[Patti-here]

Don't play games with fire, you'll only get burned in the end.

[Motorguy]

Well they say couples who are married and engage in a open relationship tend to have a longer marriage. There's no jealousy in there relationship it's not for the love but only sex nothing else.

[Motorguy]

Don't play games with fire, you'll only get burned in the end.

Very true Patti very good quote that many people should live by. Plus don't crap where you eat that don't work either.

[jen1447]

Open relationships are very different than the cuckold lifestyle tho ....look at muffin's remarks (not picking on you muffin, just illustrating the point) - the appeal of the fantasy of his wife being with another man is based entirely on feelings of inferiority - it's implied or stated that his penis is small, he doesn't last long, and he can't "fully satisfy" her, not to mention the implicit state of being submissive to her by the fact that she's the one being serviced, not him, and that her satisfaction is most important. So it's not a matter of them both having other partners just for fun and variety. He has to be humiliated to some degree for it to appeal.

I understand that there is a subset of the cuckold thing that doesn't include that and is moreso just a matter of a man enjoying his wife's pleasure, however she gets it, but muffin's inferiority angle shows that's he's in the other more customary cuckold relationship group. Again, this is fine, but to actually carry it out means that it's no longer a fantasy but a reality. It can be a lot different to roleplay a certain kink than to really be that thing, and the weight of that realization might be quite a lot to accept and deal with when it's stripped of the sexual arousal part.

I know a few people who live or lived this way, and it basically requires a full time and permanent commitment to change or adopt that true identity, which itself requires a very narrow subset of personality characteristics. In other words, it's not (at all) for the faint of heart, and if you wade into it and discover after the fact that you don't have what it takes to be that guy, you're in deep trouble.

[Motorguy]

Open relationships are very different than the cuckold lifestyle tho ....look at muffin's remarks (not picking on you muffin, just illustrating the point) - the appeal of the fantasy of his wife being with another man is based entirely on feelings of inferiority - it's implied or stated that his penis is small, he doesn't last long, and he can't "fully satisfy" her, not to mention the implicit state of being submissive to her by the fact that she's the one being serviced, not him, and that her satisfaction is most important. So it's not a matter of them both having other partners just for fun and variety. He has to be humiliated to some degree for it to appeal.

I understand that there is a subset of the cuckold thing that doesn't include that and is moreso just a matter of a man enjoying his wife's pleasure, however she gets it, but muffin's inferiority angle shows that's he's in the other more customary cuckold relationship group. Again, this is fine, but to actually carry it out means that it's no longer a fantasy but a reality. It can be a lot different to roleplay a certain kink than to really be that thing, and the weight of that realization might be quite a lot to accept and deal with when it's stripped of the sexual arousal part.

I know a few people who live or lived this way, and it basically requires a full time and permanent commitment to change or adopt that true identity, which itself requires a very narrow subset of personality characteristics. In other words, it's not (at all) for the faint of heart, and if you wade into it and discover after the fact that you don't have what it takes to be that guy, you're in deep trouble.

Very good point Jenn and so very true. Many guys it is a fantasy of thinking of there wife's or girl friend would be hot and erotic watching them with another guy but deep down when she starts to enjoy way to much then the jealousy kicks in and it's not any fun and erotic anymore. So basically you better think what you wish for in your cuckold life style.

[jen1447]

Many guys it is a fantasy of thinking of there wife's or girl friend would be hot and erotic watching them with another guy

That reminds me of another discussion from a while ago we were supposed to follow up on, basically the question of why this is. I read somewhere that men might find it sexually arousing for the women in their lives to be mated with by other men purely on a biological level due to the impetus to compete when sexual rivals are around. In other words, you see a rival mating with a female ('yours') and your instinct is to mate as well if possible so as to have your sperm at least compete with his. Being as we're not animals anymore tho, this response has little practical value with modern humans, however that impracticality doesn't stop the biological response. But it also leads to the appearance of a cuckolded man who is unable to stop himself being aroused at the sight of his woman mating with a rival.

Any thoughts on this, men of WHF? (Women too.) I'll admit it always puzzled me a bit as to why some guys would find their wives or GFs doing other men 'hot.'

[muffin70]

Open relationships are very different than the cuckold lifestyle tho ....look at muffin's remarks (not picking on you muffin, just illustrating the point) - the appeal of the fantasy of his wife being with another man is based entirely on feelings of inferiority - it's implied or stated that his penis is small, he doesn't last long, and he can't "fully satisfy" her, not to mention the implicit state of being submissive to her by the fact that she's the one being serviced, not him, and that her satisfaction is most important. So it's not a matter of them both having other partners just for fun and variety. He has to be humiliated to some degree for it to appeal.

I understand that there is a subset of the cuckold thing that doesn't include that and is moreso just a matter of a man enjoying his wife's pleasure, however she gets it, but muffin's inferiority angle shows that's he's in the other more customary cuckold relationship group. Again, this is fine, but to actually carry it out means that it's no longer a fantasy but a reality. It can be a lot different to roleplay a certain kink than to really be that thing, and the weight of that realization might be quite a lot to accept and deal with when it's stripped of the sexual arousal part.

I know a few people who live or lived this way, and it basically requires a full time and permanent commitment to change or adopt that true identity, which itself requires a very narrow subset of personality characteristics. In other words, it's not (at all) for the faint of heart, and if you wade into it and discover after the fact that you don't have what it takes to be that guy, you're in deep trouble.

well I actually mentioned this to my wife last night.... I told her I'd had the same dream a couple of times where she is being screwed by a dark skinned man with a very large penis, while I watch and join in.... she laughed and said she wouldn't want to do that and I am just right for her....

[Motorguy]

That reminds me of another discussion from a while ago we were supposed to follow up on, basically the question of why this is. I read somewhere that men might find it sexually arousing for the women in their lives to be mated with by other men purely on a biological level due to the impetus to compete when sexual rivals are around. In other words, you see a rival mating with a female ('yours') and your instinct is to mate as well if possible so as to have your sperm at least compete with his. Being as we're not animals anymore tho, this response has little practical value with modern humans, however that impracticality doesn't stop the biological response. But it also leads to the appearance of a cuckolded man who is unable to stop himself being aroused at the sight of his woman mating with a rival.

Any thoughts on this, men of WHF? (Women too.) I'll admit it always puzzled me a bit as to why some guys would find their wives or GFs doing other men 'hot.'

Well Jenn, it's like for them that there watching there own live porn not on a computer screen or DVD. They not really thinking it's there wife or girl friend having sex with another man or women but the act of it for them like a live porn show. It's my only guess with all this.

[Patti-here]

What is normal, can someone explain what 'normal' is,, we're all individuals, and it means different things to different people.

[Motorguy]

What is normal, can someone explain what 'normal' is,, we're all individuals, and it means different things to different people.

So Patti are we saying different strokes for different folks is that the general idea on this topic lol.