[Justice]

Why does homosexuality make men seem less masculine? My (horribly stereotyped) image of a gay man is someone who spends way to much time in in the gym trying to sculpt the perfect body.

So to me and many people know it is the extremely effeminate,swish-y lisping gay man. And interestingly to me - I never have a problem with the people who don't fit the negative stereotypes - but I have to say that the "swish-y" or butch do make me a bit uncomfortable (not to any degree where I think discrimination or harassment are ever acceptable) just more in the way that someone is so different from your view of "normal". Like extremely different cultures (I don't mean race, I mean drugs/alcohol, or lazy or crazy or where women are chatel. )

A young family member is a lesbian and her prior GF was quite a bit older - but neither was the least bit "butch" - and despite our family almost all being Catholic they were always welcome (yes lesbians vs gay guys? )

But also the male (gay) boss of a family member is welcomed at quite a few family gatherings with no problems. I like him and his BFs (two serious over many years).

But further along the line of the appearance and non-sexual behaviors... I worked at a company where the young man who sat next to me - was kind of flaming. This is 20 yrs ago and he wore nail polish, "swished" and had signs in his office like "I go from 0 to b-tch on # seconds" Now the young straight men who worked around me would call each other gay and f-gs. (but not right around the co-worker.) I told them to knock it off


They did not understand that it was not just about being appropriate... they did not know that the 2 of 4 managers whose offices were across the hall, were gay. They both had been married to women previously. One was kind of the "bear" described above. The other was not effeminate, but he certainly was not super masculine. I told them you never know who is and who isn't or who you might offend. so I told the young men if you cannot refrain for others, they should refrain for their own interests.

So over the years I've come to think that for a lot of people - people often don't care how/who you have sex (with), it is more about what people consider weird or foreign about the person's appearance/behavior.

[Trixareforkids]

This brings up a question - in fantasy how do people feel about hermaphrodites etc. If you fantasize about someone who is a mix of male and female, what parts do you imagine as what genders.

Took my aunt out to play darts at the local gay bar where I hang out (on the occasions I go out) and they're always running DVDs of clips of naked men on the monitors and out of nowhere she blurts "if anything ever happens to Bill I'm gonna find me a chic with a d---" I burst out laughing from the randomness but she assured us that she was being completely serious. She was sick of men and loved **** but wanted a real penis, so that's what she wants if she's ever single again.

I've never wanted any kind of mix, I like men and appreciate women with an occasional 'I'd do her' moment.

[LilahX]

I couldn't agree more!! I'm definitely bi-sexual. I adore sex with men and women but while sex with women turns me on, is exciting, sensual erotic t I have NO desire to have a relationship with a woman. That thought holds no appeal whatsoever. I love them women friends but could never love one in the romantic sense of the word.

I agree that true bi-relational people are rare.

I'm lucky to be in a r/ship where my partner supports me in every aspect of my sexuality (and visa versa). If everyone could be as fortunate as I am there would be less confused/frustrated/depressed people in unfulfilled relationships.

[jen1447]

I tend to agree (about the support, not the girl romance but hey we're all different).