[Guest]

I get what you are all saying and I'll get off the topic and stop asking for it......in my mind, when you love someone and grow together with time and experiences...then ,at least she should give it a try, which she hasn't, so that is what bothers me....anyway, she is upset since she believes that we need to enjoy what we have and not concetrate too much in what we don't have...it is easy for her to say it since 2 years ago, I didn't even know how her vagina looks like.....she wouldn't it let touch or finger her....and oral (let just say, I don't remember before when I ever gave her oral - she didn't want to)...anyway, to me is emotional since for her to give anything to our intimacy always have come to fighting, suffering and crying...then she gives a bit....then she realize that not big deal, or that maybe with time and experience may even become something she may enjoy......

She never masturbated in her life.....2 months ago, I gave her the first not penetration orgasms of her life....no comments like anyday....no much talk before or after...I always tell her to tell me how much she enjoy herself and me but not much talk there either.....so to me is difficult ......hundreds of nights where she went to sleep and i couldn't because we had an issue with our sex life and she just couldn't talk about it......year went by, we achieve financial stability and started to research our situation, and found out that there is a bunch of people like me and that by educating my wife, maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle.....

Well, it happened, and I think I should back off, and hope for the best....sometime I think is her lack of verbal communication with me....her lack of physical affection towards me that makes me want to have kinky sex with her so often....because i miss feeling close to her somehow.....anyways, last night we did not have sex but went to sleep cuddling ....was nice...she says that wants more of this...me too.....I'll let you know how things go.....

[Guest]

Tinyclitt, uggghhhh... to each their own of course but frankly I feel blessed that my boyfriend's cum is smooth and tasteless! BLACH!

I wasn't attracted to the idea of swallowing cum at first but luckily none of my previous partners had any "chunks" or weird consistencies or smells, so while I don't "enjoy" the actual act, I do enjoy giving my boyfriend pleasure and watching his reactions and being in the moment.

Does your wife know that you find a lot of pleasure in swallowing? I think one of the biggest motivators for a man or woman to do something in bed is knowing that they're bringing immense pleasure to their partner. So if by chance you haven't communicated what you want clearly enough, maybe your wife just doesn't know that you'd really like her to do this.

yes, she knows but argued that there are plenty of other things going on for me to obsessed about this.....and I quoted her.

[Elanor-Jane]

I don't think it's the end of the world if she won't do it. Sounds as though you have a good sex life now so I'd just be happy with that. The more you fixate the more it will get to you. For me personally it's just something I sometimes like doing when I'm in the mood, and after I've assessed consistency/ smell beforehand.

[Anne christelle]

I tried and threw up ... Not very sexy

[Guest]

I love this forum in another I would have been destroyed. Thanks for allow me to vent...I am a man that always, I mean always tell my wife and my daughters how beautiful I find them, how much happy having them in my life is....I always worry about my wife's needs.....I am a very generous lover.....I am used to give.....just want to have the same love back from my wife.....she has a hard time using words or getting close to me during the evenings...(how she was rised) so to me sex became the only way to get close to her being.....hopefully, now that we talked and were able to reach consensus about what to do, I hope in the future, I'll not need to have so much sex to feel wanted and loved....

[ItsASecret]

she has a hard time using words or getting close to me during the evenings...(how she was rised) so to me sex became the only way to get close to her being.

I am also a very quiet person by nature. I do not go into 2 hour conversations about my day, I rarely smile, I do not start conversations about anything, and I have a real hard time being involved in any conversation simply because I cannot come up with anything of value to add. We may seem like we are purposely being distant but it is just how us quiet people are or how we were raised. I still love my bf and your wife still loves you regardless of how long you talk for. Personally I cannot even react when he compliments me, I just sort of smile to acknowledge that I heard it but I do not get all teary-eyed or mushy lovey-dovey when something like that is said. Even if the women does not react in that emotional sense it does not mean she did not hear you or take the words to heart. We hear everything you men say to us, how we process it is different for all women. Just keep saying the words of love, she may not jump into your arms but that small smile in the corner of her mouth may be her way of saying thank you.

Try not to think that the all night conversations, or raunchy sex talk (if that subject is brought up) is the only way your wife will be able to show that she wants to be sexually close to you. I know you do not think it is the only way, but just try to avoid making it a forefront if her personality is that of a quiet woman. She may show you her closeness in other ways, like guiding your hand someplace but not saying a word (like taking your arm and putting it around her as you watch a movie), or maybe a moan or two, a sigh, a deep breath and so on during sex. A woman does not need to be screaming or throwing her arms out to embrace you to show that whatever you are doing is working, just pay attention to how she behaves and you will continue to have better experiences with her.

[junglefever]

I saw a tip somewhere one time..dont know if it woud defeat the purpose Im not a guy..but for starters even if she could start with giving you oral and letting you finish in her moth with a condom on...?I'm not sure how graphic we are allowed to get here Im new..but if she can deep thrust and you can ejaculate while she holds you deep in her mouth that could be one way to get some of the feeling you are looking for..At the very least it will give you the opportunity to experience having an orgasm in her mouth even if she isnt actually swallowing your semen.She could at least get some practice in on controlling her gag reflex..then if you really enjoy that ..you could by showing of "gratitude" LOL>>>maybe she will ease into trying it without the condom...but whatever you do I know you said you werent..but try not to tell her all the time how "dissapointed" you are with her sexually..it would be no different if the woman you loved and were being sexually vunerable too was going around being "sad" that you couldnt keep it up longer..or that you were in her opinion a lousy lay somehow..Like "thanks ..that was O.K but Im very very sad and disspointed you cant be all I want in bed"..thats a blow ..Im sure as bad or worse than you having to possibly give up that ONE act of sex...

What you want her to 'try" ..is not as easy as it sounds..for me its no different (honestly) than "getting over' being squeamish about swallowing his phlem out of his throat ..or mucous from his sinuses..its really that unapealing for some women.shes not being "selfish" ..and just witholding to be mean..Im sure of it..

[Guest]

I saw a tip somewhere one time..dont know if it woud defeat the purpose Im not a guy..but for starters even if she could start with giving you oral and letting you finish in her moth with a condom on...?I'm not sure how graphic we are allowed to get here Im new..but if she can deep thrust and you can ejaculate while she holds you deep in her mouth that could be one way to get some of the feeling you are looking for..At the very least it will give you the opportunity to experience having an orgasm in her mouth even if she isnt actually swallowing your semen.She could at least get some practice in on controlling her gag reflex..then if you really enjoy that ..you could by showing of "gratitude" LOL>>>maybe she will ease into trying it without the condom...but whatever you do I know you said you werent..but try not to tell her all the time how "dissapointed" you are with her sexually..it would be no different if the woman you loved and were being sexually vunerable too was going around being "sad" that you couldnt keep it up longer..or that you were in her opinion a lousy lay somehow..Like "thanks ..that was O.K but Im very very sad and disspointed you cant be all I want in bed"..thats a blow ..Im sure as bad or worse than you having to possibly give up that ONE act of sex...

What you want her to 'try" ..is not as easy as it sounds..for me its no different (honestly) than "getting over' being squeamish about swallowing his phlem out of his throat ..or mucous from his sinuses..its really that unapealing for some women.shes not being "selfish" ..and just witholding to be mean..Im sure of it..

Thanks for your words......what I am going to do is stop for a couple of months with all this talk and try to be the very best husband I can, and who knows may it happens - my thing is not thick and since I eat lots of fruits everyday, I am rather sweet....I think what my wife has is not disgust about my semen is just in her mind...like everything else in our marriage...she fights everything, don't have to tell you how difficult was to convince her letting me cum in her mouth, she wouldn't do it......to me was a terrible thing that a wife ask her husband to do it all and more, and she can't bring herself to try to make feel special...I just want to feel loved and wanted...

[junglefever]

Thanks for your words......what I am going to do is stop for a couple of months with all this talk and try to be the very best husband I can, and who knows may it happens - my thing is not thick and since I eat lots of fruits everyday, I am rather sweet....I think what my wife has is not disgust about my semen is just in her mind...like everything else in our marriage...she fights everything, don't have to tell you how difficult was to convince her letting me cum in her mouth, she wouldn't do it......to me was a terrible thing that a wife ask her husband to do it all and more, and she can't bring herself to try to make feel special...I just want to feel loved and wanted...

Your welcome.. I dont get it..so is she "letting you ' ejaculate in her mouth and just wont swallow? Or not letting you do it at all?Also ...I think you need to stop and ask your self..if you dont feel loved and wanted over that one thing...then I think maybe you also have some hang ups...For me it had nothing to do with not loving or wanting my husband..MANY women who love and adore thier husbands..and have great wonderful sex with them..are made physcially ill..or have a reasonable (if you ask me) mental aversion to swallowing a large amount in comparison to say spit when we kiss or even vaginal fluids left on your mouth of bodily fluids that I dont care what anyone says..is very similar in taste and TEXTURE to mucous..in fact I think its the same kind of stuff..the base fluid is made out of..

Everyone has a limit..I shouldnt tell my husband that if he wont give me oral sex while Im in the middle of my period because it woudl make me feel SO loved and accepted for him to swallow my uterine lining and unused egg???It would be no differnt if I said then he just doesnt make me feel loved and "special".Some guys woudl have no issue doing that..so it must be "all in his mind" therefore hes not really even trying.

Just becasue some other guys do it out of love even if they dont like it..or they happen to love it and go on abut how they would drink mentrual blood by the gallon if they could..doesnt mean that my husband "should' and not only "should " but really "like to do it"..

I think one of the problems is its a "staple" on porn..seriously ..its "not a big deal" its common..in reality?..it can be a big deal and often is for the average woman.So thne she is in the "hot seat as to come up with the answer to "whats the big deal".."all these other women do it and LOVE it!

[Ashlee T.]

jungle fever - couldn't agree with you more.

marcopoly, During and around ovulation, us ladies produce "cervical fluid". It is sometimes watery, it is sometimes thick and chunky, it is sometimes springy like eggwhites. This cervical fluid (commonly called discharge or mucous....) is the equivalent of your sperm because if we did not produce it, there would be no way for your sperm to make it's way to fertilize the egg. It's a vital part of reproduction, just like your semen is. Somewhere along the line in society it became an expectation of women to swallow the mans "fertile fluid". Nowhere along the line did it become expectation for a man to excrete a womans cervical fluid and ingest it. Why? And in many cases, it's not enough just to swallow it..... many guys want you to hold it on your tongue so they can see it, watch it drip out your mouth (like in porn....), want you to wipe it off yourself and eat it. To me, this expectation has been taken to a ridiculous level. Especially when in a relationship where one partner doesn't want to do it, the other partner feels unwanted and unloved as a result.

This same concept could apply to anything. What if it were anal sex that you so strongly wanted and she didn't? Does it mean she doesn't love you or want you because she doesn't want something painfully ramming in her exit? No, of course it doesn't. But you could say, "the fact that you won't do this makes me feel unloved...". Those kinds of guilt trips shouldn't be placed on someone you love.

With that said, if your marriage is suffering in other ways, having nothing to do with swallowing semen, that's a whole different issue and hopefully you will not miss the forrest (the true relationship issues) for the trees (wife not wanting to swallow)....