[HerHusband]

Years ago before we were married I have had some experience with 3 ways mostly from a couple friends who wanted another guy with the wife. I never was dating for long enough at that point to be in a couples situation.
For the last few years I have wondered about it. There have been a few shows on TV about it. Swingtown was one and the recent show on the cable I think on the health channel. Anyway we watched them. I tried to broach the subject but my wife shut it down right away. I have never had sex with another woman since we dated and wont but I know I could do so and keep it in perspective. That's why I have a certain respect for swingers. They seem to be able to enjoy sex with other people and not get into the affair status which wrecks marriages.
I am not sure what the circumstances would be that I would be open to us trying this but Im not willing to say never. Im not sure how I would react to my wife having sex acts with another person. Same room, different room, close friend, stranger or a acquaintance just in this arena. I think Id be OK at least once with it as far as not being jealous and I also think if she was just having fun without serious emotional connection beyond friendship Id be happy if she got pleasure from it.
Does that even make sense to the ladies?
I really am open minded sexually and want to live our life to the fullest while we can. My wife is my one and only and there will never be another. That doesn't mean I wouldn't like to have sex with female friends. If my wife told me tomorrow she wanted to bang Mr. whoever Id think about it. Probably be OK with it if it didn't turn into a distraction and Mr. whoever had a wife that was willing to reciprocate.
I think this will never come to pass but am interested in the opinions of other women here. Heck my wife has a friend I have known for a decade Id like to screw the heck out of but would not unless she was OK with it. No emotional baggage she is just cute and fun.

[jen1447]

It sounds a bit like you're actually interested in your wife sleeping with others as opposed to just being open-minded. I mention that just because it's a different kink than swinging.

As for swinging specifically, I never cared for cultures like that and say nudists, personally - too cliquey and frankly a bit weird. It's like they're in a club with memberships ....just puts me off. When I do my thing with GFs it's just girls doing what girls do lol, we don't go to strange dungeons or have bisexual ID cards or secret handshakes or winks that say what's going on to other cult members.

Probably the most important thing tho is that if your wife already turned this down, you should respect that and give it up. If she's secretly on the fence, some subtle suggestions might encourage her but if she actually means what she says, you'll only irritate her by pursuing it. Saying "I want you to eff other guys" when she's not at all into that is a bit more severe an offense than most things.

[atskitty2]

I'm a woman and don't mind sharing my thoughts
If I understood you, your wife didn't seem open to the idea when you halfheartedly brought it up? So are you planning to bring it up in a more straight forward way or continue hinting to sort of feel out her ideas?

[Josephlin101]

As a man, I understand the desire to have a variety of sexual partners, to enjoy the different experience. I fantasize that too. For me personally though, the possible consequences are what I can't risk. That's probably just me.

I've heard quite a few stories like the following: a husband finally persuaded the wife to swing. However, he got very self-conscious when he saw the other man's penis to be much bigger, and got almost crazy and upset when that man made his wife orgasmed, panted, moaned over and over and over for 2 straight hours right in front of his eyes. This husband later said "I so much want to punch my wife on the face" (yup, selfish *******). Another story involves a couple bringing a man from a bar to have sex with the wife. But at the moment when the man managed to wipe off her polite smile and replace with a contorted face from the pleasure she had had not felt for decades, both he and his wife regretted it. When the man left, the wife cried, and the husband couldn't face her.

I was a virgin when I got married at 28, and my wife was my 1st girlfriend ever. So yes, I sometimes (ok, often) do wonder how it would feel like to have sex with other women. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't like hideously ugly or nerdy. It was due to religion (ironically, I don’t go to church anymore). If I wanted I did have some chances. Now I do sometimes feel like “missing” something. But I learn to accept that. After all, sex is important, but not everything. I can’t risk everything I have just now for some physical pleasure.

[Stillness]

Well said, Joseph. My feeling is if you want some variety, why not seek it within your marriage?

[Josephlin101]

Well said, Joseph. My feeling is if you want some variety, why not seek it within your marriage?

Good point. It takes a lot of communication and understanding. My own solution is writing down my own fantasies though.

[HerHusband]

Jen. I think the term you refer to is cuckold I think and no, that's not my intent. I would like to have sex with other women. Just good clean fun between adults. It would not be fair for me not to give her the same option. I know that there are instances of the wife allowing another woman to join in which is pretty high up on my and a lot of guys list.
I don't think it will happen but when the time is right I'd like her to tell me what specificly she does not like. Me with another woman or her with another man. Or both.

Joseph, I think your doing a bit of projecting from possibly your own insecurities. First some of your "stories" are just that. I'm sure it has happened but I'm also sure there is a flip side of that coin. Other than penis size if it came to pass and she had a good time I'd try to learn a few new trick she had discovered she liked.
There isn't a secret agenda just the desire to occasionaly, pardon me if it's crude, but occasionaly bang the snot out of another woman. I think it might add to our sex as well.
But as I said before. This happens or not I won't go behind her back.

[HerHusband]

Plus I'd like to hear more from the woman's view on why the take whatever position they do on this.

[Josephlin101]

Joseph, I think your doing a bit of projecting from possibly your own insecurities. First some of your "stories" are just that. I'm sure it has happened but I'm also sure there is a flip side of that coin. Other than penis size if it came to pass and she had a good time I'd try to learn a few new trick she had discovered she liked.
There isn't a secret agenda just the desire to occasionaly, pardon me if it's crude, but occasionaly bang the snot out of another woman. I think it might add to our sex as well.
But as I said before. This happens or not I won't go behind her back.

Yeah, insecurities, maybe--I think I am an insecure man. But it does happen to quite a few swingers, and "tricks" aren't able to compensate it--for some reasons the wife just orgasms way many more times and much stronger from another man, or the husband reacts way more intense to another woman. Then they start meeting behind their partners' back. That's one of the real problems of swinging, quite a few swingers complain about that. But on the other hand, I also heard some swingers do enjoy their lives. At least for a while. Guess they work something out, and it's good for them.

My issues aren't just physical pleasure though. As I said, it probably is just me, but for me: 1) jealousy is going to be a big issue, 2) I can't separate sex from love. Before I have sex with another woman, I need to have some emotional connection with her; after I have sex with her, I definitely will fall in love with her. That's just me and I can't help it. I definitely am not a good candidate of swinging. You probably are different and are able to handle those possible issues well, in that case good for you and best wishes. Hope everything works out between you and your wife.

[HerHusband]

It sounds a bit like you're actually interested in your wife sleeping with others as opposed to just being open-minded. I mention that just because it's a different kink than swinging.

As for swinging specifically, I never cared for cultures like that and say nudists, personally - too cliquey and frankly a bit weird. It's like they're in a club with memberships ....just puts me off. When I do my thing with GFs it's just girls doing what girls do lol, we don't go to strange dungeons or have bisexual ID cards or secret handshakes or winks that say what's going on to other cult members.

Probably the most important thing tho is that if your wife already turned this down, you should respect that and give it up. If she's secretly on the fence, some subtle suggestions might encourage her but if she actually means what she says, you'll only irritate her by pursuing it. Saying "I want you to eff other guys" when she's not at all into that is a bit more severe an offense than most things.

I made my first reply on my phone so I tried to keep it short but just wanted to cover all the things I though of.
Jen,
Im curious and if its not prying do you have some girlfriend bi action? I think its cool but Im strictly hetro so that wont happen with me. the bi with guy thing I don't think there is any argument the female body and sex is just way better looking than men. It seems to me that women are more likely to be bi than men. From what my limited personal experience has been girls are more comfortable with each other and men than men are at going back and forth with men as well. The times in the past I was involved in sex and there was another man involved I had no interest in that direction but was totally fine in the incidental contact. Not a DP but just the contact that comes in a situation like that. The girl was the focus sexually. Id be over the top if my wife had any kind of bi interest but I don't see it. She has made comments about hot women in movies like Jennifer Anniston like " hell she is so good looking Id do her" which I agreed and offered to watch. She had not comment other than a laugh and said "right" like its not its a joke.