[rcoreyus]

Stillness, I completely understand that this sort of discussion could be offensive. OTOH, what I am seeing is that when people are anonymous they will express some ideas that they might not express otherwise. I'd much prefer if people didn't have biases - but if they do, I'd much prefer that I know about them to try to understand them. I think its also important to understand which ideas are simply the result of irrational bias, and which are actually true. If black men really do behave differently in bed, then I find that interesting - and maybe a window into understanding the social / racial issues in the world. Our society tries very hard to be non-racial, but beneath the surface there are still a lot of strong beliefs, (some true, some not), and I think its better to see them than to hide them.

Jen1447 - I'm male. This thread is wandering a bit, but I think its OK. I've been married a long time so I don't have a broad experience with women, but I know my wife doesn't want me to be too dominant in bed. Some women of course do want that. It becomes a very tricky bit of communication and I think many men are worried about a negative reaction if they directly ask for what they want. Many societies have a very strong (and correct) stigma against the aggressive "rapist" who takes what he wants, and so many men don't want to get anywhere near that image. There is some negative pressure on women to not be too forward and act like "****s", but I don't think that carries nearly as strong a pressure as the anti-rapist pressure.

BTW - I clearly understand the difference between asking what you want in a consensual relationship and rape - but rape is so abhorrent that there is a desire to stay clear of anything anywhere close.

Have you or anyone noticed significant difference between cultures, not races? Has anyone had experience with black men who were not raised in European-based cultures?

[jen1447]

I don't really buy any of that, sorry, but to each their own.


rcoreyus, that's actually a really intelligent question. I'm not a sociologist or anything of the sort, but my guess is that it's likely cultural. Now I'm not sure what dictates that, but somewhere along the line, whether it be upbringing or maybe even environmental conditioning, it seems that black men become quite confident and unafraid to reach for what they want. I'm not sure if you're male or female, but this sort of confidence and lack of fear is very appealing to a woman when directed at them. I don't want men to apologetically approach me and act like they hope I'm not offended by them, I want them to boldly say what they want, and if what they want is me, well that boldness is the shortest route to that goal. Put those two together, and you may have a biological component to mate selection going on.

I'm sure what's going on in my mind plays a role too, and that includes things like my own rebellious nature. It's not much of a stretch to say that interracial relationships have been heavily frowned upon in the past, and telling me not to do something or implying that I can't doesn't work well for me, haha. And like someone up the thread mentioned, there is a certain aesthetic appeal to the contrast of skin colors. Another thing is, in my experience, black men tend to generally have better physiques, and maybe that has a physiological effect, both in terms of confidence and real performance ability.

At any rate, I guess I'm not terribly concerned with the why when it comes to practicality. Analysis is great for intellectual discussions, but not so much for sex and desire. Best to let those things be mysterious.

[jns]

It's interesting how people project onto whole groups of people their experiences with one or two of a given group, or in some cases, just what they have heard from others.

****butting in****
I have to tell you all that this is by far the most painfully offensive thread on this site. I love the format here, that we all share anonymity and so we get a certain honesty from different cultures, genders, and individuals. So, I'm not trying to shame anyone for expressing themselves. I appreciate it. But, I’m also a descendant of slaves who were treated like objects for the pleasure of others. And although no one here is enslaved anymore, the attitudes that objectify a person don’t just stop with how much pleasure they give you. It carries over into everything and affects everyone.

I’ve always empathized with women because of how men have dominated over them for so very long. Life is so much better for all of us when women are free, so I’m happy that we’re moving away from those days in so many places. That’s why it stabs me in the heart to see women speak about “trying a black man,” as if they’re appetizers to be sampled. It feels like a betrayal after the millennia of objectification of womankind. I’d think that if anyone should be sensitive to it, it would be a woman.

I’m not trying to rain on your parade. Really, I'm not. You all are keeping it very real, so I’m doing the same. It’s actually good to be reminded that these attitudes still exist in the second decade of the 21st century and that even if some of us are post-racial, we’re still in a society that is not.

rcoreyus’ question about why this should be vary by culture is about the only thing that would pull this thread out of the gutter to me. But, like this post, it would be derailing. Carry on, ladies…
****butts out****

My comment still rings true. I wonder how many have had a one night stand with a person just because they were of one grouping or another with the understanding that that grouping is monolithic.

[Stillness]

**butting in**
I have to tell you all that this is by far the most painfully offensive thread on this site. I love the format here, that we all share anonymity and so we get a certain honesty from different cultures, genders, and individuals. So, I'm not trying to shame anyone for expressing themselves. I appreciate it. But, I’m also a descendant of slaves who were treated like objects for the pleasure of others. And although no one here is enslaved anymore, the attitudes that objectify a person don’t just stop with how much pleasure they give you. It carries over into everything and affects everyone.

I’ve always empathized with women because of how men have dominated over them for so very long. Life is so much better for all of us when women are free, so I’m happy that we’re moving away from those days in so many places. That’s why it stabs me in the heart to see women speak about “trying a black man,” as if they’re appetizers to be sampled. It feels like a betrayal after the millennia of objectification of womankind. I’d think that if anyone should be sensitive to it, it would be a woman.

I’m not trying to rain on your parade. Really, I'm not. You all are keeping it very real, so I’m doing the same. It’s actually good to be reminded that these attitudes still exist in the second decade of the 21st century and that even if some of us are post-racial, we’re still in a society that is not.

rcoreyus’ question about why this should be vary by culture is about the only thing that would pull this thread out of the gutter to me. But, like this post, it would be derailing. Carry on, ladies…
**butts out**

[rcoreyus]

Why do you think there is a difference. Not talking about size, which is probably genetic, but why do you think black men might be more dominant / aggressive / active - whatever you want to call it? Upbringing? Expectations? Perception? Genetic?

As a society we try to pretend that there are minimal differences between races - and in many things that is true. There are many cases where people's perception of a difference is really based on their own biases. Is this a case though where there is a real difference - and if so, why is sexual behavior different from so many other things?

(I'm not objecting at all to the claim, I just think its interesting).

The hype is true. I've had several, and black men are just generally more well-endowed and the best performers (among men). Every white guy I've been with has ended up being submissive to me, but the black guys have challenged me, and I've actually gotten lost in the feeling of being 'taken' by them instead of always being the one in control. So if you're curious, by all means, do it. You won't be sorry.

[jen1447]

The hype is true. I've had several, and black men are just generally more well-endowed and the best performers (among men). Every white guy I've been with has ended up being submissive to me, but the black guys have challenged me, and I've actually gotten lost in the feeling of being 'taken' by them instead of always being the one in control. So if you're curious, by all means, do it. You won't be sorry.

[circus]

I have not had sex with a black guy yet but I do fantasize about it sometimes. None of my friends have that I know of either. Wish I could talk to someone that has, then maybe I would have an idea if it is as true as all the hype. Wish there was a chat option here sorta.

You can talk to me about it. Private Msg me.

[lisawcute]

Interracial

I have not had sex with a black guy yet but I do fantasize about it sometimes. None of my friends have that I know of either. Wish I could talk to someone that has, then maybe I would have an idea if it is as true as all the hype. Wish there was a chat option here sorta.

[danaeargos]

Yes more please!

I am quite fair skinned with freckles, though I'm not considered ginger for my hair is honey blonde. The black man I experience in my earlier twenties was ebony black. I have to say it was one of the most incredible nights of my life. We both rather enjoyed watching ourselves in the mirror. The stark contrast between my white skin against his black skin was beautiful, and erotic. He was big, at least 11 inches, and uncircumcised. I enjoyed it immensely, but not all of him fit, and I like to have that pelvic contact.

[kira]

I tend not to find other races as appealing. I was willing to give it a shot when I was talking to a black guy over a dating site but nothing came of it. Personalities just didn't align and I find that is usually the case with other races due to different backgrounds, goals, and views coming from their culture and upbringing. I also have no fantasies about large penis. Been there, done that, could do without it. Even before that experience I never thought about penis size. I fantasized about certain touch or activities like good back rubs and some light bondage.

I liked how dominant he could become and he knew what he wanted.

I would like my husband to be a little more dominant, he's sooo cautious about initiating sex that I find it annoying waiting around for him to do something actually arousing, but too much would set off a fight response in me and I'd end up being the dominant one. I don't take authority or being pushed around well and I don't submit. Most of the other races and about half the white guys that approached me on dating sites caused that problem. They tried to tell me what I wanted, when we should meet, and when we'd have sex. It went badly for them. I controlled the pace of things or I quit being cooperative.