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  • Joe77
    Member
    • May 2012
    • 50

    I found with an ex that without her being VERY lubricated it just got frustrating and she gave up and stopped letting me try.

    Comment

    • Stillness
      WH Poster of the Month April 2017
      • Feb 2012
      • 3679

      Originally posted by Joe77
      without her being VERY lubricated it just got frustrating
      I know the feeling as I've been tempted to give up on this one, but it works. I've got a belly and am not hung like a horse. It's a team effort. Somebody has to angle the penis and the other has to open the lips. Sometimes i use my finger as a guide and slide in alongside of it. It's worth the trouble. It gives a unique kind of access that other positions don't have, like the ability to easily kiss your wife's back at the same time you stimulate her breasts or clitoris. It's wild stuff. The variety is nice.
      "Those sowing seed with tears
      Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

      Comment

      • Joe77
        Member
        • May 2012
        • 50

        Originally posted by Stillness
        I know the feeling as I've been tempted to give up on this one, but it works. I've got a belly and am not hung like a horse. It's a team effort. Somebody has to angle the penis and the other has to open the lips. Sometimes i use my finger as a guide and slide in alongside of it. It's worth the trouble. It gives a unique kind of access that other positions don't have, like the ability to easily kiss your wife's back at the same time you stimulate her breasts or clitoris. It's wild stuff. The variety is nice.
        Well. So much for asking the wife to try it then.

        (You saw my other thread, right??)

        Comment

        • Stillness
          WH Poster of the Month April 2017
          • Feb 2012
          • 3679

          Originally posted by Joe77
          (You saw my other thread, right??)

          I responded to your other thread. I think you're overthinking the whole thing. Talk to your wife, man. She deserves to know what you feel.
          "Those sowing seed with tears
          Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126

          Comment

          • Yamimi
            Member
            • Feb 2011
            • 52

            I think I just have to wait it out & see. Like I said, part of the problem is me not being able to initiate, and maybe he just got tired of being the first one starting all the time.

            Comment

            • DreamP346
              • Oct 2011
              • 2053

              Was your relationship always like this. If not, it just might be the stress of getting engaged. Are there any other changes in your life?

              You really do need to talk about it with your fiance. If you are going to spend the rest of your life together, you need to be able to have an open dialogue with him. I know its not easy talking about sex, but relationships are hard and you need to put a lot of effort into it, oftening doing thinks that are out of your comfort zone.

              If you are not ready/comfortable talking to him about sex and that your needs are, then you really need to ask yourself if you are ready for marriage.
              Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

              Comment

              • Yamimi
                Member
                • Feb 2011
                • 52

                Nah, in the beginning we had sex a lot more. It might be stress, sure. I've tried to talk to him about my needs but it seems like he doesn't really want to openly talk about anything. So, maybe he's the one who's not ready. I'll never know for sure if he doesn't start working with me in these conversations. Rarelym they even are conversations. I tell him how I feel and that's pretty much it. Even if I flat out ask if there's anything different I can do. I never get a direct answer from him. It's just more or less "I don't know."

                Comment

                • DreamP346
                  • Oct 2011
                  • 2053

                  Yamimi,
                  I think its time you put your foot down. If you are making all the effort in starting a dialogue and he is just trying to avoid the topic, think what the rest of your life together will be like when it comes to the difficult decisions.
                  "I hate my job, should I quit?" "I don't know"
                  "There is a problem with the pregnancy, do we terminate or go through with it?" "I don't know"
                  "Your mother wants to move in with us?" "I don't care"

                  You need to tell him that you are not going to take "I don't know" any more. Yes, there is a lot people don't know, but its not the amount of knowledge that is the issue. Its the lack of motivation to even do anything about it. Since he doesn't seem to be one to take the initiative, you need to be give concrete choices:
                  1) we sit together and talk this opening as a 2 way conversation
                  2) we go see a couples counsellor and get some help to help us resolve this
                  3) you are not ready for marriage. We can't think about the rest of our lives together until we figure out how to resolve difficulties together since that is the foundation of a marriage
                  Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

                  Comment

                  • Yamimi
                    Member
                    • Feb 2011
                    • 52

                    Well we finally got around to talking about it. Turns out he hasn't been really that attracted to me since I've gained weight ._.;

                    Wonderful

                    So now I have to think of a plan to lose weight.

                    Comment

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