[CHANDLERS WISH]

And what did you gain from this Forum? Here you had both women and men of all talk you through a lot about relationships.. I for one would be interested in what you felt you gained from here.

How are you going to establish a woman's comfortability in size? Ask her? I really think honestly what you should have gotten so far is, the reality of what everyone has told you, there is a lot more to sex than the size of a penis, and there is a lot more to intimacy than sex and there is a lot more to "people" than judgement or materialistic matters.

Just off topic again, sorry OP, we try to keep each thread to topic but I read something today that you also may consider.

It was thoughts from "Charles Darwin". If you don't know who he is google him. He basically stated "we all need a change int he exercise of thoughts as well as of body, or else we may suffer from mental cramp as some people do from writer's cramp".

I'd be interested on your thoughts there as well.

Any form of links are not permitted on WH, other than links directly from WH.

[Obelisk]

And what did you gain from this Forum? Here you had both women and men of all talk you through a lot about relationships.. I for one would be interested in what you felt you gained from here.

Don't get me wrong. I appreciate all the answers I have gotten here. I understand the basics of what you all are trying to explain to me, that as long as you have feelings for the person, the physical compatibility can be worked out. So if a woman has feelings for me, even if I can't physically give her 100% sensation it won't matter to her because that's not the most important thing for her.

I guess, that, is something I'm still trying to work out in my head. I think the problem for me, again, is that I've pretty much lived a life where I've been constantly judged on my looks and what I can do, and not what I am inside. I've internalized that as a framework for my own life. It has taught me not to see people in that manner though. I can see beyond looks. Everyone that knows me personally likes who I am because I can accept people no matter who they are or what they look like (primarily because I hate it when people do it to me and I can't do that to other people).

I think the problem is that I don't expect to be treated back the same way I treat others. To me the world is a much colder place than that. I'm really having a hard time dealing with that, because I am a good guy by nature, but have had to become tough and harsh in some respects to gain the respect of others.

So yeah that's pretty much it. I don't expect to find people who will just accept me for what I am inside. Only one person has accepted me like that, my best friend, another guy with a heart of gold.

Sorry to the OP for hijacking your thread. I don't think most women would be able to give an accurate picture anyway. This is why my "hijacking" is not really deviating from the question that much. Basically, because women are so different in sizes, it's impossible to judge what's "big" and what's "small"

Some women might have found 6" huge, some small. Some might have found 9" just right, some extremely uncomfortable. So I don't think the OP can get a true answer even if women were to post in here with their experiences.

In the end, the sad thing is that absolute #'s have been placed by society of what size constitutes "big" for a man, completely ignoring that women come in just the same variety of sizes as well. That puts huge pressure on us to match something that we may not need to match.

So from my end, anxiety is not fully gone, but I'm at least happy that I am somewhere in the middle, not too big, not too small. No need to be 9", half the women would probably just feel pain from that

7" goal is still there though

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Psstttt - There are some real beautiful people out there in this World and you are no longer a kid, now a mature adult which means you can command respect as well as give it. Just broaden your thoughts further to that inner-self now, we all got bullied at school or experienced things that were not what we expected and liked.. That's where the tough get going and the weak remain, in the past... Present now - onwards to your future.

[Little]

I have moved these posts to a new thread to keep discussion in the other thread more focused on the OP's question about statistics and averages.

[jns]

A thought, Obelisk do you know how a piston and cylinder work? The work by close fit and lubrication at the final interfaces, that is between the piston rings and the cylinder wall and also between the piston rings and the piston itself. It becomes relatively leak tight due to the viscosity of the lubricating oil. A guy with a thick penis and maybe even thinner ones also does this in a vagina. The pressure (thrust) and suction (pull) created causes other internal structures to move. Therefore having a penis that reaches to the very end is not necessary and the fluid pressure causes movement all the way to the end.

[Obelisk]

A thought, Obelisk do you know how a piston and cylinder work? The work by close fit and lubrication at the final interfaces, that is between the piston rings and the cylinder wall and also between the piston rings and the piston itself. It becomes relatively leak tight due to the viscosity of the lubricating oil. A guy with a thick penis and maybe even thinner ones also does this in a vagina. The pressure (thrust) and suction (pull) created causes other internal structures to move. Therefore having a penis that reaches to the very end is not necessary and the fluid pressure causes movement all the way to the end.

I breathe auto mechanics man. I understand exactly how a piston works.

I'm actually more at peace with the whole thing. Primarily because I now understand how, for some women, they really are telling the truth if too big for them actually hurts, simply on the mechanics of their own size (perhaps they don't have the space to comfortably handle a large unit. It might stretch out but at a cost of it feeling painful)

I had some misunderstandings on female anatomy that are now clearer to me. I still think there's a range for most women that they will like. Again, it sound like as a general rule, 7" is the sweet spot, but 6" or even 5 1/2" is really not that different and will do the job just fine.

My biggest worry was simply that women felt they were missing something is the penis was only average sized. I know for some women that might be true and for other it's actually a relief to go down to a size that won't hurt them.

I still think bigger looks better to most women.

Women should really measure their vaginal canals to get an idea of what size penis is ideal for them hah hah.

[muffin70]

Well Obelisk - I have replied a few times to your other 'my penis is too small' threads (lets get real here that's the issue you are having)

I have a small penis - never measured it, but I know it is small... prob 4" maybe? But I have a wonderful loving wife and have been married for over 10 years.
Sure when I was younger I used to worry about the size of my penis and if any woman would love me - my wife loves me for me... we have a good connection and a lot in common and we get along well - including in the bedroom

My wife has even admitted that her previous BF's were more well endowed then me - but they didn't treat her right

many guys like yourself are obsessed with being able to make a woman orgasm during intercourse, and you assume that because you have a small penis you won't be able to do that... a woman is not going to love you more because you have a large penis, or you are able to make them orgasm through intercourse... a woman will love you for who you are.

you need to stop worrying about the size of your penis - I did and feel much better off for it!

[Obelisk]

Well Obelisk - I have replied a few times to your other 'my penis is too small' threads (lets get real here that's the issue you are having)

I must have missed some of them. Yes, bottom line is I used to think it was too small. I'm slowly starting to realize that it's not small and it's not big. It might be the perfect size for a whole bunch of smaller women.

I have a small penis - never measured it, but I know it is small... prob 4" maybe? But I have a wonderful loving wife and have been married for over 10 years.

That's cool man, I'm happy for you.

My wife has even admitted that her previous BF's were more well endowed then me - but they didn't treat her right

This is exactly what I dread to hear. I don't want to hear "well yes I've had guys who's penises felt better, but I had to settle with you because you treat me better than them". Yes, this is what my brain would process if I heard that. I would rather hear "I've never had bigger" (and have it be the truth ) but realistically, I'd like to hear "yes I've had bigger but they hurt because I'm smaller down there, your size fits perfectly" I could live with that.

many guys like yourself are obsessed with being able to make a woman orgasm during intercourse

Hmm, no, not in my case. I believe I have enough length to reach the most sensitive areas at the front of the vagina. Not sure about girth, I'd like more, but it's never been a problem really. I understand that most of the pleasure for a woman is in her clit, and it doesn't matter if you have a coke bottle sized shlong, it will never directly hit the clit (hey I'm a poet and don't know it!). Which is why women always need to have a finger rubbing it along with the penetration to get off. I have zero problem with this.

There is so much talk however, of how women have this spot at the back of their vaginas sometimes called the "cul-de-sac" that is supposed to bring intense pleasure to them if it can be hit, and I felt really crappy that I imagined I could never give a woman that pleasure.

But I've found this is not the case. As usual, on the internet everything is blown out of proportion. For some women, there is no spot. For some there is and it feels good if it can be hit, but not crucial, like maybe an extra 5%-10% enhanced feeling? And even for the women who can get pleasure out of that spot, most average guys can hit it if their vaginal canal is average sized as well. The "size queens" may be nothing more than women who have biologically bigger vaginal canals, and need a bigger unit to do what an average unit can do for an averaged sized woman.

And of course, the whole thing that visually, a larger penis is more likely to "prime" a woman to think it will feel better, so it does for her. Visual can be subjective though. When I am very lean, I have almost no fat to cover my penis, so what I have looks bigger, and since my thighs/legs are smaller, it adds to the effect that it is larger (the feeling would be exactly the same, but it "looks" bigger)

a woman is not going to love you more because you have a large penis, or you are able to make them orgasm through intercourse... a woman will love you for who you are.

Well I'm not going to go into a discourse again about love, and all that hard to quantify pie in the sky stuff. "Love" does not care about any physical trait once it's there. We all know what. If your wife loves you, she wouldn't care if you got hit in the face with a shovel and had a huge scar running down your face for the rest of your life. It still doesn't mean you don't have a deformity though. A smaller penis is a deformity. I think 4" is probably on the edge of that, since there are women small enough to feel all that in full.

As far as "love", well, it's really up to the woman to give a man the chance to stick around so she can develop that love. Maybe most guys really are horrible. I definitely agree there's a ton in it simply to use women as objects. I've never had that chance because I've put my foot down on the kids issue, and I haven't met any women who don't want kids yet. So in my case, I don't get to have a woman who will give me her love if I can't give her some kids.

you need to stop worrying about the size of your penis - I did and feel much better off for it!

I'm not as worried anymore, but it took a lot of digging for factual information about the truth vs perceptions. It's really hard to hear practically every woman say "yeah I've had huge but I didn't like it". It seems like a save-face response until I understood the biology behind it (that yes for some women it did hurt because they were too small). So at least I know that if I go out with a petite woman, even if she's had a bigger guy, probabilities are in favour of me being a better size fit for her that she will actually enjoy more. That makes me feel a lot better.

Psstttt - There are some real beautiful people out there in this World and you are no longer a kid, now a mature adult which means you can command respect as well as give it. Just broaden your thoughts further to that inner-self now, we all got bullied at school or experienced things that were not what we expected and liked.. That's where the tough get going and the weak remain, in the past... Present now - onwards to your future.

I haven't met many beautiful people. I've met maybe 5 people who I would consider to be beautiful inside in my entire life. I'm good friends with 3 of them. I haven't met a woman I would say was beautiful on the inside yet, not even my own mother (although I do love her, she tries her hardest).

**** it sucks because I don't want to tally up a partner count, I need sex but don't want to keep randomly sleeping with women. I just want one to be mine. It kind of sucks that this is something that has been lost on society. And the kid thing hurts my chances pretty bad, but the stance on that won't change. If it's between kids and staying alone for the rest of my life, bring on the alone I've had 15 years of training for it

[muffin70]

This is exactly what I dread to hear. I don't want to hear "well yes I've had guys who's penises felt better, but I had to settle with you because you treat me better than them". Yes, this is what my brain would process if I heard that. I would rather hear "I've never had bigger" (and have it be the truth ) but realistically, I'd like to hear "yes I've had bigger but they hurt because I'm smaller down there, your size fits perfectly" I could live with that.

My wife said her previous B/F had a bigger penis.... she didn't say she enjoyed it more though :-)

I'm just curious though - If you are not worried your penis size, then why do you keep posting and replying to threads about penis size on here??


Also I think your stance on having or not having kids is also affecting you ability to find a woman - you need to go into a relationship with an open mind. If you meet the perfect woman then you may change your mind? .... If you put barriers up before you enter a relationship, then the relationship is probably doomed to fail...

[Obelisk]

My wife said her previous B/F had a bigger penis.... she didn't say she enjoyed it more though :-)

I'm just curious though - If you are not worried your penis size, then why do you keep posting and replying to threads about penis size on here??


Also I think your stance on having or not having kids is also affecting you ability to find a woman - you need to go into a relationship with an open mind. If you meet the perfect woman then you may change your mind? .... If you put barriers up before you enter a relationship, then the relationship is probably doomed to fail...

No idea what the case may be with your wife. That's something that is up to you to dig into...or not.

And I am worried about my size. I never really thought about it much though until a few months ago. I knew my measurements since I was 16. I was bit smaller then but I guess it grew a bit more by the time I was 18.

I never thought I was "small". I knew I wasn't huge. Huge seemed to be some invisible unicorn that we doubted the existence of, at least most guys I know/knew would usually treat the subject as a joke.

When I started reading online, there seemed to be a lot of women claiming to have had huge (over 8", 10" in some cases). I guess that's when I started worrying about it.

I joined this board specifically to ask about this, and well, a lot of women here too claim to have had huge, so yeah, not much help in that department. I guess that's what kind of scared me, thinking that "huge" is actually a lot more common than I thought it was.

I honestly have no idea what the truth is regarding that matter. I still don't know how so many women bump into a huge guy if they are supposed to be so rare. But if women come in different sizes as diverse as men do, then there's hope that there are women whom my size will be perfect for. I am finding comfort in that though.


The kid thing, well, I know you mean well, but I absolutely hate people telling me I will change my mind. I knew I didn't want kids when I was 12. You know I felt my entire youth I was fat and ugly (really I was just fat though, ugly went away when I lost the weight ) and I didn't want anyone to go thru the despair I felt as a kid to be singled out just because nobody could accept me for what I looked. That cut deep down to the core of my soul. You might not know this, but I had a vasectomy. Mentally I feel the same. I'm pretty fit now, but it takes tremendous effort to maintain that. I gain fat easily. I definitely don't want to bring kids to this world with my genetics. I have to work out everyday, watch my diet to keep fit. I've been on hair loss medication for 10 years, otherwise I'd be bald as an eagle. I'm short for a guy at 5'6. I bought platform shoes to raise me 3", they were uncomfortable as heck to wear, and I was still short compared to most other guys.

I don't feel I should punish a future child by passing down the crap genetics I have in my body. My line ends with me. That makes me happy. As a bonus, I've been able to be pretty financially secure and even help my folks with their expenses, while driving a very nice car and having some high tech toys to play with. That was never the intent, it was kind of a bonus for me, but I've had to sacrifice a lot of opportunities with women to have what I have now.

So I know I asked this before, but is it fair for me to lead a woman on, fully knowing that I won't change my mind on the kids issue?