[diplodocus]

Ok so I've been with my bf for a year and a half, and pretty much have no issues (anymore) my issue is when I can't have sex with my bf, as in on my period or sick or if I missed the pill =/) we usually just fool around. Mostly coz my bf finds it fun to turn me on knowing nothing can happen!! Usually this mucking around is frustrating and it mostly ends with me giving him a blow job. It's annoying coz it turns me on but I get no relief! I don't altogether mind coz I like pleasing him and I like bjs!

The thing that's kinda got me feeling a bit weird about it lately is that I have started to feel like he's slightly manipulating me to give him these bjs. I say this coz just recently he's been doing it more often and being a little but more forceful (pushing my head down and holding it there, but gently) and kinda guilts me into doin it as well.

Also the act of giving the bj has changed as well. Before he'd just let me do my thing but now he will just stroke his penis and expect me to just hold my lips over the tip =/ sort of makes me feel like im just a masturbating tool now and its kinda of upsetting. I'm not sure if it's now changed coz I'm doing something wrong? Or if he doesn't want to be more intimate than we used to be?? I'm kinda confused and feel slightly used. I'm not sure if I should talk to him or just let it go and see if it changes again? Or what? Any ideas on what I could do to stop him making me feel like his "sex tool" instead of his "sex partner"?? Or do you think I'm making something out of nothing and just get over it?

[Tripp]

Yeah I don't think your looking into it too much. That sucks that you cant go all the way but at the same time just because your on your period or you missed the pill doesnt mean you cant enjoy getting some too. When my girl is on her period and is actually wearing a tampon I still go down on here right when we get out of the shower just play around with her clit or if she missed the pill we still do stuff but just not to the point of me going all the way inside of her!

Maybe he can even rub one out for you. As far as him exacting it. Thats kind of messed up and takes the fun out of it so if you feel like he is exacting it dont do it one time when you think he wants you to and if he ask about it just tell him he cant get it everytime he feels like it and ask him how it feels to be so horny but not get to cum. If he gets mad about it then let it blow over let him think about it.

but if it was me and i did that to my girl and she just did what I said, it would make me stop right there and think...how messed up i was so I would try to please her in other ways than just making her horny and me cumming.

[waya]

I don't think you're making too big a deal out of it. If you feel like a sex tool and continue to let it go it will probably just get worse. Maybe he's just doing it so you don't have to do as much work but who knows unless you talk to him.

[WildChild]

Why can't you have sex when you are on your period?
Why can't you use a condom sometimes?
Why do you miss taking a pill?

If you feeling like a tool then don't do it. He's probably seen this in porn and doesn't even stop to think that it leaves you out, especially when you aren't doing it because it is something you choose to do.

[oxy-moron]

You have both just let yourselves slide into some bad habbits.
Tell him you have been getting an uncontollable urge to bite his penis and that you are really worried that you wont be able to resist the urge- this will give him something to think about.
Like WC says you can do it during your period.
I would have to say some some of the hotest sex ever is the first day or two of the period.
For some reason ladies get hot and bothered round that time.

[Chas]

My wife loves it when I go down on her during her period. She washes first and puts in a fresh tampon. This usually leads to her subsequently removing her tampon so we can have intercourse (with a towel under her, of course).

May I suggest that the only difference between you feeling like a tool and you feeling aroused by what he is doing is your state of mind? Your real sex organ (your brain) is calling the shots here.

[Hopeless Dork]

I don't let my boyfriend in my panties when I'm on my period.. even though when I am on my period is when I am THE MOST horny, and THE most sensitive/responsive... I'll masturbate myself at that time of the month and the orgasms are always extremely intense with the mildest of stimulation...

But as chas mentions, its a mental thing. I know I am 'clean' when its that time, I wash frequently, fresh girlie-stick inserted, but I'm mortified at the thought of him being turned off by me in any way shape or form so I prefer to keep the mystery on that one :P

But I must say that my boyfriend gets QUITE a healthy dose of sexual attention when its 'that time' for me... since I am at the THE MOST horny time...lol.. i am on him like crazy ... lots of bjs, lots of fondeling, lots of clothes on making out. In a way I kind of like the no sex thing during that time... it allows there to be some build up... something extra special to look forward to on the 'all clear' day :P

[anne100]

I would agree with the majority of what people are saying. However control is an amazingly powerful (and useful) thing and he may be getting off on the power that he has or percieves that he has over you in the situations you described. There are a three things I could suggest, you need to either accept it, rechannel it, or you need to stop it all together by talking to him and making him aware of how you feel.
If you accept it remember you need to gain your own control, so do little things that you know drive him crazy. Looking into his eyes, running your hands all over him. That way you have as much control over his lust as he has over yours.
The other option is rechanneling it so instead of letting him touch himself while you give him a bj get him to use his "power" with something else with something you like, being pinned down, or letting you tease him back, are good examples.
Over all though I think conversation is the most important thing because the more you feel used the more you will resent him and the more you are going to draw away from sex.
Also, period sex is amazing, start off in the shower and move whereever you want from there. Having a towel on hand is always fantastic though! (dark colour towels wont show the blood so take that into account before you initiate it for the first time)

[Guest]

This is really sad that everyone is self centered and wants the other as a tool for gratifying one's urge becoming uncaring. I too have similar feelings and feel abandoned all alone. I do not know how males try to cheat on their wives callously or they simply like to use us and discard vehemently finally as if we are used things. Whenever I am horny he is not their and when he is here he becomes unapproachable giving this and that excuse. Kind of standoffishness prevails between us. I finger my organ to cool my libido. I understand your position. There are too many advisors and most of their advices are impractical since they cannot exactly sense the predicament we are hemmed in.

[Guest]

I may be a guy, but I too am controlled by my wife. I hate it, she only wants it when she is horny, what about my horny? No, I have to take care of that and I'm sick of it. I don't like the control on either side. When one is horny, the other should be sympathetic to the others needs. Unfortunately, some feel the need to control others instead of being there for them. I fulfill her needs, but she could care less about mine, so I too know the feeling of being someones tool. As soon as she gets off, she's done whether I am or not. She doesn't give bj's or handjobs- that's, "My Problem to Deal With!"