[Trixareforkids]

[QUOTE=Motorguy;370970]

I think you're too dominant to enjoy it. I'm more controlling than dominant. I could get down with it in the right mood [/QUood OTE]\

Good morning Trix you are like my wife she is not dominant but likes to control the situation in the bed room. I enjoy being on the ride like a hitchhiker on a joy ride lol.

Nope, ya got it backwards, I control the rest of my life so I'm occasionally willing to relinquish control and be the submissive in sex.

[jen1447]

I think you're too dominant to enjoy it.

You're probably right lol. The BF's in that spot far more than I ever am. I'm okay with almost any scenario tho potentially, but what's more important than the logistics is that there will be the basics of respect at the heart of any play at all times ....if he ever violates that, he'll likely find himself 90% of the way there and then suddenly saddled with an extreme case of blue balls when I walk away before his 'moment of triumph' arrives.

[Trixareforkids]

Well the funniest part about me being the "submissive" is that contrary to what most people believe, that's actually the control position. BDSM is so mis-portrayed. I'm only into the BD part but even still is all about trust, actual trust, NO ONE gives up control to someone they don't trust AND ultimate control is in the hands of the sub because all you have to do is say the word and the game is over. Me being sub is me being lazy, letting someone else do the thinking/planning is relaxing and if a blindfold or bondage of any sort is involved it's titillating to relax into it and just wait for the next sensation.

[jen1447]

That's an interesting topic that's probably deserving of its own thread ....suffice it to say that I don't agree entirely. While there are parts that are obviously true (safe words dictating control of the situation, etc.), I disagree that in the big picture, a sub is somehow 'in charge' of a relationship. It's far more complex than what's going on just in the bedroom.

[rcoreyus]

BDSM is (or should be) all about play, not reality. Whether or not someone enjoys playing dominant or submissive in bed may not be at all related to how they are in the rest of their relationship or life. (the 24/7 sort of DS relationships disturb me). The terminology can be very confusing. Forcing someone to give a BJ is very different from "forcing" someone to give a BJ. Making someone do something they really don't want to do , is completely different from pretending to make them do something they pretend they don't want to do (but really do).

This is actually clearer in BDSM relationships where there are safe-words etc. It can be very fuzzy when people are dominant / submissive in bed but there hasn't been any explicit agreement on consent.

[Motorguy]

[QUOTE=Trixareforkids;370979]

Nope, ya got it backwards, I control the rest of my life so I'm occasionally willing to relinquish control and be the submissive in sex.

Oh OK Trix I think most women are the submissive ones in bed as my wife takes the bull by the horn and wants to control what we are doing. And I don't argue because I know it's going to be well worth it lol.

[Gary7]

Its funny, for me BJs are largely a visual thing - wouldn't be nearly as much fun if I couldn't see what was going on. (different strokes etc..)

I totally agree with this. Also auditory. I love to hear the moans that show she's enjoying the experience, and the, well, more base sounds made during the act as well.

[Trixareforkids]

I disagree that in the big picture, a sub is somehow 'in charge' of a relationship. It's far more complex than what's going on just in the bedroom.

Well there's a very big difference between BDSM play and a BDSM lifestyle. The 1st appeals to a much larger group, some of whom are turned off by the thought of the lifestylers. My BFF was training as a DOM before she moved to BFE with her hubby. He'll sub occasionally and he's a boy scout troupe leader and apparently is quite good with knots so they do some bondage, they switch things up quite a bit in the bedroom and it all stays in the bedroom. Neither is interested in it as a lifestyle. We haven't been able to indulge in a while but hubby loves the visual of bondage and I like a bit of vanilla subbing but again it's all play.

[Patti-here]

Some guys feel there in control more when you doing that. They can hold your head and control the action more that way. Plus is a very hot look for the guy as well.

LOL,, sorry but I just saw this,, I know exactly what I'm doing, and my head is not a steering wheel haha...

[jen1447]

Trix, what's a BFE?