care about length.

[WildChild]

It sounds like you have head tripped yourself into this. She has hung in there so you may still have a chance to repair this and earn her forgiveness for all your distrust and for creating an environment that makes honesty almost impossible. My take on this is that it has far more to do with your attitude than your penis size. Yes it is true that the mind is the biggest sex organ and it sounds like yours has really messed you up.

You've moped and mooned and worried over this for over 27 years. You have firmly convinced yourself that she is untruthful and that 3 decades ago she had several partners that she won't admit to who and who had outsized penises. She must be about my age and to be quite frank if I were her I'd be ready to wack you upside the head with a frying pan on my way out the door.

Good sex once you get past the initial honeymoon phase, is about connection, knowing and responding to each other, about trust and growing openness. How well do you really think you "connect" with all this running through your head? Do you think she can't sense your reserve and your distrust of her? All the toys in the world won't make up for that.

You think her lack of desire is due to the memory of some well hung guy she had 30 yrs ago? My guess is that its far more likely due to over a quarter century of being doubted, questioned and never having you give yourself fully in the relationship. How could you give yourself fully with this kind of attitude toward her?

I strongly urge you to get into counseling and get past this. 5.5 to 6" is a nice size. CW is probably correct about angle and positions. Your wife probably came with the sleeve or dildo because it hit her gspot. You can do that with a finger! Truth is it probably wouldn't matter WHAT she said unless it was that your penis is too small and she had the entire football team back in HS and they were all hung like horses. You are only going to believe the story you have written for yourself. She cannot win with that scenario and neither can you.

Sorry if I sound rather POd about this but I once dated a guy who put me through an emotional wringer with his sexual doubt and distrust and jealousy and know what? He was 10.5 inches. I really doubt that size has anything to do with this- any place but in your head.

" I think women who have been with men with large penises just aren't happy after that with smaller ones. Again I think it is psychological and not physiological."

Total nonsense. A few years after Mr. Jealous 10.5, I was with a guy who was less than 3". I had no trouble cumming with him. I've had more than a handful of men, all sizes, of over the nearly 40 yrs I've been sexually active and what makes the difference is technique, caring and connection. (you'll notice size isn't on that list)

Get into counseling. You should probably look at both couples and individual. This has gone on so long that I kind of doubt it will work as a DIY repair.