[junglefever]

I saw a tip somewhere one time..dont know if it woud defeat the purpose Im not a guy..but for starters even if she could start with giving you oral and letting you finish in her moth with a condom on...?I'm not sure how graphic we are allowed to get here Im new..but if she can deep thrust and you can ejaculate while she holds you deep in her mouth that could be one way to get some of the feeling you are looking for..At the very least it will give you the opportunity to experience having an orgasm in her mouth even if she isnt actually swallowing your semen.She could at least get some practice in on controlling her gag reflex..then if you really enjoy that ..you could by showing of "gratitude" LOL>>>maybe she will ease into trying it without the condom...but whatever you do I know you said you werent..but try not to tell her all the time how "dissapointed" you are with her sexually..it would be no different if the woman you loved and were being sexually vunerable too was going around being "sad" that you couldnt keep it up longer..or that you were in her opinion a lousy lay somehow..Like "thanks ..that was O.K but Im very very sad and disspointed you cant be all I want in bed"..thats a blow ..Im sure as bad or worse than you having to possibly give up that ONE act of sex...

What you want her to 'try" ..is not as easy as it sounds..for me its no different (honestly) than "getting over' being squeamish about swallowing his phlem out of his throat ..or mucous from his sinuses..its really that unapealing for some women.shes not being "selfish" ..and just witholding to be mean..Im sure of it..

[ItsASecret]

she has a hard time using words or getting close to me during the evenings...(how she was rised) so to me sex became the only way to get close to her being.

I am also a very quiet person by nature. I do not go into 2 hour conversations about my day, I rarely smile, I do not start conversations about anything, and I have a real hard time being involved in any conversation simply because I cannot come up with anything of value to add. We may seem like we are purposely being distant but it is just how us quiet people are or how we were raised. I still love my bf and your wife still loves you regardless of how long you talk for. Personally I cannot even react when he compliments me, I just sort of smile to acknowledge that I heard it but I do not get all teary-eyed or mushy lovey-dovey when something like that is said. Even if the women does not react in that emotional sense it does not mean she did not hear you or take the words to heart. We hear everything you men say to us, how we process it is different for all women. Just keep saying the words of love, she may not jump into your arms but that small smile in the corner of her mouth may be her way of saying thank you.

Try not to think that the all night conversations, or raunchy sex talk (if that subject is brought up) is the only way your wife will be able to show that she wants to be sexually close to you. I know you do not think it is the only way, but just try to avoid making it a forefront if her personality is that of a quiet woman. She may show you her closeness in other ways, like guiding your hand someplace but not saying a word (like taking your arm and putting it around her as you watch a movie), or maybe a moan or two, a sigh, a deep breath and so on during sex. A woman does not need to be screaming or throwing her arms out to embrace you to show that whatever you are doing is working, just pay attention to how she behaves and you will continue to have better experiences with her.

I love this forum in another I would have been destroyed. Thanks for allow me to vent...I am a man that always, I mean always tell my wife and my daughters how beautiful I find them, how much happy having them in my life is....I always worry about my wife's needs.....I am a very generous lover.....I am used to give.....just want to have the same love back from my wife.....she has a hard time using words or getting close to me during the evenings...(how she was rised) so to me sex became the only way to get close to her being.....hopefully, now that we talked and were able to reach consensus about what to do, I hope in the future, I'll not need to have so much sex to feel wanted and loved....

[Anne christelle]

I tried and threw up ... Not very sexy

[Elanor-Jane]

I don't think it's the end of the world if she won't do it. Sounds as though you have a good sex life now so I'd just be happy with that. The more you fixate the more it will get to you. For me personally it's just something I sometimes like doing when I'm in the mood, and after I've assessed consistency/ smell beforehand.

Tinyclitt, uggghhhh... to each their own of course but frankly I feel blessed that my boyfriend's cum is smooth and tasteless! BLACH!

I wasn't attracted to the idea of swallowing cum at first but luckily none of my previous partners had any "chunks" or weird consistencies or smells, so while I don't "enjoy" the actual act, I do enjoy giving my boyfriend pleasure and watching his reactions and being in the moment.

Does your wife know that you find a lot of pleasure in swallowing? I think one of the biggest motivators for a man or woman to do something in bed is knowing that they're bringing immense pleasure to their partner. So if by chance you haven't communicated what you want clearly enough, maybe your wife just doesn't know that you'd really like her to do this.

yes, she knows but argued that there are plenty of other things going on for me to obsessed about this.....and I quoted her.

I get what you are all saying and I'll get off the topic and stop asking for it......in my mind, when you love someone and grow together with time and experiences...then ,at least she should give it a try, which she hasn't, so that is what bothers me....anyway, she is upset since she believes that we need to enjoy what we have and not concetrate too much in what we don't have...it is easy for her to say it since 2 years ago, I didn't even know how her vagina looks like.....she wouldn't it let touch or finger her....and oral (let just say, I don't remember before when I ever gave her oral - she didn't want to)...anyway, to me is emotional since for her to give anything to our intimacy always have come to fighting, suffering and crying...then she gives a bit....then she realize that not big deal, or that maybe with time and experience may even become something she may enjoy......

She never masturbated in her life.....2 months ago, I gave her the first not penetration orgasms of her life....no comments like anyday....no much talk before or after...I always tell her to tell me how much she enjoy herself and me but not much talk there either.....so to me is difficult ......hundreds of nights where she went to sleep and i couldn't because we had an issue with our sex life and she just couldn't talk about it......year went by, we achieve financial stability and started to research our situation, and found out that there is a bunch of people like me and that by educating my wife, maybe we could meet somewhere in the middle.....

Well, it happened, and I think I should back off, and hope for the best....sometime I think is her lack of verbal communication with me....her lack of physical affection towards me that makes me want to have kinky sex with her so often....because i miss feeling close to her somehow.....anyways, last night we did not have sex but went to sleep cuddling ....was nice...she says that wants more of this...me too.....I'll let you know how things go.....

[mommaoftwo]

I dont have a problem with it. My hubbys is tastless and thin. If he has a few beers it taste different. I like it myself. I like what it does for him!!

[ItsASecret]

I have tried it, I greatly dislike it but I have continued to try and at the very least tolerate the taste to be able to let it drip out of my mouth but in 3 1/2 years I have been having sex I am still not able to have him completely finish in my mouth. My bf has the case of chunky, thick, salty, very pungent chlorine mass volume cum. When I say mass volume I mean fill your mouth, not this 1-2 tsp that is the thought of "average", no, it is about 1/4 cup nearly every time. When that amount is in your mouth while already not liking the taste or texture there is a real battle to be able to just try it. And changing diets does not equate a better tasting or texture of semen in all men. I told him to try drinking more water before sex, a day before, even over the course of a couple days to a week or more. Does not work. Tried the change in diet with a few weeks with much less red meat, much less coffee, eating better salads and chicken as well as greatly increasing the fruits. Did not work. His stuff just has a mind of it's own and it has decided that it will remain a large volume of chlorine smelling, salty, thick, chunky semen. I am not aroused by semen to begin with so there is no enjoyment for me besides the idea of him being pleased, but I have honestly tried my best to get used to it in my mouth though this is real tough. He sort of stopped asking if I would try to take it in the mouth again but recently he has been asking more and more. I let him know that I just cannot stomach it, the last thing I want to do is throw up because of it and there is a very good chance that will happen simply due to the taste and texture. I constantly let him know though that I have no problem with him finishing on my body, sure I smell like chlorine for awhile but I am honestly fine with the actual stuff on me because I know he likes to see it on me.

However if my bf ever started with the "well other girls do it so you should like it too", or "I am a guy I like to see that stuff happen so you should be doing it all the time no matter what it tastes like" then I would have a fit. I am not another woman, I am me, if you cannot accept your SO despite them trying things for you (even if it does not work the way you wanted it to) then maybe there needs to be a re-evaluation of the sex part of the relationship. Being pushy, nagging, and trying to use the "well other people love it so you should love it too" to guilt someone into doing something can create resentment and that is not an easy thing to overcome in the long run.

A male's perspective...

She tried it, didn't like it, so don't push it.

I assume that she knows it's a turn on for you, so be patient, be the very best lover you can be for her, and wait until she offers to try it again.

My SO is still pretty much a "non-swallower" for the most part and it has diminished in level of importance over the years that frankly, it's a pleasent surprise if/when it does occur. There is so much more to our intimacy and WE get so much more joy out of my ejaculating inside her.

BTW - Have you read the book "She Comes First" by Ian Kerner Ph.D ? I highly recommend it.