[Aprilily]

I think you need to try to speak with her about this-tell her what you've told us. " I still love her, It just doesn't feel like our relationship anymore. It doesn't even feel like a relationship anymore" It doesn't seem it is your relationship anymore-the rules were changed and you were not made privy to it until after it happened. Just be honest with her.
You've done nothing wrong, so don't beat yourself up.

[DreamP346]

This is a tough one. Different belief can work as long as they are not drastically opposed in views. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Will your gf always be Christian or is this just a phase she is going through?
Are you willing to give up all sexual activities (even by yourself) until you get married which may be many years from now?
Are you willing to be be in a relationship with a person who views sex as something dirty and only to be engaged in for procreation?
If you don't follow her choices regarding sex, will your gf accept the choices you make, ie masturbating, being more physicial before marriage, engaging and enjoying sex after marriage?
You will probably always be an outsider within her church friends. Can you deal with that?
Will your gf require you to convert to get married?

Ask yourself these questions and the answer regarding the future of this relationship may become obvious.

[Rayn1124]

Communication Is the key to relationships. I believe in God but struggle with religion because its pretty screwed up in my eyes. If she loves you she will respect how you feel about the bible. Sometimes you have to let a person go to find yourself and vise versa. It may be good or bad, but its a chance you have to take just like the chance your taking with her and going to classes. I have lived with the same man for 5years and we are barely getting married. I wear guilt on my shoulds because im living in sin, any sex before marriage is sin, and thats her guilt, which is so understandable. So my question to you is do you love her enough to stick by her side through all of this, if not its best to make it known or it can get super ugly. My brother who is christian and his ex wife who was Muslim fought about religion all the time. Its stressful but I wish you and your gf the very best. Goodluck!

[Stillness]

I went through something similar. I wasn't an atheist, but I was in a transition from agnosticism to developing a relationship with God. My girlfriend was further along. She wanted to live by Christian standards, but was torn by her feelings for me. I didn't see a problem with sex - at least not enough to stop. We broke up a lot. It was very frustrating. I felt like love was enough and it was unfair to stop after we had already been intimate. I eventually saw things God's way and married her.

It's works because we're on the same page. Knowing what I know now, if I weren't married, I would never waste my time with someone who doesn't believe what I do. It's just too much work making a marriage work without trying to deal with a partner with a completely different set of values. That's just from a practical standpoint. Also, if your girlfriend is really going to do things biblically, following Christian law means not marrying a nonbeliever anyway. I'd strongly consider the long-term prospects for happiness in that kind of a relationship.

And the Bible does not teach that sex is dirty and only for procreation or forbid sex for pleasure. It encourages it.

[KMonte85]

KMonte, I do not see her requirement as particularly brazen. It is just how she now feels. At least she is up front with it and it is before marriage. In marriage, one partner sometimes unilaterally changes the rules affecting the other and expects the rest of the rules to stay rigidly in place. That usually causes problems. Compromising should usually be done unless the partner no longer wants the relationship or they absolutely know it is not a major problem for the other.

We're going to have to agree to disagree here, jns. I find it very brazen of her to suddenly stop all physical intimacy, and I'm not only talking sex - the OP mentioned cuddling and kissing, specifically. I find it brazen of her to demand that he not masterbate. I find it brazen that she disrespects his religious views and pressures him to convert. ALL of this obviously without even considering her boyfriend's feelings or point of view. While I wholeheartedly agree that compromise must be a part of any good relationship, I don't see any compromise here. She's made strict demands of him, based on her newfound faith (which he does not share), and he can either like it or lump it so it seems.

Guy, your options seem to be either accept her new faith and follow suite, or leave the relationship now so you may each find someone who is more "in tune" with your own moral and philosophical beliefs.

[Stillness]

I don't see any compromise here

How would you compromise on something you feel is wrong? You can't half-way have sex or sexual contact. If she doesn't want to be with someone who masturbates, how is that wrong? It is a tough line for her to take, but changing your life almost always means being tough - with yourself and with people in your life who don't want you to change. It would be like a couple using drugs together, but then one suddenly wants to be clean. The one wanting to turn their life around couldn't compromise and use a little and they probably would not want to be in a close relationship with someone else who is using. It wouldn't make them brazen. It depends on the approach. She probably loves him, but just doesn't want to do something wrong in God's eyes.

[DreamP346]

And the Bible does not teach that sex is dirty and only for procreation or forbid sex for pleasure. It encourages it.

Stillness, I have known lots of cases of people who are taught by their religion that sex is dirty and only to be engaged in for procreation. Not saying the bible teaches that. Organized religion does.

But just out of curiosity, and I appologize for going off topic, and I could be totally wrong since I haven't read the entire bible, but I do recall some type of passage about sex being sinful or wrong. But because we can't control out urges, men and women should engage in it only with their spouses. I'll have to look up the book I read it in when I get home tonight.

[BabyGirl]

Reading between the lines here and I maybe wrong..
Could she possibly be looking for " marriage ".

It's wrong to have sex or sexual contact when Not Married , her belief .
But once Married it will be ok ?

Since you said you go/have gone, to her Church to support her. Maybe talk with the Pastor/ Preacher ? Ask them what their religion says about Pre Marital sex and Post Marital sex.

[KMonte85]

How would you compromise on something you feel is wrong? You can't half-way have sex or sexual contact. If she doesn't want to be with someone who masturbates, how is that wrong? It is a tough line for her to take, but changing your life almost always means being tough - with yourself and with people in your life who don't want you to change. It would be like a couple using drugs together, but then one suddenly wants to be clean. The one wanting to turn their life around couldn't compromise and use a little and they probably would not want to be in a close relationship with someone else who is using. It wouldn't make them brazen.

If she wants to be Christian, that is absolutely her right. What is NOT her right is to disrespect her significant other. We're all entitled to our own paths in life, to follow whatever faiths (or not) which we choose. guy's girlfriend is not wrong in becoming a Christian, but she certainly shouldn't expect that her changing the dynamics of their relationship will not have any repercussions. He came here because he feels guilty about having thoughts of ending the relationship. I'm saying there's nothing to feel guilty about. She made her choice, she chose the path of Christian God, and it seems unless he does the same, it's not going to work. He shouldn't feel like a bad person because he then makes his own choice in life, that being he DOESN'T believe in the Christian faith, he DOESN'T believe that cuddling before marriage or masturbation is wrong.

I find your drug addiction analogy interesting. Lets looks at your hypothetical situation in a different way. Let's say two very healthy people are living a happy, healthy, pleasant life together and one suddenly succumbs to drug addiction. Does the other necessarily have to start "drinking the kool-aid" too?

Or can that person decide that their partner's addiction to mind altering substances, and subsequent changed behavior, is just too much and move on?

She probably loves him, but just doesn't want to do something wrong in God's eyes.

What would you have him do? Convert to a religion he's well versed in, and still doesn't believe, to appease her? Or should he be honest with himself and her? That is the point I'm making.

[Stillness]

Stillness, I have known lots of cases of people who are taught by their religion that sex is dirty and only to be engaged in for procreation.

Yeah, I always hear this, but never from the actual Christian. It's always from someone who heard it from somebody. I'm sure you're exposed to a lot more case studies than I am. And I don't doubt there's probably some Victorian era values still lurking here and there, but that's more cultural. I've never heard of a faith that taught this. If it has it's probably an isolated church. My guess is it's something somebody's mother told them so they'd keep it in their pants. Any modern church is more likely to encourage a healthy sex life within a marriage. Calling sex dirty would be calling the Creator of it dirty. I've heard some crazy things from various churches, I've just never heard one go this far.

But because we can't control out urges, men and women should engage in it only with their spouses.

Your passage is 1 Corinthians 7. Check it out. It's speaks against sex outside of marriage, not sex itself. The action that those who can't control themselves should take is to marry as that is the acceptable outlet for sexual expression.