[redthunder2001]

deleted. sorry my computers freaking out

[redthunder2001]

Do you think she understands it means more to you than just the physical pleasure?? Its about the intimacy you are wanting between the two of you?

Weve talked about it and I think she definitely does, unless she was just saying that.

Also from some of the conversations we've had, I think that as she was growing up she was was given the idea that if you get pregnant before you're married you're some kind dirty *****, which has cause her to be overly cautious. Maybe that **** flew in 1920 but thats not a reality of living today. **** happens and I think that, for the most part, other people people get it (and honestly if they dont, they can go ********** off). I was her first serious bf and first sexual partner. Though she didnt grow up in a very religious environment, it was one where sex was never really discussed. Sometimes, I think that in a way she was given the impression that if a woman enjoys or wants sex she is a some kind of ****, or that it is something to be ashamed of. I can tell you that her mother is a very outspoken person who is not afraid to tell you what she thinks on rumors or gossip about others. I can imagine how she could have heard her mother talk about this person or that person whose into this or that making them a nasty **** or got pregnant, that *****.

Something that does lead me to believe this is that I can tell you she does (usually irrationally) worry about what other people might think if they found out she enjoyed this or tried that. This has led to some apprehension on her part and some tension in our sexual relationship. We do have the utmost respect and trust for eachother in the bedroom and she knows I would never betray that trust by talking to anyone about the things we do or try (nothing too wild), but she still cannot get over that thought of what if someone found out, what would they think.

[redthunder2001]

I do see a valid point here. It's like I mentioned somewhere recently, if a girl doesn't want to swallow my cum that's fine, but I'd rather not cum in her mouth than see her spit it out in disgust. It's like a package deal to me, I either cum in her mouth and she swallows or I just cum elsewhere. A women wouldn't like it if a man went down on her and then as soon as she climaxed he ran to the sink and started rinsing his mouth out. If she's attached a 'condition' on you cumming in her, you've accepted it and she's now reneged then that sounds slightly unfair.

This has also been a small point of contention in our relationship. Like most guys, I would love to see her swallow my cum but i know she has a hard time getting it down because of the consistency or texture or whatever freaks her out and i have to say she has honestly tried few times in the past. Ive stopped nagging her to try cause i know it makes her feel bad that she cant get past that mental block it down and ive gotten tired of feeling like im begging. As far as just cumming in her mouth though, she will finish a blowjob all the way, the problem is that I cum hard; probably a little more than the average guy, but i sometimes wonder if i could actually shoot down a small plane. It makes her gag like crazy when I spray the back of her throat so hard, which as you probably know can be a bit of a turn off. She will then run out of the room immediately feeling like she might have to throw up.

[notlikethenormal]

Gagging is a turn off?? only at ejaculation or during the whole thing??

Cause my boyfriend loves it when I gag on it

[Hugo-B]

Judging from your post above (the response to NLN) it seems that your fiance' has been 'conditioned' to feel like she's doing something wrong by enjoying sex or participating in what she has been led to believe are sexually 'dirty' acts.

It sounds like there is a degree of merit on each side of the story here, and you sound like you have a good relationship and do love and respect one another. How old are you both? I used to be able to cum about 4 foot when I was a teenager. Nowadays, not so much :-(

TBH, if you not being able to cum in her is the biggest problem, likely a result of her being led to believe she'll become the ho' of Babylon of she gets pregnant before marriage I wouldn't worry, reach a compromise and just pull out and cum over her. Her reasoning for not wanting you to cum inside her isn't malicious so I' try not to let it bother you if I were you.

I think she may pleasantly surprise you in the future.

[DreamP346]

I just recently started letting my husband cum inside of me and it was an adjustment. There is next day stickiness. Althought not running down the legs, it does get the panties all damp and then the moisture rubs against your inner thighs making it unpleasant and wet. It can last 24 hours. I learned to manage that better by wiping good and I also do a few quick jumps afterwards and that helps get most of it out. I've also learned to enjoy the wet feeling the next day thinking that part of my hubby is still inside of me. But its an adjustment and something I didn't learned to enjoy immediately.

Once you guys get married, you have the rest of your lives to be cumming inside. Its a small compromise in the whole scale of things. Your partner sounds like she is accommodating and tries to do things that aren't necessarily pleasant for her. So I would show her the same curtesy and not push this. Maybe just ask for it once in a while as a treat.

[redthunder2001]

O, dont get me wrong, I LOVE when she gags on me and for some reason she doesnt seem to mind that too much. Its when I spray the back of her throat that she has the problem. I think it might just be that when I'm in there her mouth is kinda full and there is even pressure on the back of her throat its kind of a light gag like if you accidently stick your toothbrush a little too deep. You dont feel like your gunna hurl , its just a little uncomfortable. When i cum i think it may be that it hits hard against a small area like if you suddenly jam a finger wayyy down the back of your throat

I just created a different thread ad this is kinda off topic bud id appreciate if you could check it out and give any input you might have. https://www.womens-health.com/boards...th-please.html

thx

[notlikethenormal]

Personally I've learned to control the gag reflex, deep breathing and lots of consentration. Practice, practice, practice

[redthunder2001]

Judging from your post above (the response to NLN) it seems that your fiance' has been 'conditioned' to feel like she's doing something wrong by enjoying sex or participating in what she has been led to believe are sexually 'dirty' acts.

Yea, I think thats a big part of it and I guess really we've always been working on it. I have to say that I am her first and I understand that she sometimes feels a little inexperienced as she knows Ive had a few gfs before her. Ill be the first to admit she has opened up sexually a lot and I know we have time ahead of us. Its just a little frustrating at times and I certainly dont want to push her that shes uncomfortable.

It sounds like there is a degree of merit on each side of the story here, and you sound like you have a good relationship and do love and respect one another. How old are you both? I used to be able to cum about 4 foot when I was a teenager. Nowadays, not so much :-(

We have an amazing relationship built on trust, love and respect and thats what makes it so amazing for me. Im 26 and shes 25. Weve been together since high school, through college, and are now (finally) living together. Never broke up and we never fight. Not even joking i can hit a wall at 8 feet away (I know because Ive measured)on the first rope or two. The following ones are less strong

TBH, if you not being able to cum in her is the biggest problem, likely a result of her being led to believe she'll become the ho' of Babylon of she gets pregnant before marriage I wouldn't worry, reach a compromise and just pull out and cum over her. Her reasoning for not wanting you to cum inside her isn't malicious so I' try not to let it bother you if I were you.

I think she may pleasantly surprise you in the future.

I know and I think Ive been pretty understanding. I try not to push her because I dont want to make her uncomfortable or feel like she HAS to do this FOR ME and also I know i have a tendancy to build things up in my head sometimes. For the most part I pull out unless i put on an exotic condom for fun to drive her crazy. It just gets a little old ending with the same feeling as basically jerking off.

The big thing for me is that honestly I regret wasting my virginity (though it was "awesome dude" at the time (i used itallica cause there isnt a font called sarcastica)) . If ive told her once ive told her a hundred times i wish i would have waited for her and this is something ive never done with anybody else so i guess its kinda like my first time there if that makes any sense. I mean yes as far as the sex it feels amazing, but to me its more the intimacy and knowing that its something we are sharing together that makes it so amazing. and she know i feel that way.

[redthunder2001]

... I learned to manage that better by wiping good and I also do a few quick jumps afterwards and that helps get most of it out. I've also learned to enjoy the wet feeling the next day thinking that part of my hubby is still inside of me. But its an adjustment and something I didn't learned to enjoy immediately.

yea she does the jumping thing too. I wouldnt tell her, but i actually think its cute as ****.

Once you guys get married, you have the rest of your lives to be cumming inside. Its a small compromise in the whole scale of things. Your partner sounds like she is accommodating and tries to do things that aren't necessarily pleasant for her. So I would show her the same curtesy and not push this. Maybe just ask for it once in a while as a treat.

I know, its just a little disappointing in a way i guess. I dont want to push her to do anything shes not comfortable with because I know ultimately shell resent that. Like i responded to buddhaboy, I had been with other girls (regrettably) in the past and she knows that, but she also knows she is the only one I have shared this pleasure with. We talked about it after and she knows that while yes, ive never felt a pleasure quite like that, for me it was a bonding like ive never felt before, and that i never felt closer. I guess in a way its just a little disappointing to feel like I (we) waited so long, which we both agreed to, and only did it a few times and it kinda seems like she doesnt want to any more.