[ItsASecret]

I don't think they mean spiritual type sex. More like teaching the person what the opposite sex things feels great. How to hit the gspot right, or how to mess with a girl clit right, how to give a great blowjob/ handjob, etc

There is unfortunately (for my bf and I at least) a huge amount that deal with the spiritual, sort of energy I guess you can say type books. Even if the whole book does not focus on the spirit/emotion side it will have the recommended physical techniques (like touching boobs or kissing the lips) that will ask a person to go into it like there is an actual energy involved. A few books will say like "kiss her and let her know the energy you feel and tell her it flows through your body" or some variation. My bf and I look at that and go, okay well I like kissing you but I do not see it as an energy flow like that we see it as enjoying each other. The problem is on my part, I take forever to get aroused, nothing is a switch so we look for material to read but then you also get the books that say the same thing over and over again, like...caress her she will get aroused (using synonyms of "caress" to make it seem new), kiss her leg she will get aroused, go gently she will get aroused. So you try it and its like well we already do this for a very long time when we have sex so what is the new part. Or the advice on tips, its again like move your tongue in a circle or up and down...k we did that before we even read things. Kinda frustrating when you read stuff and it is either skip it because we both do not go the spiritual way, or we have tried the lists of techniques prior to even reading it. I do wish there was a switch or exact method that work for everyone at any point in time lol.

[Alexandria.Sullivan]

Splitting up the "rounds" of sex between you, first time for him, second time for you, misses the boat

Like I said. We still have to work on it. I didn't say it was a solution. But it's ok for now.