[amys87]

Why do men like to masturbate more then sex?

My boyfriend masturbates over porn everyday and leaves me for weeks without sex

Y is he picking porn over are sex life?

I feel like im not enough for him and like im doing something wrong am I over reacting or is he addicted to porn?

[Stillness]

Men don't prefer pornography over a real, live lover. Some men do.

There are quite a few threads on these boards with women whose men prefer pornography or men whose women prefer romance novels and masturbation over sex with them. It's humiliating and puzzling for the real mate who's rejected for a fantasy.

A couple of ideas that have been bounced around are that one is able to achieve a sexual release without the pressure to perform, the risk of pregnancy or disease, or the need to woo or "warm up" another person. It can be a lot quicker. If they're nitpicky about hygiene and messiness, it can be neater and less smelly. The person is simply able to focus on their own pleasure.

There's also quite a bit of research on the effects that pornography has on brain chemistry. It can be similar to narcotics and can cause addiction.

Here is a recent thread from a lady that actually models for pornography that met her boyfriend while she was making the pornography: https://www.womens-health.com/boards...-initiate.html. If men actually wanted the women that performed and posed for that stuff, then he would be all over her, right? Nope! Attraction to the performers is just a small part of it. So it's not you. If he's with you, then most likely he finds you attractive. Something else is the problem.

Here's another recent thread from a young woman dealing with a boyfriend claiming to be addicted to pornography: https://www.womens-health.com/boards...irlfriend.html. He admitted it to her and joined a group and is taking steps to deal with it.

So what you might need to figure out is whether or not he's willing to try to change and whether or not you want to tolerate him while he tries, or worst, put up with him if he has no desire to.

[Gary7]

I prefer sex with a live human and...(checking pants)...yep. I'm a man.

Seriously, sounds like he has a problem with porn. Time to confront him or, since he's a "boyfriend" and not a "husband", wish him luck and move on. Trust me, you don't want to waste time on him if he has a problem.

[rcoreyus]

I only masturbate when my wife is not available, never when I have the alternative of sex. If you search these forums you will find that a fair number of men do this, but I think it is generally considered a sign of a real porn addiction. It probably has nothing to do with you or anything you are doing or not doing.

If he isn't willing to seek help, then there may not be much future for you.

BTW - I think that porn is fine, but only as long as it doesn't interfere with someone's sex life

[jns]

Why do men like to masturbate more then sex?

My boyfriend masturbates over porn everyday and leaves me for weeks without sex

Y is he picking porn over are sex life?

I feel like im not enough for him and like im doing something wrong am I over reacting or is he addicted to porn?

Some men like to masturbate to porn more than sex. Others prefer a real, live partner.

For some men, I think it is what they grew up with since they were becoming teenagers. Masturbating to porn is their release. To them, that is as natural as breathing.

If he is choosing porn over having sex with you, it is about him and not about you. There are guys out there that favor sex over masturbation.

[a_dub]

I've only really known masturbation and yes, I like to watch porn. It feels pretty awesome most times and I can orgasm easily. If it ain't broke why fix it?

Plus, its too much trouble and work to finding an actual woman to have sex with. Women are too picky and too demanding. I'm not saying I don't find everyday women attractive. There are PLENTY of real live women I would love to have sex with, but they're not interested. I guess I'm just attracted to women who are way outta my league. So for me it makes sense to just masturbate to satisfy my urges. Actual sex is an impossibility since that mutual interest is impossible to achieve.

And I'm not even a hideously ugly or fat dude either. I'm average looking, and according to most people I know I'm pretty funny and have a good personality. In fact, when people find out I'm a 30 year old guy who's never been in a relationship, they pretty shocked. Which means that I'm obviously not some creepy loser like those rare folks who everyone knows has never been laid, and no one is surprised to find out they've never gotten any.

[Obelisk]

There are PLENTY of real live women I would love to have sex with, but they're not interested. I guess I'm just attracted to women who are way outta my league.

My personal experience with this is that women are enabled by society to seek (and get) guys above their league all the time.

I'm not really saying this as a put down on women, but more as a wake up call to you. If you are "average" why don't you work to become above average?

As far as sex, it's overrated. It only feel a lot better that masturbation if you have an emotional connection with the woman and they are genuinely enjoying it with you. Otherwise it's just as empty as stroking it yourself. Trust me on this one, been there done that.

[ItsAllAboutTheGirl]

Hi Amys87,

I know this is my first post here and I hope I don't get in trouble for this. I know I can't add any links to other websites but if you search for "your brain on porn" you will find some great information on what your boyfriend is having trouble with. There is far more information there than I can go into here. Suffice it to say I had the same problem and it definitely played a roll in destroying my marriage which led me to researching the problem more. Best of luck to you and please know this isn't about you, it's about his porn addiction.

[Obelisk]

I wish I could understand how guys get addicted to porn.

I've used it only as a last resort, and every time I had a real woman available to me, I picked the real woman hands down. When I was having regular sex with my last girl I went for about a month without even thinking about porn at all.

[ItsAllAboutTheGirl]

I wish I could understand how guys get addicted to porn.

Obelisk, for those prone to addiction it is supposed to be the dopamine rush. I've had issues with substances in the past that honesty were easier to shake then porn. It is so readily available and so much easier to please yourself than dealing with relationships. Plus you get as many women as you want doing whatever you may want at the click of a mouse. It's a recipe for disaster if you're an addictive personality. It's really sad and I"m determined not to let it back into my life and ruin any relationships with REAL women. I've now learned to appreciate my girlfriend for all the little things good and bad that make her a unique woman and it is a beautiful thing.

Amy, know that his problem is NOT you. I really hope your boyfriend can recognize his addiction and seek help for the both of you.