[JonDoe]

What do you wish your partner would do or say during sex to turn up the heat?

[jen1447]

******** ****** ******** ******** ******** **********!

Oh wait ...

[jen1447]

Seriously tho, I'm more turned on by what I say than whatever BF says ....with GFs it's different, not a lot of talking generally during. Before can be a different story.

[rcoreyus]

Words don't really do it for me either. I'd find typical "naughty" talk to be a bit silly.

[ItsASecret]

Holy I read this thread title and thought "what kind of person has a fetish involving habenero peppers and sex?" lol.

Anyway, I have not found something that would personally make me think the sex is hotter. Maybe just the passion?

I know my SO would prefer BDSM and I have done that with him but boy was that not my thing.

Words though like dirty talk does pretty much nothing, the odd that feels good is perfectly alright though. But vulgar, dirty, "nasty" talk...nah

[jen1447]

Effective dirty talk has to be well-timed and appropriate ....it can't just be randomly shouting "F my A!!!" and that sort of thing. Also it should be spontaneous, and most importantly, you have to mean it. So for example, randomly shouting "F my A!!!" if you're not into anal would be totally pointless and inappropriate.

However, a well-timed F-bomb, delivered not with a shout but conversationally and with steady eye-contact, ideally in a lead-in phase to sex, can be explosive. Even just that one little thing.

Basically if your dirty talk sounds like something you'd actually say, it's all good. If it sounds like you're reading from a script, it's just stupid. Also dirty talk doesn't have to be profanity ....it can be teases and stuff like that, like asking your partner what's the matter when you've got them aroused.

[jns]

I am more into actions than talk. I prefer a lover straddling me and putting her privates in my face, not too forcefully but with a bit of purpose.

[Stillness]

Also it should be spontaneous, and most importantly, you have to mean it.

"You mean the panties your mother laid out for you."

[atskitty2]

^^^lol...was that Seinfeld?...seems like I remember that line...

I'm with Jen...the right words at the right time can be a great boost, especially when things may be lagging on...it can put another log on the fire, so to speak.

What gets really annoying, distracting and a big turn off is when you get a play-by-play..."and now I'm going to..." Or, "i just put my ********** in your ************"...really? I hadn't noticed. It's too silly.

[JonDoe]

Effective dirty talk has to be well-timed and appropriate ....it can't just be randomly shouting "F my A!!!" and that sort of thing. Also it should be spontaneous, and most importantly, you have to mean it. So for example, randomly shouting "F my A!!!" if you're not into anal would be totally pointless and inappropriate.

Totally agree. A few months ago, my wife said exactly that. I immediately thought to myself, "OK, I'm game, but I know for sure you will object." Sure enough, she didn't really mean it as I explained in a recent post to this forum.

Simply saying "Oh, Jon!" (not my real name, but you get the point) would be an improvement over total silence. Even an occasional one word instruction would be nice. The silence was never an issue in the past, but for some reason in the past year or two, I feel disconnected by it, that is when we actually have sex, which is not often. Heck, at this point, it might even be hot if she shouted someone else's name, male or female.

I think it would be hot if she initiated changing positions, looked me in the eye with a seductive smile or whispered in my ear what she wanted me to do to her or what she wanted to do to me.

Massages work very well for her if she has already agreed to receiving a happy ending. Not sure if a massage would work for me or not as I have never received an offer for a massage from her. I suppose if I knew it would result in a happy ending that it could be hot for me too.