[Hopeless Dork]

Reading between the lines of what you are saying is it sounds like you want to have sex with a woman, but you don't want a relationship... you want to know how to get involved in a no-strings relationship without embarassing yourself or the female in the process (if its not what she wants)...

Well if you want casual sex... then don't get involved in a relationship... and date. Date women, ask women out, go on dates... if they give you signs they are into you... inniciate sex, if they want to do it ... that is no-strings sex. If they ask you ahead of time if you are seeing someone else (or planning on it) you need to be honest that you are dating around and not looking to settle down... or else you'd just be being a jerk that lies, and uses to get sex (which would be the objectification you are so worried about committing).

If you are thinking you can meet a woman and say hi, I am bob... would you like no-strings sex with me? You will not get much (mostly likely none) positive responses... as it would be awkward, and yes... mighty assumptive. Most no strings sexual encounters stem from dating... so dating is what you should be doing.

If you are wanting no-strings sex without having to take a chick on a date... try internet dating where they have sections for people that just want sex ... but there is not a lot of luck in that. Sex without the slightest form of effort on the man's part in obtaining the interest of the female is usually only going to happen with a pro.

[liminal]

But do you think that men who want more than that also want NSA sex? Or are you saying that they don't?

I want NSA sex quite a bit actually but if true LOVE comes along I don't care I don't care if I even get laid at all.

So I don't know how you would classify me. Am I I'm both of your divisions simultaneously?

If you think it's pretty normal for guys to want NSA Sex then my other question is what do you think is the normal and socially acceptable way of finding that?

[Hopeless Dork]

If you think it's pretty normal for guys to want NSA Sex then my other question is what do you think is the normal and socially acceptable way of finding that?

Dating. I don't know what possible scenerio other than that , that you are thinking there is? Besides casual encounters postings on dating sites... You are really not going to find no-strings sex painted on a womans forehead and then you wink at her and she follows you home. Its going to involve getting out there, meeting women... dating, being attractive to them (physically or mentally) so that they actually want to have sex with you... which usually happens, with yep, dating.

[liminal]

I don't have any friends at all. I can't engage in small talk or crack jokes or do the things that people do to make friends so all my friends are on the internet.

[liminal]

sometimes you have to take chances and risk making a fool of yourself, its as simple as that. be straight forward and tell that person what you want.

Well I ask for specifically when it is that I am making a fool myself and when it's wrong.

[Hopeless Dork]

Well I ask for specifically when it is that I am making a fool myself and when it's wrong.

It would be 'wrong' in my opinon, if you ask a woman to have sex with you that you have made no attempt to charm, it would likely end up in rejection. If a woman is a stranger to you and you ask her for sex with no strings... I can't see one possible scenerio of that working out the way you'd want. However if you flirt, make her smile, ask her out...ask for her number... you can build up a sexual tension if you are both interested in each other.

You have to crawl before you walk... if you have no female friends, don't talk to women... you can't get from their to casual sex without first being comfortable talking to and asking out women.

[liminal]

Okay this makes sense in some ways but aren't people dating for a long term relationship? Isn't it manipulative to be like I am probably not that interested in you beyond sex on the third date? Shouldn't that possibility be brought up as early as possible to avoid manipulation?

I mean I want to ask is the fact that I'm a guy sort of imply that that possibility is always there?

Dating. I don't know what possible scenerio other than that , that you are thinking there is? Besides casual encounters postings on dating sites... You are really not going to find no-strings sex painted on a womans forehead and then you wink at her and she follows you home. Its going to involve getting out there, meeting women... dating, being attractive to them (physically or mentally) so that they actually want to have sex with you... which usually happens, with yep, dating.

[Hopeless Dork]

No... not all dating is for long term relationships... in fact I'd say half of the dating that goes on is for pure entertainment... someone to enjoy an evening with. When you ask someone on a date you are not pledging your undying love for them... you are asking them for a good time, if things heat up, good for both of you.

If a woman is interest in marriage screening dating only... she is not going to hop in the sack with you. Women love making out and feeling good 'down there' as much as guys do... and date for the fun, attention, the making out and yes... the sex. If a woman asks you if you are looking for something serious... you should be honest and say that no, you are just dating and having fun at this time in your life...

Women aren't babies that need to be coddled to... assuming you are talking about adult women here... they know all about the difference between flings, one night stands and an intimate/emotional connection. Look at threads on this board about women talking about having sex on a first or second date, etc... women have sex with they want to, when there is chemistry... and no... they don't all want to marry you afterwards.

But trying to find casual sex without even dating a woman? Without even building a rapport with her on the phone after asking for her number? Without charming her? Just by asking for it? Your odds would be leaning towards... none.. unless its through some casual encounter online thing.

[liminal]

The thing I worry about is that it's not always obvious that a girl wants sex wth you. Once I hung ut with a gal that suddenly wanted to have sex with me and it totally came out of left field.

I didn't have sex with her because as I said it came out of left field and there was no prior flirting or wooing. You probably think I'm weird or something for not having sex with her.

It occurred to me that I could have hit on her if I wanted to. Basically I would have assumed it would be wrong to hit on her. So it turns out what I thought was wrong. And that's part of why I need help understanding.

[liminal]

Wow this is one of the most clarifying and helpful and logical post that I've come across while asking these kind of questions on Internet forums.

No... not all dating is for long term relationships... in fact I'd say half of the dating that goes on is for pure entertainment... someone to enjoy an evening with. When you ask someone on a date you are not pledging your undying love for them... you are asking them for a good time, if things heat up, good for both of you.

If a woman is interest in marriage screening dating only... she is not going to hop in the sack with you. Women love making out and feeling good 'down there' as much as guys do... and date for the fun, attention, the making out and yes... the sex. If a woman asks you if you are looking for something serious... you should be honest and say that no, you are just dating and having fun at this time in your life...

Women aren't babies that need to be coddled to... assuming you are talking about adult women here... they know all about the difference between flings, one night stands and an intimate/emotional connection. Look at threads on this board about women talking about having sex on a first or second date, etc... women have sex with they want to, when there is chemistry... and no... they don't all want to marry you afterwards.

But trying to find casual sex without even dating a woman? Without even building a rapport with her on the phone after asking for her number? Without charming her? Just by asking for it? Your odds would be leaning towards... none.. unless its through some casual encounter online thing.