[nimanthi87]

hii,

So i got married at the beginning of this year. Me and my husband met 3 years ago. It's been almost 11 months since we have been married i feel like we have not taken our marriage seriously enough. We both are fun, likes to laugh a lot and a very sexual couple.

It all began when he wanted to try taking pics of me in the public. Initially, whenever he was taking a picture of me he had asked me to lift up my skirt or pull down my top. Of course he didn't want anyone else to see.. I was a bit scared but wasn't against it at the same time. We shared a good laugh after every picture and it was fun and exciting. We did this for some time and decided spiced things up, he wanted me take pics without any underwear and so on. This made our sex life so good, we both got turned on a lot. In shopping malls, a lot in cafes and restaurants, in the train and on the beach we did it the most. Some times getting caught by people got me even excited. When we went on vacation we took these kind of pics and then used go find places where there aren't people and have sex. I loved every bit of it. We used to come home and look at the pics and have fun.

We continued to do this after marriage as well. Last month we went on a trip and met some strangers in a beach and agreed to have a three way with two guys i have a never met before. My husband was ok with it, he said it'd me my only chance to do this plus he has always had fantasy of me doing strangers. I never knew about it until then. It was very good, i enjoyed it a lot and my husband too. After me and my husband go turned on just by thinking about it and we were such a sexual couple.

Now it's been a month i crave for some wild sex like that. Our sex life is good but it's just not enough for me, i haven't told him about it. We also agreed it's just a one time thing. Im worried about it as i don't know what this will do to us. I have kept my feelings inside but it's been very hard recently. I have had thoughts of meeting up some strangers and doing the exact thing without telling him. I think we have been extremely irresponsible with out marriage and things need to change but i don't know how.

[hot amy]

just do it if you feel that way I don't know about with strangers though I have done this with lovers but they have been men I have known
Ask your husband if he fancies another girl to do it with at the same time Sex is always good

[atskitty2]

I disagree with hot Amy. I don't think it's a good idea to go outside the bounds of your marriage behind your husband's back. If you both are open and have done this once, approach him gently and tell him the way you feel.

I think you realize this isn't good for a marriage-you say yourself that you feel you've not taken your marriage seriously. There are some couples however, that live very long and happy lives as swingers. But they pursue it together, not on the side.

[Stillness]

It seems like the sex itself is satisfying, but it's excitement that you're craving. Maybe you could get involved in some more exciting activities, like hang-gliding, four-wheeling, or scuba-diving. Get your thrills there and leave the sex satisfaction for you and your husband. We always hike wherever we go on vacation. That may sound tame, but it's fulfilling to explore together and to connect with nature while spending time together.

[Obelisk]

I disagree with hot Amy. I don't think it's a good idea to go outside the bounds of your marriage behind your husband's back. If you both are open and have done this once, approach him gently and tell him the way you feel.

Same here. It's not like the guy wouldn't be open to it, since he's done it before. Not my personal cup of tea, but there's already precedent here, no need to go behind hubby's back since they've done it before.

[jen1447]

You seem a bit conflicted, nimanthi87 - you want the marriage to be "serious," but you want risky sex as well, etc. I think it would be best if you decided in your mind first what your priorities are.

I also don't see any reason to deceive your husband regardless, being as he's been an advocate for this, and you say it's only been a month since you got up to the risky stuff anyway. That's not a very long time.

Have you tried to rekindle things with more of the public flashing/photo stuff?

[hot amy]

I did in no way suggest that she went on and did it behind her husband’s back I was lead to understand that her husband would be in on the act. And that he would be a willing partner to it.

[atskitty2]

Thanks for clarifying that hotamy. Sorry if my misunderstanding of your post offended you.

[DreamP346]

One of the main reasons swinging, threesoms and other non-traditional forms of relationships don't work is for this exact reason. It is entered into without much thought of the long term consequences and possibilities. I am not judging, just trying to point out why these things can easily fall apart. What you need to do is take a step back. Usually this is what you would have done before entering into the alternative sexual behavior, but doesn't mean you can't do it now.

First, have a long discussion with your partner. Actually have many. This is not something that can be negotiated in a single session. Consider seeing a sex therapist to help you navigate all the possibilities you haven't thought of. If not, do a lot of research into the things you are interested in. Talk to other couples who have successfully been able to navigate this lifestyle.

Second, be very clear with your partner about what you want, what are absolutes, what are suggestions and what are deal breakers. This is where you negotiate both your needs. It really is a negotiation. Talk about both your desires and what you want.

Thirds, set up boundaries and rules. Talk safety, disclosures. What are permitted and not. Will you tell the other person about outside sexual encounters or not, etc.

Forth, discuss consequences and possibilities. What if you start developing feelings for the other person? Jealousy? Societal implications?

Only after all this is sorted out, actually go and enjoy. Communication is key to alternate lifestyles. Also test the waters slowly. You don't have to do everything right away. Go slowly. You have your entire life together. Try one thing first. Sort out your feelings about it. Discuss. See if it is something you would like to do again or if you partner is comfortable doing again. Once you are comfortable with that, then try something else. Don't do all the different things are once and definitely do not engage in a new behavior until previous ones are sorted out, negotiated and resolved.

[hot amy]

I disagree with hot Amy. I don't think it's a good idea to go outside the bounds of your marriage behind your husband's back. If you both are open and have done this once, approach him gently and tell him the way you feel.

I think you realize this isn't good for a marriage-you say yourself that you feel you've not taken your marriage seriously. There are some couples however, that live very long and happy lives as swingers. But they pursue it together, not on the side.

Thank you again atskitty I am so glad you did not find me rude about the subject It is as I said before I would not want to upset any person on this forum I came on to it purely for exciting sex conversations. Let me introduce myself I am a 39 year old married, blonde. My interests are all aspects of sex. I have a loving relationship with my husband and we love having sex together regular. We like to masturbate ourselves before starting sex. We have a regular couple who we meet up with a few times month to share partners this is most gratifying. In this partnership (I hate to call it wife swapping) we also like to masturbate with our lovers and give each other oral sex, something that I believe should be reserved for lovers only, and finally ending with the full intercourse act. We don’t do this in the company of each other but in separate bedrooms. But we are not doing it behind each other’s back. We are not swingers in the sense of its definition we would only have sex with this couple, or ourselves it’s just more sexual excitement and a real turn on for my husband and I when we are later alone at home.