[punchdrunkloved]

I apologize in advance if this is in the wrong place but I would really appreciate honest and truthful opinions. Like many women who have children, I have 1, most of us have stretch marks. I am relatively small in stature and thin so to me while my skin is all the same color I hate the thought of wearing bathing suits or sometimes being naked because of the look of the skin. Also when I was 28 I had a breast reduction and have the standard scarring. Again my scars aren't elevated but I worry that my husband of 8 months notices them. I love sex with him, its absolutely amazing but I often find myself not wanting to be on top unless I am in reverse cowgirl because I feel with the eye contact he is "reviewing" to scarring. Have any men in this audience as it may be been turned off by these scars or are you truly focused on us and don't find them to be unattractive?

[punchdrunkloved]

(note: he is my second husband so this all happened prior to me being with him, don't know if that really matters but just thought I would throw that in there lol)

[jns]

Scars come from something happening in your life. I tend to find them interesting because they have a story behind them; something else to understand and find common ground. I have scars that have stories, too. Stretch marks also come with a story. Again, something to learn about or something to remember. Don't worry about scars and stretch marks. If you want to, you can ask him if he finds any of them objectionable. I would bet he does not.

[punchdrunkloved]

He always says no and many times he tells me that he really doesn't see them. I always appreciate his candor and honesty but I guess I get so wrapped up in not being "perfect" that I don't want to disappoint. Your right too, all of our scars have stories. He calls them roadmaps of my life. I guess I was more curious since these marks were not created with him. Thank you for your response, it's comforting to see a man that is sensitive in regards to viewing these roadmaps.

[Hopeless Dork]

Men and women look at bodies differently. Thats why guys will be drooling over a woman and other women are like bleahhh, what do they see in her? They don't examine the flaws, they are drawn into what they LIKE...

While your worrying about your scar under your breasts... his eyes aren't on it, they are on the breast as a whole, the fact there is a naked chick on top of them (lol)... they take in the good stuff and don't look at the little things us women do.

When we scope out a woman, we're going hm.. look at that cellulite... men are going, look at that nice round behind. We are the knitpickers... they see and appreciate a beauty in us we will likely never understand.

Trust that when your guy is horny its not your flaws he's checking out, he's focusing on the things about you that turn him on.

We will beat ourselves up over a zit, go through painstaking efforts to rectify it and hide it... and they aren't looking at it.

But... keep in mind... the more you bring up your flaws to them, the more you are forcing them to examine them, he might have not ever noticed or cared about that scar on your leg , etc... but if you keep on it, keep drilling it in... it will be human nature for him to pay more attention to it... so just stop worrying about it and accentuate your postives!!

[punchdrunkloved]

So very true and very eloquently put. Ok, no more obsessing lol

[Texinator]

It's very simple. When a man has a naked woman on top of him, he either doesn't care about imperfections or he probably doesn't even notice them. In fact, that goes also for having a naked woman just in front of him.

[WildChild]

What's that line from When Harry Met Sally?

[Rediscovered]

I've always lived by the rule that I *never* point out my self-perceived flaws to a man~~no reason to draw attention to something that he doesn't notice anyway~~but once you point them out, how can he *not* notice? Better to love your body for its beautiful femininity and stop being critical. Once you are making love and you are thinking about how your body looks, you are no longer present or in the moment. A man can feel that.

[punchdrunkloved]

Well usually when I am on top I find a way to always lean down to kiss him...his eyes burn into me as he watches my face and that makes me self conscience too. I know he thinks I am beautiful and that means more to me than anything. I just need to relax a bit and work with him to get rid of my hangups. Thank God he talks to me about anything and everything.