[Ashlee T.]

Considering that your wife has cheated on you in the past more than once, I consider what she's doing borderline emotional abuse. You have allowed this woman to deflate your self esteem to the point that you truly believe you can't do any better for yourself. Why?

I'm not going to get into "size". That is NOT the issue here. The issue here is your wifes complete and utter disrespect for you. You are simply blaming it on your size. That's hogwash...though I'm sure she's considering herself lucky that she has made you believe that all this cheating and lack of respect is your fault due to your size. Yes...I'm sure she is glad you blame yourself...because she knows that a man with self esteem and self respect would have kicked her to the curb. It's time for you to get your self esteem and self confidence.

How does this woman show you she loves you? What does she do that makes you feel wonderful? We've already established you very rightfully don't trust her. I believe with no trust there IS NO relationship. But that aside, what else is there that makes this woman so worthy of being your wife?

[Troop]

Like I said, she cheated on me a LONG time ago, before we were married. It hurt like , but ask any woman, you really can't help who you love. And I love her, and I know she loves me. It's in the past and I've forgiven her. She hasn't cheated on me since we've been married and she claimed she didn't think about any of that when she friended him on FB, other than one of about 50 other people we both went to school with that we're friends on FB with. She had assumed that since nothing every happened between them that there would be no reason for me to even be upset.

As for my size, she's not the only one to say anything. My very first girlfriend, when she saw me for the first time told me to my face "Wow. You're nowhere NEAR as big as my last boyfriend!" And started cheating on me. Another girl I went to school with looked at me and asked "Where's your bulge?"

[Ashlee T.]

But you said you have no trust for her. So why did you marry her?

You still didn't answer my other questions......what is it about this woman that makes her worthy of being your wife? Does she make you feel loved and respected? Does she do special things for you to make you feel good? Does she build you up?

[Guest]

Another man's perspective who was cheated on numerous times in the past...

Yes, IMO, you're over reacting a bit. Because we've been cheated on, we will NEVER trust like others here who haven't been cheated on...that's just the way it is. What we MUST do is continue to try and trust our partners to the best of our ability each and every day.
It's easy to say and difficult to do (I know, I'm in a similar circumstance), but we must continue to try. It's just who we are...

As for your size, I'm not going to debate or discuss this with you since you have already made up your mind. What I will tell you is there are ways to turn yourself into the greatest lover she's ever known, and that's by learning all that you can.

A book I have suggested frequently in here is titled; She Comes First by Dr. Ian Kerner Ph.D It's a great book, IMO and my copy is dog eared I've read it so many times.

There are many other good books to read and there is quite a list of them in this forum...do a search.

I would also 'argue' that your concerns about your size amy be contributing to 'challenges' during physical intimacy. Maybe not to the point where you can't 'perform' but I bet it makes things more 'challenging' then they might otherwise be.

You can only be the best that you can be...and with a little help from some previously unknown resources, you can get there.

[cathy23]

Sizes of breasts, penises, or other body parts should NEVER be used as ammunition in an argument. Words once said in anger, can cut to the heart and linger for years.

[vancityguy]

do your self a favour , life is too short for stress drama and **** holes....go find a new girl. SO many people stay in relationships because its an easy habit , let her know she can't treat a person this way and leave..put your foot down.

[scottyboy]

Have you read your own post? "She's cheated on me repeatedly in the past." Not to sound harsh but maybe you should wake up and smell the coffee , exactly what are you getting out of this relationship? Love is not cheating and the size of your package should have nothing to do with the strength of your relationship.

[NubbinsUp]

If she cheated on you, it wasn't because you weren't big enough. You're wrong about that. If these incidents were way before you got married, but she had promised you exclusivity, then the cheated because she's dishonest. If it was way before you got married and she hadn't promised you exclusivity, then she wasn't cheating.

I'm very small, and it was a dealbreaker for some women who entered my life. For most it wasn't, and a couple would consider me among their best lovers. Not biggest, best. Get off the couch and mold yourself into a more magnificent person, and a better lover. Share yourself with your wife and please her beyond her dreams or resolve your differences with her and find a better woman.

As for fighting about anything related to Facebook, this entire post and your follow-up comments have spoof written all over them. Who over the age of 15 has hard feelings over anything to do with Facebook?

Yes, you asked for the opinions of women, and I'm not. However you also specified "impartial" opinions. Like anyone but your wife, her friends, and the bulge guy should comment. No one here on this Womens-Health site is partial in any way. None of them knows you in regular life.

[Little]

This thread is almost a year old - eek! But I have to jump in and say that it's terribly unkind to downplay Troop's emotions and imply that he's spoofing anybody when he's a long-term member whose issues and feelings have been laid out bare on more than one occasion - a poster whose problems are consistent. If you have issues with believability of posters in the future, the right thing to do is contact a moderator or admin. Calling somebody out in-thread is unnecessary and cruel - two things we don't like here. Until you can use PMs at 33 posts, you can contact me at support[at]womens-health[dot]com with any private concerns.

[NubbinsUp]

This thread is almost a year old - eek! But I have to jump in and say that it's terribly unkind to downplay Troop's emotions and imply that he's spoofing anybody when he's a long-term member whose issues and feelings have been laid out bare on more than one occasion - a poster whose problems are consistent. If you have issues with believability of posters in the future, the right thing to do is contact a moderator or admin. Calling somebody out in-thread is unnecessary and cruel - two things we don't like here. Until you can use PMs at 33 posts, you can contact me at support[at]womens-health[dot]com with any private concerns.

I appreciate the feedback. I acknowledged in my comment that the poster he sought the opinions of women, and, on that basis alone, I shouldn't have commented. Unkind and cruel though? This is a man whose posting and replies to comments indicate that he let emotion get in the way of happiness, self-improvement, better relationships, and achievement of realistic objectives. I don't say that it is a spoof, but several aspects of it offer clear red flags that it may be. For Troop, I offer: "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." (Abraham Lincoln) I'll adhere to moderator guidance. They're good rules.