[Yamimi]

My fiance & I only had sex twice since we rang in the New Year. We've talked about it a few times. Part of the problems are that he believes it's "easier to masturbate" and I'm too shy/scared to initiate sex. I'm not really sure how to get past my shyness or being worried about doing something wrong. In the past when I tried, I either got tired too quickly or he wasn't in the mood. So, I'm not really sure where we're suppose to meet eye to eye. Sometimes I feel like I'm too boring cause I don't know what to do anyway, but I try.

[Joe77]

If he says it's "easier to masturbate" that brings up a million questions.

I could see myself saying that, but that's because my wife has next to no libido at the moment. If you're willing, maybe you need to just have a few drinks to relax, and jump on him!

However, his comment still gives me a little pause. Did you ask him WHY he feels that way?

[Yamimi]

He kinda "hums" and "uhs" over it when I ask, but I'm pretty sure it's either because he doesn't get off during sex, or he gets tired too like I do. I think why we get exhausted during sex is because we don't do it often enough. Yes, we're a bit out of shape too, but sex is great exercise!(not that I ever said that to him lol)

When I ask he doesn't give me direct answers because he's probably embarrassed. It's not that he isn't attracted to me because we still kiss hug & cuddle it's just there's no sex.

[jns]

Sex doesn't require a major workout. Some positions require very little physical work.

[Yamimi]

be nice to know which ones..

[jns]

Spooning is one, scissors is another.

[jns]

Cross and variations on it are also good for energy conservation. While looking these up to make sure I had the right names, I came across a site that gives what I consider a relatively complete listing: Google [sexinfo101].

[Joe77]

I've never been successful with spooning. It seems the angle is awkward and I need to be about 3 inches longer to make it work...and I'm average-sized. Maybe me and every partner I've tried it with are just uncoordinated.

I've never asked my wife to try (I only tried with prior girlfriends) but hmmm...

[busymom3696]

Not having enough sex seems to be a pretty common problem (although doing it only twice in four months seems to be rather extreme). We are talking about this issue in another thread too. That discussion is about using a somewhat non-traditional (and apprantly controversial) tool to help with the problem. lol

[Stillness]

I've never been successful with spooning. It seems the angle is awkward and I need to be about 3 inches longer to make it work...and I'm average-sized. Maybe me and every partner I've tried it with are just uncoordinated.

The angles are awkward, especially if you have a gut, but it works. Average is enough, i just find i have to be patient. It's. A pretty lazy, low energy technique once you get it going, but getting it going takes work.