[Justice]

I think a lot of people forget women can be some like guys. Where the sex is the only thing they really want nothing else they don't care about the dinner the movie and god forbid the flowers. it takes a women and a man to have sex and when they done a peck on the cheek then off to the next guy or girl . That is the real one night stand where a FB A little more thought out with dinner and movie maybe flowers but just no commitment to be with each other and there harder relationship to see happening then the one night stands. You go to any night club across this country and you will see many women and men who will hook up with one night stands then maybe never see each other ever again.

I guess I might be considered old fashioned - but I really am not a fan of this in general. (of course I actually went to bars to hear the bands and dance, not to hook up with a stranger.)

While I have posted that I have considered a FWB Relationship, I only would consider it in or as a kind of relationship or even a commitment.
Plus - although I might get arguments - I think circumstances can vary. for example I only considered it as I am over 50 and not involved with anyone else. I am post menopausal (so cannot get pregnant). And not with a partner having a bunch of other partners at the same time.

I think the overly-casual especially one and done is not healthy in a lot of ways. Emotionally as well as physically. Young people, especially girls who are thinking it is "necessary" when they do not really want to. Worries about pregnancy and disease. emotional land mines. Crazy obsessive exes or never were BF/GF. So many cases of domestic violence. If you have children think about your kids. Do you think they are more likely to consider (or you for them) it a mistake for waiting or for messing with a (near) stranger?

It ties to this thread and a couple other active threads like the one about regrets. I have to guess that more people regret stupid ONS or relationships than waiting until they were in love or at least had a lot of trust.

In general I think married or committed couples should be free to go at it like bunnies. It gets grayer I think when I read posts like "Valentines Day'" - where it is not all long term commitments, but even there does seem to be more maturity and caring. Again more like at least FRIENDs with Benefits. A little older and more mature. Others have posted about self respect; I guess that might be what I am thinking about.

I really am not judging but so many of the post here could be read by the young who hear very few voices taking a different view. (ugh . . .but everyone does it...)

Of course every one is free to act as they wish, but I just don't know that you would ever have to face as many cautions/warnings to be fair, considerate, or honest when you are discussing some kind of real relationship rather than when it seems like you are Using another person.

[Trixareforkids]

I guess I might be considered old fashioned - but I really am not a fan of this in general. (of course I actually went to bars to hear the bands and dance, not to hook up with a stranger.)

While I have posted that I have considered a FWB Relationship, I only would consider it in or as a kind of relationship or even a commitment.
Plus - although I might get arguments - I think circumstances can vary. for example I only considered it as I am over 50 and not involved with anyone else. I am post menopausal (so cannot get pregnant). And not with a partner having a bunch of other partners at the same time.

I think the overly-casual especially one and done is not healthy in a lot of ways. Emotionally as well as physically. Young people, especially girls who are thinking it is "necessary" when they do not really want to. Worries about pregnancy and disease. emotional land mines. Crazy obsessive exes or never were BF/GF. So many cases of domestic violence. If you have children think about your kids. Do you think they are more likely to consider (or you for them) it a mistake for waiting or for messing with a (near) stranger?

It ties to this thread and a couple other active threads like the one about regrets. I have to guess that more people regret stupid ONS or relationships than waiting until they were in love or at least had a lot of trust.

In general I think married or committed couples should be free to go at it like bunnies. It gets grayer I think when I read posts like "Valentines Day'" - where it is not all long term commitments, but even there does seem to be more maturity and caring. Again more like at least FRIENDs with Benefits. A little older and more mature. Others have posted about self respect; I guess that might be what I am thinking about.

I really am not judging but so many of the post here could be read by the young who hear very few voices taking a different view. (ugh . . .but everyone does it...)

Of course every one is free to act as they wish, but I just don't know that you would ever have to face as many cautions/warnings to be fair, considerate, or honest when you are discussing some kind of real relationship rather than when it seems like you are Using another person.

Justice, I get that you're coming at this from a different viewpoint and that's actually good to have on here. But for someone who can emotionally handle these types of relationships they can be quite beneficial. We ALL crave human contact and for those that can't or don't currently want to deal with the emotional commitment side of things (for whatever reasons) these kind of relationships can work.

Also, no one who doesn't WANT to have sex should be having sex. If sex is completely tied to other emotions for someone that person, like Jen and you and many others would need the more committed relationship and wouldn't be happy with the no/little emotion relationships and therefore would hopefully be smart enough to avoid them.

It's why we all talked so much about communication and trying to ensure that both parties agree before diving into this type of relationship. Yes, things can and do change and if/when that happens it needs to be dealt with, hopefully in the nicest and gentlest way possible. However, myself and many others have enjoyed a no/little emotion relationship and come away better happier people from them.

To each his/her own. If we know what we are and are not and are honest with ourselves and any potential partners we'll ALL be much happier.

[jen1447]

Going totally OT for a moment here but I had to share .....

I had one of those song lyrics revelations last night when listening to Night Moves thanks to jns. (You know, that thing where you forever had either an impression about some lyrics that was wrong or just plain had the lyrics themselves wrong and only realize it like years and years later.) So anyway, Seger. After the "woke last night to the sound of thunder ...." interlude verse, he then again refers to thunder at the end of the song - "saw the lightning, waited on the thunder." Well, for 30 years apparently I've thought the thunder line was unrelated and was some type of metaphor for awesomeness, like he was waiting on awesomeness to arrive as he "waited on the thunder." Then last night, after all this time, I was like "um wait ...." He was obviously waiting on thunder because he saw the lightning, and as we all know, sound moves slower than the speed of light, which is why you see lightning and then hear thunder after. So good old Bob was not waiting on awesomeness all this time, he was just waiting for the sound of the lightning to catch up with the light from it. Jeez.

edit, actually I think that line comes before the interlude verse. At the end he just goes "yeah ............................." etc.

[Trixareforkids]

We need to start a new topic, call it " 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy" LOL

[Justice]

As I wrote

Of course every one is free to act as they wish, but I just don't know that you would ever have to face as many cautions/warnings to be fair, considerate, or honest when you are discussing some kind of real relationship rather than when it seems like you are Using another person.

..it is not very different from most other posts here.

But for someone who can emotionally handle these types of relationships they can be quite beneficial

/sigh - "relationships" - one night stands? Fun for some, for a while. (...until someone loses an eye ) Beneficial? Not in practice for most people and in most cases.

However, myself and many others have enjoyed a no/little emotion relationship and come away better happier people from them.

I believe I am entitled to my opinion, which "many" people share. It SEEMS TO ME (IMO) that sometimes guys will post to a women-oriented site looking for what lines will work to get them into as many girls pants. It can be a strategy. I personally would not like to be a party to deception. I have this vision of one of your daughters running into a guy who can to a site to find out what to say/do and then to have the parent find out he used it on you daughter. Thinking back to much earlier that sounds like where the predator comments could have come into play.

****moderators, I am NOT assigning this to any individual.

[Trixareforkids]

(...until someone loses an eye )

This really made me LOL! Well imagining what would cause someone to potentially get jabbed in the eye did anyway

[Trixareforkids]

Beneficial? Not in practice for most people and in most cases.

I believe part of this attitude comes from the fact that more that people don't talk about their GOOD no-attachment sexual relationships nearly as much as they DO talk about their bad ones. People, especially women don't want to be thought of as ****ty for having a good sex-only relationship. Just like there are a lot more people HAVING anal sex than there are people who ADMIT to having anal sex.

I was going to say more about communications, but we've been there done that enough, lol


Sorry, still haven't figured out how to multi-quote so I'm responding to each thing separately. One more to go

[Motorguy]

We need to start a new topic, call it " 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy" LOL

A great line in a song by Jimmy Hendrix lol.

Not counting the line by Lou Reed ( He/She never lost his head while giving head. lol

[Trixareforkids]

I have this vision of one of your daughters running into a guy who can to a site to find out what to say/do and then to have the parent find out he used it on you daughter. Thinking back to much earlier that sounds like where the predator comments could have come into play.

This I have no worries about, I practice what I preach and I preach it to my children/family/friends as well, so if a child of mine were to have an issue I'd be there for them and we'd go over the communications issue again. My older daughter is actually dating her first guy, until she met him she was women only and the 1st girl, UGH! I was terribly happy when they finally broke it off permanently. She's in another state and always on the go so we don't get to chat much lately but her current relationship is going well and she's never had a problem calling me to talk if she wants/needs advice. For my little one I actually plan on using the Nina Hartly book introduction as her sex ed. She's already fascinated by anatomy and we have a ton of anatomy books which we'll go into details with when the time comes. Until and unless I can get her in a Subury type school we're home/unschooling. I treat my daughters like people not children (well 98% of the time) and I talk to them like I would any other person, I may tailor my language so that they'll better understand but I don't gloss over or dumb-down any subject that comes up.

[Trixareforkids]

A great line in a song by Jimmy Hendrix lol.

Not counting the line by Lou Reed ( He/She never lost his head while giving head. lol

Great line!