[rcoreyus]

Just as a data point, this isn't at all what I would want. I think sex would be completely boring if the woman isn't actively enjoying what is going on, and even better if she is suggesting new things that she wants. If she is just passively doing what the man wants I don't see much advantage over taking care of yourself, of just hiring someone.

I think what many men - though certainly not all men - want is a woman who is "passively sexual." That means she's willing to sex whenever and however he wants it, but she doesn't communicate any desires of her own. He doesn't have to worry about taking the time and making the effort to please her then. I don't know if that comes from the false belief that women can't/shouldn't feel sexual pleasure, if it is due to laziness, or a combination of both. That's why there are men that would rather masturbate to porn than have sex with a real woman, because two minutes of "handiwork" is faster and easier than making sure she's also feeling good.

[Texinator]

I think what many men - though certainly not all men - want is a woman who is "passively sexual." That means she's willing to sex whenever and however he wants it, but she doesn't communicate any desires of her own. He doesn't have to worry about taking the time and making the effort to please her then. I don't know if that comes from the false belief that women can't/shouldn't feel sexual pleasure, if it is due to laziness, or a combination of both. That's why there are men that would rather masturbate to porn than have sex with a real woman, because two minutes of "handiwork" is faster and easier than making sure she's also feeling good.

Ironically, what especially the most selfish of those men fail to understand is the power of a sexually satisfied woman. If a woman feels loved and appreciated not only emotionally but also physically - and I do believe that a strong emotional connection is the best "foreplay" possible - then she is going to want to return the favor ten fold.

[LanaBear]

I think what many men - though certainly not all men - want is a woman who is "passively sexual." That means she's willing to sex whenever and however he wants it, but she doesn't communicate any desires of her own.

BINGO!!!

I agree with this. We constantly hear about men wanting a sexual woman, but really, do they really want a sexual woman or someone who is passively sexual? I would definitely opt with the passively sexual. Once the woman's light bulb turns on and she turns into a "sexual tigress" in many cases the man is going WTF??? He's bit off more than he can chew and doesn't know what to do with it.

BTW!!! I'm not saying ALL men, just a good number of them.

[WildChild]

BINGO!!!

I agree with this. We constantly hear about men wanting a sexual woman, but really, do they really want a sexual woman or someone who is passively sexual? I would definitely opt with the passively sexual. Once the woman's light bulb turns on and she turns into a "sexual tigress" in many cases the man is going WTF??? He's bit off more than he can chew and doesn't know what to do with it.

BTW!!! I'm not saying ALL men, just a good number of them.

What they may both fail to grasp is that connectedness and quality rather than quantity is what will win the day.

[Texinator]

So what can women as a group - or better yet, women AND men together- do to elevate the importance of the female orgasm?

[Guest]

I'm a bit confused by this post. Mainly because no matter what, my wife could care less about the actual act. She loves the snuggling sometimes and hates it other times. We connect as "friends", I connect physically, but she doesn't get that part at all. Making love just isn't there for her. I think I actually disgust her sexually and she just isn't interested in it with me. She sure does flirt with other men though, so I flirt with women and she gets mad. I'm like, Why? Why is it ok for her, but not me?
I've told my son to be careful of the women who are eager to get married, they will do anything until that paper is signed, then things change. I truly believe this is why men have reservations about marriage, they're afraid they will end up in my position.
I'd love for my wife to truly Want me, in all ways.
Guess I'm missing out on the fun of female orgasm and all of it's intricasies(sp)? Female orgasm, I'd love to learn more about how to get her there and keep her wanting more. I'm still reading though, over and over.

[Guest]

It took me years to figure out women's sex needs

I wish I would have learned sooner. I married my first partner. With the lack of experience, it took years to understand how to make my wife orgasmic every time. When I was young. my spouse was orgasmic about 40% of the time. The rest of the time was blamed on me. Part of the problem was my spouse as she did not communicate well and would never touch herself. We never did much oral. After she turned 44, her drive really took off and she was more aggressive. I also read a book by a feamle doctor about how to make her first. Made a world of difference. Now she orgasisms probably 95% of the time and multiple times. I figured out, if you make her come first, it only makes her more horney and in the end, I get more sex. Win Win!!

[Texinator]

I've told my son to be careful of the women who are eager to get married, they will do anything until that paper is signed, then things change. I truly believe this is why men have reservations about marriage, they're afraid they will end up in my position.

It goes both ways. There are both men and women who are eager to get married for the sake of that security, and then they change as soon as they are married, because they feel like the security of marriage means they no longer have to make an effort. Then again, there are people who don't even wait until marriage, and they change as soon as they've "sold" a person into being in a romantic relationship with them and can call them their boyfriend or girlfriend.

It's not exclusive to women, and so while there might be men who are reluctant when it comes to commitment because they worry their partner might change, there are also plenty who fear marriage because it takes effort to be in an exclusive, long term relationship, an effort they don't have to make if they are sleeping around and have a different date every night.

[WildChild]

. Now she orgasisms probably 95% of the time and multiple times. I figured out, if you make her come first, it only makes her more horney and in the end, I get more sex. Win Win!!

You got it!
Scientist and science fiction writer Robert Heinlein brought this up in some of his books, that women are horniest when they just had sex (one orgasm creates a desire for more).
No matter how attracted I am to a man, my attraction to him can carry it only so far. If he is not a good and interested lover, I will start to lose interest in sex with him - not in sex but with him. Too many men (and women) seem to define being "good" at sex as getting him off.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

What they want is a woman who acquiesces to sex when THEY want it.

I think they are excited at the prospect that they have a woman whom is "open", adventurous and especially if she states she has no inhibitions it's like yay I like this prospect.

What they want if for you to initiate and more so, to initiate via touching thy penis Preferably bj style , and definately as a wake up but the selfishness that seemingly can not be helped allows them to lay back and enjoy, cum and leave her high and dry... The bj which obviously for a man is orgasmic, seems to be the criteria from my understanding, experience, discussions that is the man thing a man wants to know his new lady is prepared to do.

With respect to female orgasms, penetration and me are friends there, maybe because very few men either knew how to or wanted to know how to please a woman thinking that if she is wet, then she doesn't need it, or thinking if she acted horney wanted it, she doesn't need it, or selfishness yet again.

What cracks me up and no punt intended is when at some point they are honest and say, well I was too keen the other day, I've got cuts for pushing too quickly... ? ? I can not see that it is not evident if a woman is not arroused enough (she is not a machine either), that a man is going to just keep pushing to get it in, and then claim wetness after a while and not realise what may occur let alone how there would be no real feeling for her to start with until the penetration kicks in....

I don't think a lot of men no offense, realise that woman aren't asking for foreplay to be equal, they are not asking for it necessarily to get wet, alot do as I do, from the thought, and / or penetration pending on tiredness But, because the difference of what they will "get" from doing so is amazingly mind blowing to both parties.... I really don't think they get it....

I still maintain that a lot of men are selfish but I also think if they went to school for a week, tried it, they would never, ever, do anything in-different unless both parties just wanted a quicky up against the couch or something....

I say that because seriously, it seems like a chore to some men, and it seems like a chore to some women, mainly because the bond and connection isn't strong enough and if it was mandatory, I'm betting sex would be once a month for those types of people and because there is nothing wrong with being horney and purely just wanting it there and then, over and out....