[rcoreyus]

I've seen interesting tests claiming that if you look at arousal in men and women from looking at naked pictures of men and women, you get very different results. The majority of men are either attracted to men or to women, but not both. There are certainly some that are attracted to both, but not so many. Women on the other hand are much more likely to be attracted to both men and women, though maybe more to one than the other.

No idea if this is innate or learned behavior.

[Trixareforkids]

Justice, while we both have small mouths and jaw/gagging issues there's probably enough differences in our issues that what would be fine for one of us would make the other gag.

I'm curious, is your gag reaction constant? Mine changes, like my lactose intolerance, sometimes it's fine as long as I'm mindful of it and other times the slightest thing sets it off. Also, how often do you gag when brushing your teeth? When my gag reaction is acting up I can only brush the fronts and do a light mouthwash swish.

[Motorguy]

Well i agree, what's not to love about the vajay I love that idea a lot.

[Stillness]

I guess maybe my attraction for men is more intangible (attracted to 'man-ness')

It's what I imagine attraction to men to be. I don't see it. I do find some beauty in men, but it's similar to my appreciation for the beauty of an animal or a car.

Also I've had some decent tofu dishes, but I'm more of a seitan man. I had some vegan "ribs" in Chicago once that would make a hardcore carnivore think twice.

[Trixareforkids]

I've seen interesting tests claiming that if you look at arousal in men and women from looking at naked pictures of men and women, you get very different results. The majority of men are either attracted to men or to women, but not both. There are certainly some that are attracted to both, but not so many. Women on the other hand are much more likely to be attracted to both men and women, though maybe more to one than the other.

No idea if this is innate or learned behavior.

I'd be interested in these tests, I'd be looking to see if there's any bias in the way the tests are presented. How it's presented and exactly what is presented can make a huge difference. For instance, how large and varied were sample pictures. If the pics didn't represent a good cross-section of ethnic groups, size ranges, feminine to masculine (men and women) then I'd say the data that came from it wasn't very reliable. I mean think about how varied our tastes are, while there are some people that the majority of us would agree are pleasing to look at, that doesn't necessarily make them arousing to the majority of people. I also wonder how they defined aroused, was is self reporting and if it was a physical response test, really, how does that work

For instance, I do not find muscular guys arousing, just the opposite in fact, though I can appreciate the aesthetics of a cut body the more cut they are the less sexually appealing they are to me. I like some softness, little bits I can grab onto and long noses, I noticed a couple of years ago that the guys I find most attractive all have long noses, not broad, just long. Eyes and hands are two of my other things big things, I like long fingers and an eye shape that I can't describe. And they can't be very hairy, I like a little belly fuzz but overall the less hairy the better. I'm in my 40s I've been able to analyse what I like in a man so if there weren't a lot of representations of the type of man I like it would skew the data. I've never really analysed my taste in women I guess because it's more nebulous. I'm bi-curious but I'm only really attracted to a few women and other than Angelina Jolie I honestly can't remember the last woman I thought was "do-able" I've admired parts of women's bodies but not a lot of whole packages. Like I think a tan soft belly is beautiful and I like slightly drooping mid-sized breasts but beyond that I got nothin' well there's hair, but I'm not discriminatory there I like all different kinds of hair on men and women and also like a bald head

But I think everyone is like me in that they have very specific things they like in the sex they most prefer and are pretty vague about the other sex, there's some they'll find attractive but less that they'll find arousing. I also think that women find women attractive more than men find men attractive simply because we're given the green light to look at both sexes in that way from the get go while men are not.

[Trixareforkids]

Wait, just thought of two other "do-able" women, Elizabeth Shue and Liv Tyler.

[effy2014]

This is a very thought provoking topic. Every contributor has really advanced this discussion.

I see two points (well three if you count positioning for cunnilingus). I agree with Trix's original post -- that our fantasies don't usually correlate to what we want to bring into our relationships. Threesomes or wife-sharing may be arousing in videos or daydreams but the reality in a long term committed relationship - watching someone have sex with your wife or husband - would (to me) be incredibly damaging to the emotional connection. I also don't think it makes someone gay to think about engaging in the activity or even experimenting. You never know until you try.

The second point exposes such long term biases in our culture that won't change anytime soon. While male sexual relationships were normal in Roman times, the rise of religion ended all of that. It's not just cultural bias -- for more than a thousand years, we have been told that homosexuals will rot in hell. Governments -- based on their ties with religion -- outlawed homosexual conduct. It is only very recently that the practice has been accepted. In Western society, we are just beginning to recognize gay marriage. In some African and Asian countries, gay men are still executed.

Lesbianism, although still the subject of discrimination, has never evoked the same passionate negativity. Part of it may be the almost universal belief, which will change over time, that gay men are less of a man but a gay woman is never less of a woman. Against this overwhelming cultural norm, it is understandable that straight men would almost never admit to finding another man attractive. It will take a lot of time for this to change, especially when the religious right keeps up the fight.

Me . . . I've always wanted to be a lesbian. I sure do enjoy the female body .....

[Stillness]

Homosexuality makes men seem less masculine and women less feminine, but I admit that it does seem more diminishing with men somehow. Maybe because I associate masculity with leadership and femininity with support? There can be many supporters, but only one leader. I don't know.

[rcoreyus]

Why does homosexuality make men seem less masculine? My (horribly stereotyped) image of a gay man is someone who spends way to much time in in the gym trying to sculpt the perfect body.

[Stillness]

To me, masculinity is associated with headship and desire for a woman. Desire for a man is feminine. Union with a man is feminine.