[Guest]

Wondering how women feel about this. Your husband wants sex, you push him away for 8-10 months at a time. If he had phone sex with some gal in another state and it wouldn't lead anywhere except him taking care of his needs would that be cheating? I'm just wondering. And if he had truly tried to get close to you and you still pushed him away, how would you feel about it?

[Guest]

Okay, I think I know how this is going to go-
What if he isn't a dirt bag and really loves you, but you just could care less about his needs? Would he still be a scum bag for it? I'm just wondering. I've never cheated but my wife could care less about my needs. I want to do the right thing, but it's a real pain walking around with an erection all the time and it's painfully obvious- guess it's my problem, eh?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Mark,

Men masterbate to porn, wives don't like it, due to feeling they are worthless, yet they are not, it's a need for visual to help and it's a stress release quicker than making love and if it doesn't interfere in the bedroom? Then in general everyone says don't worry about it.

Phone sex? It's verbal instead of visual...and in your case, who cares? Given your wife doesn't care about you in the bedroom, it stands to reason you need something.

Stop trying to do the right thing, she isn't so you don't have to either.....

[Guest]

As a man and IMO, phone sex is cheating...plain and simple.

SO, IF you want to cheat on your wife to satisfy your needs, and yes I've read your other thread, then knock yourself out. IF your needs are more important to you than whether or not you are cheating...knock yourself out.

Before you do, ask yourself how your wife will feel when she finds out? How would you feel if you found out the same about your wife?

I know you've had struggles and many of them. Quite frankly, I cannot relate because the same thing has never happened to me. I know all too well about being cheated on and EXACTLY how that feels...it's awful and once it occurs, it can never be taken back or undone....ever.

If you truly love your wife and you say that you do, I would suggest doing almost anything EXCEPT cheating.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Or leave her..............

[rcoreyus]

If someone doesn't provide for their partner's (reasonable) sexual needs in a relationship, I think that they should expect them to find some other outlet.

[kaleidoscopelove]

Maybe try talking to your wife and tell her you're in need of sex. It sounds bad but hey, we all have needs. Under no conditions is it necessary to cheat. If you even think about cheating, i don't think a relationship is the right thing for you...

[Guest]

I've tried talking to her... She just changes the subject and goes on about her way. I'm ignored, cut off verbally and sexually. She could care less by her actions, but says she loves me. That's Not Love-

[Guest]

Neither is cheating...or trying to justify/rationalize it.

[Texinator]

If she's not willing to change, I think your choices are limited to either accepting it or leaving her. Going outside the relationship isn't really an option.