[JanieMarie]

juzstop,

I'm so glad you two are having such a wonderful experience. 26 days is quite an accomplishment! It's too bad that so many couples dismiss chastity play out of hand as something "too kinky" for them. In reality any couple can enjoy chastity play without adding any BDSM elements (unless they want to). Kudos to you and your very impressive wife. Keep having fun!

PS Now that you've smashed the week record, I wonder what new goal she'll set for you....

[JackbNimble]

Found this to be quite interesting. Though my wife has never mentioned having an issue with my masterbation habits, I think this would definitely be a fun way to curb it and lead to better sex. How would anyone recommend bringing up the idea with my wife?

[JanieMarie]

Very carefully...

Found this to be quite interesting. Though my wife has never mentioned having an issue with my masterbation habits, I think this would definitely be a fun way to curb it and lead to better sex. How would anyone recommend bringing up the idea with my wife?

If you think male chastity play would be a fun thing to try just to spice things up then that's all you really have to say to her. In fact, you might point her to this very forum and say, "Wow, I had no idea this sort of thing existed but it sounds kind of fun. How about it, fancy being my keyholder for a weekend?" If you don't want her to find your posts on here then there are other good forums and articles floating around. I know there is a great one on GwenInLove (when on the site just do a search for "chastity").

I know that Sarah Jameson has written books about how to introduce chastity play to a spouse, although I haven't read them. If your wife is shocked by your idea and isn't up for it then you can't (and shouldn't try to) force her. But all is not lost. Sometimes all you need to do is plant the idea and let it mature and in her own time she'll come asking you about it. Of course, many wives aren't shocked at all and are all to glad to get their little hands on those brass keys. Good luck!

[physicsnerd]

Well, I can see how a chastity device would physically deter masturbation, so that he reserves his energy for intercourse with you, and, also, it might encourage more sexual activity between y'all if it creates an enjoyable sexual situation that is discretely ongoing. If he finds it arousing, the pseudo-control it gives you lies in that, if he wants sexual gratification, it has to be with you. I don't think there is anything wrong with using a chastity device to create sexual opportunities for the two of you. It is a form of BDSM, however, and both of you need to be comfortable with that.

Now, I guess my question to you would be, why do you even view the masturbation as a problem? And, I don't say that to sound judgmental, I think it might be worthwhile for you to explore why you think it even contributes to decreased intimacy at all.

Men's sexual drives are usually exponentially greater than women's. So, unless he's expending energy by masturbating that could realistically be devoted to you, and that is taking away from y'all's intimacy, he's probably just alleviating sexual tensions that cannot otherwise be resolved. For instance: y'all are at work, y'all get home, y'all tend to your children and make dinner (whatever your evening routine is) and, he goes to the bathroom or to your bedroom and masturbates while you are otherwise occupied. By the time the evening draws to a close and both of you even have an opportunity for intimacy, masturbating much earlier shouldn't really take anything away from your encounter, if, when y'all do have the opportunity for intimacy, that aspect of your and his relationship is satisfactory.

Maybe I'm reading your post wrong but, if I understand you correctly, think about it this way. Let's say your metabolism is much faster than his so, you eat breakfast together, then you have a mid-morning snack, then lunch, then you eat a small sandwich in the afternoon. You get home to find he's fixed supper, which is great because you're starving, then, he finds out that you had a sandwich at three and, he gets a little put off. Or, he thinks that you're eating way too often and it's taking away from y'all's dinners together. What's it to him? If you're hungry, why is it a problem?

I hope that makes sense. Best of luck.

[JanieMarie]

Well, I can see how a chastity device would physically deter masturbation, so that he reserves his energy for intercourse with you, and, also, it might encourage more sexual activity between y'all if it creates an enjoyable sexual situation that is discretely ongoing. If he finds it arousing, the pseudo-control it gives you lies in that, if he wants sexual gratification, it has to be with you. I don't think there is anything wrong with using a chastity device to create sexual opportunities for the two of you. It is a form of BDSM, however, and both of you need to be comfortable with that.

Now, I guess my question to you would be, why do you even view the masturbation as a problem? And, I don't say that to sound judgmental, I think it might be worthwhile for you to explore why you think it even contributes to decreased intimacy at all.

Men's sexual drives are usually exponentially greater than women's. So, unless he's expending energy by masturbating that could realistically be devoted to you, and that is taking away from y'all's intimacy, he's probably just alleviating sexual tensions that cannot otherwise be resolved. For instance: y'all are at work, y'all get home, y'all tend to your children and make dinner (whatever your evening routine is) and, he goes to the bathroom or to your bedroom and masturbates while you are otherwise occupied. By the time the evening draws to a close and both of you even have an opportunity for intimacy, masturbating much earlier shouldn't really take anything away from your encounter, if, when y'all do have the opportunity for intimacy, that aspect of your and his relationship is satisfactory.

Maybe I'm reading your post wrong but, if I understand you correctly, think about it this way. Let's say your metabolism is much faster than his so, you eat breakfast together, then you have a mid-morning snack, then lunch, then you eat a small sandwich in the afternoon. You get home to find he's fixed supper, which is great because you're starving, then, he finds out that you had a sandwich at three and, he gets a little put off. Or, he thinks that you're eating way too often and it's taking away from y'all's dinners together. What's it to him? If you're hungry, why is it a problem?

I hope that makes sense. Best of luck.

I love the analogy! Yes you're right, masturbation isn't a problem until it becomes a problem. As long as he is able to give her what she needs then there's nothing wrong with him sating his excess appetite. The problem happens when he gets hooked and can't stop or even cut back. In your analogy it would be like stopping on the way to work for a second breakfast, then getting lots of candy at the vending machines after lunch, then stopping for fast food on the way home so that he has no appetite for the wonderful, healthy dinner that was lovingly prepared for him.

[elyon82]

I am a 30 year old guy and in a committed relationship and my girlfriend and I have been using chastity to help me control madturbation.
I had a very difficult time being able to orgasm with my girlfriend and a matter a fact before her I never had a orgasm outside of me masturbating myself. I have been masturbating constantly since I was 10 years old 3-8 times a day. This chastity device saved our relationship it takes time to break a habit. I wore it for 3 weeks and I finally felt sensation from sex and it was so awesome to have an orgasm inside her. It was 20 times better than madturbation. She started having me not wear it and I cheated and masturbated and the next time we had sex I wasn't able to achieve an orgasm. I since wore it again for almost a month and had a great orgasm. Now I am still wearing the chastity device in between when we have sex. I hate wearing it but our sex is so much better I have stronger erections, and way better orgasms when I don't waste them on masturbation. The other side notes are very true I do am to please my girlfriend everyday, and in return she does the same to me. Whether its back massages, foot massages, laundry, cooking dinner, kissing passionately, giving her complaints. I have to say at first she hated the idea because she felt it was weird, we aren't into whips, chains, hand cuffs, bondage, toys, or even porn (now for me). It like we are first dating every single day -who doesn't want that feeling. I hear my friends wives complain they never have sex and dont have any attention paid to them, my friends will go out for beers or play video games all night instead if playing with their wives. I feel sorry for them and I wish I could tell them how much of a benefit wearing the cb6000 chastity device has been. I know a lot of people think this topic is weird and not right, but guys its horrible at first relying on your gf or wive for sex when if we got turned down or didn't want to put in the effort we could just masturbate it forces you to show your wife/gf how much she means to you each and everyday. As far as women's perspective I have no idea what women want, but it makes my gf happy knowing how much I love her everyday, when she's ready I am always ready, she actually wants sex more now, nobody likes a begger so if I beg instead of romancing I have to wait longer, she doesn't take a power trip at all, we treat each other how we both want to be treated. I have masturbated 2 times in the past 6 months. So couples try it out, you can still be normal and have fun with it.