[Picksomething]

Background: Grew up in a very prude christian household. Around 15 I got super fat, lots of stretch marks, no friend, no self confidence.

Never learned how to talk to girls, and always feared them.

Now, 27, lost the weight, look like I workout with my shirt on, big arms, big chest, shoulders, back, etc. I think im fairly handsome. Still have loose skin and stretchmarks though. Im successful, make over 200k a year, drive nice cars, own my own house, not e bragging. But still have horrible confidence. Ive been trying to get out there to talk to girls. Gone on a few dates recently finally. In the past 2 girls have told me they'd fuk me, turned them both down. Farthest ive ever gone with a girl is kissing, not making out, literally just kiss.

Once I get a girlfriend, I dont know what to do... Do i tell her Im a virgin? Plus she wont know how bad my stretch marks or loose skin are, as with a shirt on I look really muscular and good, but shirt off iMO, yuck! Im really confident when i talk to people, I can make them laugh, im really personable, but the whole looks thing has my confidence wayyyy down. Ladies please help me out.

[jns]

I'm a guy. I'm impressed by the success you have had. I doubt it was by not being confident in the field that you work in. So you know how to be confident with the work you do. Start believing in yourself around women. It's really not that far of a leap.

You are still young. Possibly your skin will tighten up. Alternately, if it concerns you a tremendous amount, you could consult a plastic surgeon to reduce it. Don't elect for surgery unless you are certain you need to. There is always risk with surgery, but it should be reasonably small.

Use your ability to get people to laugh to slowly draw in a group of friends with some single ladies amongst them. Being able to get a person you like to laugh with you is a great way to bond. Learn how to talk to women from your group of friends and keep being fun to be around. Sooner or later you will find someone that starting a relationship with will seem to be second nature. She will love you for who your are.

As soon as you reach the point of intimacy, a gf would know that you are a virgin. The fortunate thing is she won't count it against you, but do your best to learn and become a good lover.

[Picksomething]

Thanks for the reply. Dont get me wrong, in groups I can talk well. I was at a party 2 weeks ago where a 31 yr old chick was all over me and wouldnt leave me alone. She pretty much told me she wanted me when she said "women need sex daily, i havent had sex today." (mind you this is not one of the two I mentioned earlier, those chicks actually said I will fuk you) To which I pretty much brushed her comment off. But she didnt leave me alone all night, laughed at everything I said when it wasnt even funny etc. Now if my clothed body matched what my naked body does, I probably wouldve taken her up on that offer. Im fairly charming, Im just horrible at initiating. Plus due to low self confidence I wont even try to have sex with a chick if she wants to. I dont know what to do, and I need to make moves fast enough otherwise I feel like Im going to be left with no one.

As for the cosmetic surgery, Im going to get it done. I unfortunately gained about 40 lbs due to an illness (doctors had to pump with me steroids which made me gain weight and hold water). But Ive lost 20 of those 40, and once i lose the next 20 Im going to see a surgeon regarding a tummy tuck. Itll suck having this HUGE scar across the bottom of my stomach but at least I wont have loose skin that folds when I sit anymore, or just hangs there when I do pushups. Plus no one will see the scar when I have shorts or whatever on.

[kdc]

Frankly, I think you’re worrying too much. I would tell the lady that you don’t have any experience, as I’m not so sure you’re going to be able to last very long the first time, anyway. If you tell her, at least she’ll understand why you’re so quick on the draw. ;-) I really think that your inexperience will work in your favor, since you won’t have any nasty STDs for her to worry about.

You sound like quite a catch. Don’t sweat it the stretch marks and loose skin. If you can make a lady laugh and have a good personality, you’ll do just fine.

[LizziB]

I also grew up in a strict Christian home, and so I be understanding of that, not sure about other girls without that background would feel, one girl did tell me once she thought Christian boys were 'weird', and I guess there could be that impression, especially since its so unusual for men to keep their virginity, they may think there's something wrong with you.

if you're honest about your background,I think most people would understand. Probably your first sexual encounters will be kind of awkward, but don't let that stop you! Let it be a learning experience.

One last thing - confidence is sexy! You may not feel it, but have a go anyway. Fake it til you make it!

[kira]

I swore off having sex with virgins because they would become too clingy. That first relationship you are always too in to each other and never want to be apart. That's fine when both people are in their first relationship but I found my level of experience meant I wanted more space and freedom. I didn't need to be with my partner every second possible and having sex as much as possible. So all relationships with virgins led to me being highly annoyed for months before it ended badly.

[Picksomething]

I swore off having sex with virgins because they would become too clingy. That first relationship you are always too in to each other and never want to be apart. That's fine when both people are in their first relationship but I found my level of experience meant I wanted more space and freedom. I didn't need to be with my partner every second possible and having sex as much as possible. So all relationships with virgins led to me being highly annoyed for months before it ended badly.

lol valid point. I dont necessarily want to fall in love with the first girl I have sex with, but I dont think id be clingy either. Ive gone on dates and if a girl doesnt like me or doesnt want to go out again I can easily just drop it. Just because a girl gives me attention doesnt mean I reciprocate it back.

[DreamP346]

It all depends. If its just a hook-up, then physical attributes matter. Also for a one night stand or very early in a relationship, a woman probably doesn't want to know that a guy is a virgin. It makes it look like you are really serious - you waited all this time and now you want to share this special moment with this person. Not saying that is what is happening, but that's the impression.

In a relationship, it becomes less important. If you have been spending time with a person, getting to know each other and are at the point where you really like each other a lot, then things like shaggy skin will already have been mentioned. You can also just let the women know that you are not very experienced in the bedroom area because of being raised in a conservative society. Don't need to explain you've never done anything with a girl. Also, have sex with the lights off at night so you don't feel so self conscious.

A few things to remember, many guys in their 20's don't know much about what to do with sex. So there is a good chance you won't be the first guy this woman has been with that didn't have a clue what he was doing. During the relationship is really when you learn and that is the fun part about being in a relationship.
Many women are self-conscious about their body, even ones with what most people would consider beautiful bodies. So when the clothes come off, more than likely, you are not the only one being uncomfortable.
Most, not all, woman are attracted and arouse by confidence and success. If you are getting her into bed, she is already attracted and aroused by you.
Women have stretch marks too, even young and skinny ones.

[Element]

Well, if you date a woman who wants to get to know you, see if there is a possibility to have a close relationship with you, then she'll wait quite a bit before opening her legs for you. If a woman doesn't want a wanna be thug who's looking for a notch on his bedpost or just one night to get his; she'll wait a good 3months before sleeping with you so she knows that you want her and she's not wasting her time for a guy who's gunna leave her as soon as he gets off of her.

In that time you two can get to know each other, learn about each other, and you can touch on pasts, family, how school was for you, personal triumphs, and you can inform her of what you have told us. Then she'll know you and having some extra skin won't make her turn her back on you.

As for the virgin part, if the woman is truly into you; it won't matter. Either she'll be honored to be your first and will try to make it memorable for you. Or she'll enjoy a man who will learn what she likes and she knows she won't be compared to other women.

All in all, it depends on what kind of relationship and woman you are seeking.

[Picksomething]

Well, if you date a woman who wants to get to know you, see if there is a possibility to have a close relationship with you, then she'll wait quite a bit before opening her legs for you. If a woman doesn't want a wanna be thug who's looking for a notch on his bedpost or just one night to get his; she'll wait a good 3months before sleeping with you so she knows that you want her and she's not wasting her time for a guy who's gunna leave her as soon as he gets off of her.

In that time you two can get to know each other, learn about each other, and you can touch on pasts, family, how school was for you, personal triumphs, and you can inform her of what you have told us. Then she'll know you and having some extra skin won't make her turn her back on you.

As for the virgin part, if the woman is truly into you; it won't matter. Either she'll be honored to be your first and will try to make it memorable for you. Or she'll enjoy a man who will learn what she likes and she knows she won't be compared to other women.

All in all, it depends on what kind of relationship and woman you are seeking.

well i hope thats the case, but like I said, not sure id want to marry the first girl i sleep with. ****, if I could change one thing in my life it would just be never getting fat -_-