[C]

You are correct there very well could be a physical issue here that she needs to have tended to. I didn't overlook that possibility I simply based my reply on his statement - "I am beginning to think the emotional side of things for her are the real cause of this pain."

And being older my thoughts still go another way than the rest of you. From talking with doctors plus my own knowledge of women, I am well aware of the fact that women as they age can truly be sick of sex. Believe it or not, many, many women just do not like the sex act to start. They play the game to get the man, but soon after marriage it slows down. Not tonight dear is a familiar sentence in their home. They find excuses when there are none. Many women by their mid 40's on up are interested in separate bedrooms. By menopause still another excuse. Why, who knows. Maybe they never were in love with their man to start. Sometimes I wonder how many women have been fortunate enough to be passionately in love with a man as I have been all my life.

If this man's wife could be in this age bracket or hated sex to start, her mind alone could be playing a game to help his penetration hurt her. She hates it and if she does have this distaste for this sexual act, it will never go away. It has festered far too long.

Please understand I do not know this is the case with this couple and I am just assuming some things that I do know. We have some friends in a celibate marriage. Not by the husband's choice, but the wife.....

Adding on Saturday: These women do love their husband's when they marry them but they DO NOT know the sexual love that is entailed in keeping a marriage hot. They tire of it. It is an invasion of their sexual parts and unless they can find the true woman inside them, they want to escape. Passionate sex must be kept alive from day one of a marriage. That is the secret of hot love into older age...

Again just my thoughts...

[narmeen]

vaginal thrush

hi

anyone who has experienced vaginal thrush (liquid come out ) with and without making actual sex.

and can you access your gspot which is a vaginal soft pressable tissue.

I had a vaginal thrush and i can touch till gspot end.


thanks
narmeen

[anonymouswhitefemale]

her mind alone could be playing a game to help his penetration hurt her.

Yeah, that's where my money is. Good to hear another woman say it. Obviously, she could be really horny all the time but in physical pain, but I'm guessing since your scared to bring up any sexual-services talk the chances are she's never horny...

[Fallen1]

I would just like to add ....

I don't think any of us are trying to dismiss the fact that there's a possibility of a physical problem, there always is that chance. However, as you can see I agree with Caroline and anonymous here that something more may be going on.

My reasoning, and this is only my opinion, is that if someone truly loves their mate and desires him sexually, why would they let such a problem go on and not go to the doctor and have it checked out? I know if I were hurting enough I would definitely have it checked out, if for nothing else other than making sure there wasn't anything seriously wrong.

[Mourningman]

She is 42 we have been married for 16 years.She has not initiated anything sexual for some time now maybe 10 years.Hates blow jobs, won't even think of anal.I cannot even get her to let me go down on her.Last time was march 07.I am always offering this too and I get her to orgasm.So it is possible she don't want anything to do with me.And the pain is the fact that I am there period.If this is true whay am I there at all is the question I must ask myself. These are the things I ask myself daily. And it really sucks. When your with someone for so long ya kinda get the feeling of what is what. Here is another what if.... what if there is someone else a guy or a gal.

[rcoreyus]

There are heterosexuals, bisexuals, gays / lesbians - a wide range of human interests in sex. Are there people that simply are not interested in sex - for whatever sorts of reasons that cause other sexual orientations?

Your situation sounds much like mine. Was you wife always like this, did it change suddenly, gradually? In my case, my wife never had much interest in sex, and it decreased gradually over 20 years.

[C]

I don't think she is any of the above. Just a woman that has tolerated sex and just sick of it. I am not sure of how you two were to start. Real hot sexually or more of a motionless wife. Forget about blow jobs and anal. Blow jobs for many women is degrading. Anal hurts. She has enough hurt with regular sex. As far as eating her out she must be trying to be a martyr. To me there is nothing like a man's tongue with the exception of his ...

Why not try some real tender loving with her. I mean do all but kiss her toes and you may do that do. Barter her, honey, how about a hot dinner out with drinks or something that she likes. A hot night at a motel, a sexy nightie (that may not work), a box of candy, and go your own route but for goodness sakes have a lot of lubricant. You know enough that you really slide in. No hurt.....Baby her, cuddle her, and try anything to get her going.

If she does hurt this much there is a possibility she may have a vulva problem or something internal. This she would go to the GYN to see......I can't tell you to have patience because you seem to have the patience of a saint but I can tell you that your story is repeated many times by men. Then the time comes in life when you are no longer able to get it up and we cry like a baby.......Much luck my friend....

Again just my thoughts....C

[free spirit]

She needs to be properly evaluated by a knowledgeable gyn. She should not be experiencing any pain and as a hubby, you really should stop at the first sign of pain.

Look at all possible physical problems first before you start on the 'it's all in your head' bs.

As some have mentioned, cysts or fibroids can cause pain. So can endometriosis, vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitus, vaginismus, fibromalygia, yeast, BV or any other sort of low grade infection. If she's shy about what's going on with her own body, she may need encouragement to go to the doctor. When was the last time she went for a normal routine gyn exam? She may be long over due.

[momavluss]

Check this out

All the while she is wincing and saying how much it hurts.We don't do doggie that hurts now face to face hurts.

See my Nov 16 post; sounds like my wife exactly.

[Guest]

My thoughts would be to have her go to her obgyn and see if her perenium is tearing when you have sex. Also has she had children?

Julie