[funlovingmale]

(edit)

I read statistics of how much porn the average male consumes and was shocked -15min a day! When asked in public, not many own up to it though. Where am I going with this? I am interested to know what sort of effect so much porn consumption has on steady relationships and marriages. Personally, I look at internet porn for about half an hour about twice a month, usually coinciding with times of increased libido and\or when my wife is not giving me sufficient attention! Certain acts such as anal, threesomes, gang bangs and double penetration, which would have been considered perverted or sexually deviant at best going back a decade or two(prior to the advent of the internet) , are now commonplace all over the net and viewed by millions daily. I don't wish to enter into a moral debate here but wish to comment on how porn affects my relationship and would like to know how it effects others.

I would love to try anal with my wife if she would only let me! (We had a lame and unsuccessful attempt once.) I would also like to do the above and insert a vibrator (in her vagina - an idea from watching dp in porn!) The point of mentioning these 'fantasies' is that I see all these exciting things being done and would love an opportunity to attempt to drive my wife wild with them. My immagination runs wild and my expectation of her is to be open to trying out new avenues of pleasure. But she is not willing (thus far- anal or toys) to entertain me, which I think is conservative, unadventurous and a little mean of her (I would entertain her.) This makes me a little disillusioned and sexually frustrated - a place I would not have come to without porn. Does anyone relate?

I do not consider myself to be perverted. I am a fun loving male that wishes to take my wife to new heights of sexual bliss, if only she would let go, and let me! I would never hurt her. Her bliss is my bliss.

I have digressed. The central point is porn and its affect on your relationships. Is it a positive or a negative for you? Do you watch it together prior to making love? Do you resent your man for wanting to try out some of the things that you assume he has seen there or does it give you exciting ideas to treat your man with. Do you watch it on your own much ladies?

[Guest]

Do consider it your wifes place place to " entertain" you ??

The problem with porn is what you already brought up, you watch all these things and then don't understand why your wife doesn't want to do them..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

But she is not willing (thus far- anal or toys) to entertain me, which I think is conservative, unadventurous and a little mean of her (I would entertain her.) This makes me a little disillusioned and sexually frustrated - a place I would not have come to without porn. Does anyone relate?

Be ready for your responses and posters be ready for my edits or deletions and that of our Moderators...

In my opinion having read this, you watch porn, like what you see want her to perform, she says no, you think it's selfish....

A woman is not a toy...Inserting a vibrator "toy" into her when she wants intimacy love, is not a joy...

It's not a case of sexually incompatible in my opinion, it's you want racey as you've watched "acting" and she does not want to feel like a porn star...

What amazes me is "some" men don't realise with loving, giving, experimenting with love. giving her intimacy as if she is the most beautiful woman on earth and loved can make a woman do things that she wouldn't consider in that love....

The moment you think with your ............and we see that, that's the moment we say no way........

Ask yourself when was the last time you gave....not took and why is it important for her to act like a porn star?

And lastly, I have boundries, but no inhibitions.....I find it sexy to show, sexy, me, be me.....so don't think I am a prude, not at all...But, my gripe is these threads, that don't state, I go down on her, give her orgasms, I love adventure, loving her, giving and getting it back....

Instead it's "yes a curse" I watched porn, I want that...but she won't give it....

Your woman can be the most classy woman yet, a tart in bed, it's up to you to make her feel both and safe to be both.....By not being selfish and wanting both, selfishly, without her feeling sexy, beautiful without your gain as your intention...and safe...

CW

[funlovingmale]

Do consider it your wifes place place to " entertain" you ??

Would it be ok if she decided she no longer wanted to make love at all? I would love it if we were on the same page in the sexual adventure stakes. I have no expectation of her to indulge my fantasies, only hope (I realise these desires will be considered 'way out' by a lot of women.) I respect her body and her wishes but do not enjoy mental conditioning and preconceived ideas. I would like her to approach my ideas with an open mind, try them out and then if it does not blow her hair back then I will accept that unconditionally and not bring it up again. I would like the same from her. Does she not wish to please me? I certainly wish to please her!

PS: I preclude acts involving a third party!

[Guest]

In your first post you were not talking about "Making love"

[CHANDLERS WISH]

True, in your first post it was porn, a blessing or a curse..so maybe that is why she has chosen NOT to want sex at all...from .....you....

CW

[Hopeless Dork]

(edit)

This makes me a little disillusioned and sexually frustrated - a place I would not have come to without porn. Does anyone relate?

Porn is not real life. WANTING, not expecting (there IS a difference), your wife to try new things with you is normal. Wanting them because you saw them in porn... and expect her to be like the women in movies is as silly as her feeling dissapointed with your marriage because of some sandra bullock movie she sawwhere the husband is picking her up in helecopters and leaving diamonds in her morning muffins and you not living up to that.

Understand that the things those women are ooo'ing and ahhhing about in porn, are things they are being paid to do, being paid to look like they enjoy for entertainment of others. Instead of watching porn, especially if you have trouble seperating what is fake and what is real... you should talk to your wife, listen to her when you make love to her... ask her what feels good , ask her if she would like to try x, y, or z... because its something you want to try to please her with.. not cause you saw it in a movie.

Not every women is going to beam with joy for double penetration, even if the porn stars look like they LOVE it... not every woman is going to want anal...etc. I think porn can be DEVISTATING to a relationship if 1. The man is using it as a substitute for sex with a person while in a relationship with someone that wants to have sex with them. and 2. When a man can't seperate reality from fiction and thinks that everything they see a woman moan about in porn is something any woman would actually enjoy.

[Hopeless Dork]

Does she not wish to please me? I certainly wish to please her!

In the way you have spoken here... if you treat her at all the way your words come across ... you may be stripping her of any organic desires to pleasure you and turning it into a chore. Contrary to what you may think most women want to satisfy their man, make him feel good... but she needs to feel wanted, loved, special and appreciated in order to feel good about doing that.

If you make her feel like its her duty to make you feel good... that right there would knock the desire out of me. Married or not, any act of pleasure a partner gives a partner (male or female) is a gift, shouldn't be taken for granted... and should never be "expected" especially things that push one partner out of their comfort zone. She should not be 'expected' to try perverted acts you saw in porn, unless its something she truly wants to try out... but let me tell you this... if you start your sentence with ... but but... but... I saw it in a porno and that girl seemed to like it fine!! You're going to be working up hill to get her interested.

Women do not like to feel like they are having to live up to your jerk off material.

[Texasred]

Do consider it your wifes place place to " entertain" you ??

The problem with porn is what you already brought up, you watch all these things and then don't understand why your wife doesn't want to do them..

X2
Porn is nothing like the real world, and what you see there has nothing whatsoever to do with making love.

[funlovingmale]

CW:Thanks for your insight. Double drats for editing out my opening joke which I thought was an ideal catalyst for debate, albeit a bit crass! In the context of how I perceive you to perceive me (selfish porn inspired pervert) I agree with virtually all you have written! There is a fine line between wanting to please yourself by pleasing your lover and being selfish. I see you paint me on the 'wrong' side! The thrust of my enquiry is about impact of porn on relationships and not my fantasies which may never come into fruition! I am not seeking to be controversial or crass, only candid so that you can better understand where I'm coming from.