[LoveYourLife]

Hi everyone,

This is my first time posting here. I need help making sense of my boyfriends sexual fantasy.

Basically, we both decided to spice things up in the bedroom by indulging each others fantasies. The conversation was open and honest, which I'm happy about. It's just that his fantasy seems pretty weird to me to say the least.

Basically, he fantasizes about me wrestling/fighting other girls. Specifically, he fantasizes about me fighting/wrestling and losing to other girls. Right off the bat I found this pretty strange, but I didn't want to shut him down right away when we were being honest so I asked him fantasized about me losing. He said that he didn't know exactly, but that he thinks it's because he finds me sexier when I'm being dominated. We don't actually do any type of domination in the bedroom either way, we actually have pretty normal/standard sex, no crazy positions, which is why we both wanna spice things up. He said that what he meant about seeing me dominated was that he likes how during our sex he is the one that's in control and I basically follow his lead. I realize that's not really 'domination' in the traditional way, but you know what I mean? I actually like that aspect about our sex as well, so that eased my mind a little.

Anyways, I set up some boundaries. I told him that while I hated to sound like a prude I definitely wasn't up for doing any type of arranged IRL fighting anytime soon. That was just wayy to far out of my comfort zone right now. He was really understanding about it and very sweet. However, I didn't want to completely shut him down so we talked about it more and came up with a compromise that he suggested.

It would basically be a role playing fantasy where I pretend to fight another girl, like literally shadow box. He would basically act as my 'corner' would in a boxing match, pretending to fix me up (except we would also do some type of foreplay stuff) between rounds, and eventually I would pretend to get KO'd. Where he would then rush to my aid and 'tend to my wounds' and 'console' me. (Basically like a doctor/nurse type sex fantasy).

We're supposed to try it out soon. It's not that I'm completely against it, but I'm just a little apprehensive. Is this normal? I guess that's a stupid question for a fantasy, but I wanted to know if anyone else has a BF with a similar fantasy, or if anyone has done anything similar to indulge their partner? I've just never really even contemplated, let alone heard of, anything like this before.

Normally, when I see people post/talk about fantasies they somewhat unique, but also somewhat generic. This one is like completely out of left field, at least in my mind.

I really want to be as accommodating as possible to my BF's sexual interests. I just can't help but to find this one a bit... strange or weird? lol

I almost think I would have been in less shock over a threesome!

I think part of it too is that I've never really done any role playing before so I'm afraid my acting may seem inauthentic, which may ruin it. Also, since it's not my idea and I'm not exactly sure what he's expecting or how I should act during the entire thing I'm afraid I'll be awkward and it will really show.

I guess a last question would be if anyone has any ideas on how to work with the roleplay material to make it really hot for him? Like any suggestions about stuff that you think he would really like to see or get him going? . If not then I guess I'm just going to have to use my own instincts and his guidance.

Thanks for any input!

[Quest]

I have seen naked girl wrestling but it's not very erotic to me. What you plan on doing sounds pretty bizzare, not in a sexually deviant way but simply odd.

I bet he has a BDSM fetish but won't say it directly, it would be a lot easier to let him dom you directly then this odd scheme.

[rcoreyus]

There is nothing wrong with any fantasy you can both enjoy and that doesn't injure anyone. People have lots of fantasies, this isn't any more unusual than most - though somewhat impractical to act out. I really can't think of any easy way to make this work - though shadow boxing is a clever idea.

I suppose you could put on a porno that features women wrestling - then pretend to be the looser.

Does he enjoy being the one dominating you? Does he want to pretend to be a woman who is dominating you?

In any case its nice of you to try to make this work for him, but it doesn't sound easy to do.

[darcdante]

This is cute!

Is it normal to shadowbox against another chick and throw the fight? Nah, not really, but it's cute. Here's my take:

Your guy likes to see you dominated. This isn't uncommon in sexual relations. I don't care what the feminists say, women like to be dominated in the bedroom. In fact, I've found they HATE it when a guy won't take the initiative.

I also think men have been pussified quite a bit. Our natural urges are for men to be dominant and for women to be submissive. Society is telling men to be submissive (except in porn, which is often over-the-top and causes men to be insecure due to humongous penises). But, in general, men are no longer the warriors they used to be.

Your guy likes to see you be submissive, but he probably gets tired of always being dominant. Plus lesbians are hot. Put the two together and BAM! A fetish is born.

I have no practical solution other than your proposal, but I think it's cute more than odd. I like that you two have such openness.

[LoveYourLife]

I have seen naked girl wrestling but it's not very erotic to me. What you plan on doing sounds pretty bizzare, not in a sexually deviant way but simply odd.

I bet he has a BDSM fetish but won't say it directly, it would be a lot easier to let him dom you directly then this odd scheme.

Thanks for your reply.

I can see why you think he has a BDSM fetish, but I really think if he wanted to dominate me like that he would have just come out and said it. We stressed how important it was to be completely honest with each other before we did this and that we wouldn't be judgmental and try to accommodate the other person.

Also, when he saw the surprised look on my face after he explained his fantasy he asked if it was because I was put off. I had said that it wasn't and that it's just that I was surprised because it was so different from what I had expected. I told him that I had expected it to be a F/F/M 3 way, or some type of Dom fantasy (Because those are what I hear all the time when people talk about fantasy). So if he really wanted to dominate me like that he probably would have just spoke up then, right?

I think it's partly a dom fantasy in a sense, but he wouldn't get off on dominating me himself, which is different, and since he specifically wants me to fight another girl, or at least for now shadow box and pretend, I think it's also some type of catfight fetish. Actually, it's probably more so a catfight fetish because if he were to watch me wrestle another girl or something I don't think he would want to 'make me lose' unless we were doing a type of fake role play with another person where it was setup that I was gonna lose. I think he'd rather me lose, but either outcome would be ok, it's just that since right now we're roleplaying and not actually setting me up for a catfight we can make the outcome anyway we want, so obviously we're going to go for the outcome he prefers.

It seems like a mixed fantasy, part domination (but by another girl), part girl fighting, and part consoling, nurturing me back from defeat. I think the reason why he's not into dominating me himself is definitely the gender difference. For whatever reason, he's just not into a male dominating a femlae. Maybe it's because it's too close to abuse? Even though it's consensual and done for pleasure, or maybe he just doesn't find it as sexy that a male is dominating a female because traditionally males are physically stronger anyways.

[darcdante]

For whatever reason, he's just not into a male dominating a femlae. Maybe it's because it's too close to abuse?

This. I'm assuming he's college educated. You'd see this less without a bunch of "women's studies" classes, but our culture is still incredibly anti-masculinity.

[LoveYourLife]

There is nothing wrong with any fantasy you can both enjoy and that doesn't injure anyone. People have lots of fantasies, this isn't any more unusual than most - though somewhat impractical to act out. I really can't think of any easy way to make this work - though shadow boxing is a clever idea.

I suppose you could put on a porno that features women wrestling - then pretend to be the looser.

Does he enjoy being the one dominating you? Does he want to pretend to be a woman who is dominating you?

In any case its nice of you to try to make this work for him, but it doesn't sound easy to do.

Thanks for your reply!

Hrmm, the porn idea is interesting. Do you mean like play the video and act out what's happening on the screen pretending to be the losing woman?

I think he enjoys dominating me only in the sexual sense (eg. Being in control in bed), I don't think he would actually like to pretend to dominate me, but then again if he could also pretend to be the woman dominating me he might go for it. I guess it depends if he'll be able to get into character while still keeping the fantasy sexy for himself. He could still do the corner thing, but he wouldn't be able to encourage me from the sidelines like he could if I just shadowboxed. It would also probably be harder to coordinate because instead of me just making up the entire scenario I would have to work with him to get a feel for how he wants me to react to his pretend blows, haha. That's not necessarily a bad thing I guess. It would give him more direction. I'll have to talk to him about it.

[LoveYourLife]

This. I'm assuming he's college educated. You'd see this less without a bunch of "women's studies" classes, but our culture is still incredibly anti-masculinity.

Yeah, he is college educated.

[darcdante]

Let me put it this way: I have a lady riend who has both a son and daughter. She told her daughter, "Remember, anything a man can do, you can do better."

I asked her, "So do you also tell your son that a woman can do anything better than he can?"

"Haha, no, of course not," was her reply.

But that is our culture. Like Annie Oakley, "Anything you can do, I can do better!"

So men are naturally dominant but culturally submissive. And the end result is "odd" sexual fetishes and sexually frustrated women. imho

[LoveYourLife]

This is cute!

Is it normal to shadowbox against another chick and throw the fight? Nah, not really, but it's cute. Here's my take:

Your guy likes to see you dominated. This isn't uncommon in sexual relations. I don't care what the feminists say, women like to be dominated in the bedroom. In fact, I've found they HATE it when a guy won't take the initiative.

I also think men have been pussified quite a bit. Our natural urges are for men to be dominant and for women to be submissive. Society is telling men to be submissive (except in porn, which is often over-the-top and causes men to be insecure due to humongous penises). But, in general, men are no longer the warriors they used to be.

Your guy likes to see you be submissive, but he probably gets tired of always being dominant. Plus lesbians are hot. Put the two together and BAM! A fetish is born.

I have no practical solution other than your proposal, but I think it's cute more than odd. I like that you two have such openness.

Thanks!

I like that you think it's cute. Now that I think of it I kinda agree. I think it's cute as well. I think it's more quite than weird now.

I do really like it when he takes control in bed. I think that's what he likes to do as well.

I think tat you make a really good point as well with girl on girl being hot, and yeah he's dominant all the time in bed, so he's probably bored of doing it himself, but still wants to see me dominated. That could definitely be an explanation.

I also think the reason why he's into it being a type of 'fight' is because just imagining being dominated the old fashion way by other girl (like whip style) might be kinda boring it's not even like I'm trying to fight back or struggle at that point. This it would be like I'm trying to resist, but just getting overpowered by another girl.