[Tough&Sassy83]

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First I should note I've always been a slight femdom, and do enjoy power and control over boys. I've played the dominant role many times during my past sexual relationships, but have never completely made a man submit until my current boyfriend. Yes I basically enjoy it, but do really miss the occasion when a guy forces me into submission despite my best efforts.

The problem is we are both sexually competitive and both get off on the sense of sexual competition. So, we aren't always satusfied with the sweet, mutual moment, loving type of sex. We both are aroused by domination and submission. The thing is - he never dominates and (even when he's tried) I'm never close to submitting. It's all come to a head recently - it seems the harder he submits, the more submissive he becomes. Obviously that's been frustrating to us both.

He has been used to being dominant with other women, and on the flip side (as I said above) I'd like to dominate but still know my partner can occasionally put moves on me that are dominant enough to make me submit. It just shouldn't be so one sided IMO. So I challenged him to try harder to withstand my moves and dominate me on occasion. At first he was defensive but earlier tonight he challenged me to a showdown tonight.

Seems logical I shouldn't try to dominate tonight very much. But that wouldn't be fair to either of us. So...I plan to expose all his current weaknesses and see if he can withstand it. But it's sad lately - he can't handle a certain pair of my heels (says they weaken him), he can't handle when my makeup looks good during sex and there's other stuff that's too personal. We'll see what happens, but I'm not giving in, and I will bust out my big girl heels that have conquered him. He needs to dominate me at my best.

Not that anybody cares, but I will update this thread after with vague results.

[Tough&Sassy83]

A promising start ended up another complete wipeout...very disappointing. was his face

What's worse is he got mad at me for lmao that he was sprawled naked to my feet, and mad that I pressed the sharp heels of my shoes against his "weak" spots. Two words - SORE LOSER

[Tough&Sassy83]

Hes a really great guy except this - he just doesn't turn me on sexually ever. I've been really patient but I'm gonna ask to take a couple weeks apart.

I feel sorry for him i seriously do.

[Tahoe]

As a femdom you need to get him out of wanting to control you. Once you conturol him make him do anything, if you know what I mean. A lot of guys really like to be controlled. It's a turn on for them.

[rosekitten]

Honestly, you sound a lot like me. I don't get dominated, but I like when my husband tries. lol The reality is that not all men are good switches, and for some of us it takes a lot to be dominated. He can physically restrain me, but it's pretty much meaningless because he releases me on command. If you truly want to be dominated, you might need to find someone else. However, I like ordering my husband to dominate me (and do it well), but it means that I'm ultimately still in control, which is how I like it.

[rcoreyus]

Are you possibly topping from the bottom? Wanting him to dominate you, but still wanting to be in control? Have you told him you really want to be dominated, and for him to do whatever he wants with you - though of course keeping a safeword in emergencies?

[darcdante]

Are you possibly topping from the bottom? Wanting him to dominate you, but still wanting to be in control? Have you told him you really want to be dominated, and for him to do whatever he wants with you - though of course keeping a safeword in emergencies?

Yep.

But look. Men are so afraid of charges of "rape" they don't even realize it. Women send mixed messages. They want a man to dominate them in the bedroom, but a recent study shows that happy marriages are the one where the wife is dominant. Well no ****! Angry wives are a pain in the ****! So men get used to just saying "yes, dear," including in the bedroom.

You want a more dominant man in the bedroom? Then let him choose the freaking restaurant, and don't whine about it. Not before, and not after. So don't say, "Eh...I don't like that place." or "OMG, my meal was soooo cold!" Don't ***** about his driving on the way there either. Let him act like - dare I say it! - a MAN! And act like he actually got it RIGHT!

Look at it this way: men just want their woman to be happy. Women care about that and everything else. If he thinks you're happy, then he's more likely to act masculine. Making a woman happy is what makes a man feel like a man. Let it translate that way outside of the bedroom, and it will work itself into the bedroom. Women expect men to turn off their submissiveness once their **** is hard. It kinda works that way, but not really...being horny isn't the same as being dominant.

[Stillness]

a recent study shows that happy marriages are the one where the wife is dominant. Well no ****! Angry wives are a pain in the ****! So men get used to just saying "yes, dear," including in the bedroom.

So, in your opinion, unless a woman is dominant and her husband says "yes, dear" she is an angry wife?

I'd like to see the study. It sounds like nonsense to me. For years I've been observing families, often in the home. In marriages where the wife appears to be the one running things there is often a great deal of unhappiness. I've come home many a day telling my wife about the weird dynamics in other peoples relationships. I'm trained to provide financial services, not psychological ones. So, I'm sure I'm seeing different things than someone studying social dynamics. And I know that, as in my home, women tend to control finances. But there is a differnce between a partnership and a relationship in which someone is dominating. In the cases where I sit down with a woman who is running the show, she is often unhappy with her man and her life, and shows it in her choices if she doesn't verbally tell me (which she often does). When I sit down with a husband and a wife that are working as a team, they tend to appear happier and are typically more successful (at least in every measure that an outside observer would be able to see).

[CHANDLERS WISH]

How can you call this guy a sore looser?
Did you every discuss what you wanted? And boundries, and he agreed?

Sounds to me, no offense that you had expectations but did not discuss your thoughts with him, to dsee if he was a match.

If he does not turn you on sexually ever, and you do your thing and he does not like it, suggest to me that you guys never spoke about your sexuality.

Simple.

Don't put a person down though that does not meet your needs if you never discussed it, that does not make sense.

[JanieMarie]

I think you nailed a current dissatisfaction in many women today. On some level we crave being dominated in bed and all that 50 Shades stuff. However, on some other level we desire to be in control and not lose our autonomy. Some women resolve this tension by "switching" as was mentioned. That means alternating who is the dominant partner in bed. Other women solve it by having two men, one dominant and one submissive.

I see myself as dominant and I definitely agree that a man who is too easy to conquer does not satisfy my needs for a challenge. In the end I always like to win, to bring the man under my control and compel him to submit. But I like that to be an adventure, a challenge. If your guy isn't capable of rising to this challenge then I would get him in chastity as soon as possible (start with a ******* device and move up from there) and start looking for a new guy.