[Guest]

I bet that he doesn't have a really problem with porn

ALL evidence she has presented suggests otherwise.

in fact, your own observation:The fact is that he still has a sex drive and therefore is watching porn and masturbating to take care of that need. He does not feel the urge to go to his girlfriend of 3 years and have sex with her so he masturbates.

proves that he does have a problem. it's very likely NOT that he doesn't love her or even wants to love her, but that he has lost his ability to control that he loves porn more.

[scarlet]

Dear Loveisabattlefield,

I agree with Pixieduzt, I think it is time to move on. Don't dwell on the porn issue, because I don't think that it is having a direct effect on the fact your boyfriend does not want you sexually anymore. I know this may seem harsh but you really need to communicate how unhappy you are and make your choice on the outcome. If he will not discuss things with you, the relationship is probably not worth fighting for. As said earlier people grow apart and that is just part of life - move on.

Whilhelm - sorry but you need to get a grip. Ok you don't agree with porn but do you really think that is the only and main problem in this poor girls relationship? You simply cannot say that anyone who watches porn has a problem with it!

[GoodGuy]

ADD

Believe it or not, both frequent/excessive masturbation and video games are signs of adult ADD. Masturbation has been around a while longer than video games.

[Guest]

Whilhelm - sorry but you need to get a grip. Ok you don't agree with porn but do you really think that is the only and main problem in this poor girls relationship? You simply cannot say that anyone who watches porn has a problem with it!

hi scarlet. i can assure you my grip is rock solid.

even a surface inquiry into the empirical studies that have been done to disclose the impact porn has on viewers will reveal - very clearly - that disinterest in real sex is an altogether common side effect of compulsive use of porn for masturbation.

proclaiming that the guy has fallen out of love ignores the numerous other explanations that are much more likely to be at work.

i think that folks who watch porn are afraid to confront the irrefutable phenomena that give porn such a nasty reputation in our society - because in confronting those issues they will need to face the uncomfortable realization that they have accepted & embraced an unholsome & destructive thing.

and it's so much easier to dismiss the porn & just say the guy has other problems.

[Nahn]

My boyfriend of 3 years won't hug, kiss, or have sex with me. We have lived together for about 3 years now, but we took our relationship very slow. He does not want to spend time with me. This has been going on for over a year now. I thought it was just a phase and he would get over it. I figured he had just lost his sex drive. (I don't know how if that happens?) But recently I caught him looking at porn and masterbating. I don't care if he looks at it, or masterbates, but he lies about it...

Well, clearly he is not interested in you as a woman at the moment (or a year ago when you posted this message) for all the normal reasons: three-year's itch... etc. Is that end of the world? Nah! You can win him back and make him happy to be with you again - if you truly love him and want to have him back! First, you need to understand *why* he is behaving like he is: bored, tired of the 'meat and potato' healthy meal you provide and craving for 'candies' and something new. It's normal for anyone to feel like that after three years, when both of you are becoming 'neutral' partners, as opposed to man and woman. Porn is the perfect fantasy land where we (men and women) find things that we will never have in reality. Fantasy or craving for something new is healthy human nature! It's ludicrous to simply say 'don't go there' and negatively suppress what is naturally human! Then, what should you do? ---- *Join him!!!* Yes, be willing to participate in his fantasy, and believe or not, you might have some fun as well while you at it! ;-) Then, he would soon discover that you are no longer the 'healthy meal' he is trying so hard to avoid. Instead, you are a partner in his fantasy, or even better, a PART of his fantasy...!!! Need I say more????

[anonymouswhitefemale]

This was posted a year ago, do you honestly think the poster will read what you've written?

Look at the date before you post.

[Nahn]

This was posted a year ago, do you honestly think the poster will read what you've written?

Look at the date before you post.

No I didn't expect the original poster to actually read it, I just thought there are others who may relate to the topic, like I did! But I didn't mean to post twice... sorry! I can't find the delete button.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Well, generaly netiqeutte (internet etiquette, obviously) dictates that it's bad to post on old threads, there's far more recent conversations about this topic so just post in one of those.

Just a hint for the future eh..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Don't worry, Anon "hates" old threads, even if you see something that you can relate to.



Grumpy old man......

Oh no, he's young?



I'm sure someone will read what you wrote and answer....

haha. Anon -

CW

[Nahn]

Well, generaly netiqeutte (internet etiquette, obviously) dictates that it's bad to post on old threads, there's far more recent conversations about this topic so just post in one of those.

Just a hint for the future eh..

What's bad about it? These are timeless topics! Besides, look at now, it's a new thread again! The latest post is twenty seconds from now! You can't call this 'old' any more!!!

Thank you, CW!