[Trixareforkids]

Ok, I watched this Upworthy video (LOVE UPWORTHY!!) and with all the talk we do on here about sex and relationships I think it's a good topic. I think anyone in a LTR has done their share of 'default' sex, don't really feel like it but you do anyway. It's a grey area in LTRs I believe but in dating and new relationships I think it's pretty black and white and that most people should know what consent actually looks like. I know we can't link videos here and I agree with that but I've split up the link so that anyone who wants to can find it. I really think all young people and quite a few adults would benefit from seeing it, and I think we should jaw about it here in relation to LTRs, where the grey areas are, what is/isn't acceptable.

[link removed - not allowed!]

[Patti-here]

I'm sorry.

What's an LTR ??

[Trixareforkids]

Sorry, there I go with the acronyms again... Long-term relationshp

P.S. Well technically they're abbreviations, acronyms actually make a new/pronounceable word. Word nerd here...

[Trixareforkids]

P.S. Well technically they're abbreviations, acronyms actually make a new/pronounceable word. Word nerd here...

Ha, just double checked this for the argument that I knew I might get and dang if they haven't updated the official definition to include non-words and just be the initial letters of a phrase or what have you. Wonder if that happened due to the advent of texting/chat?

[Patti-here]

Sorry, there I go with the acronyms again... Long-term relationshp

P.S. Well technically they're abbreviations, acronyms actually make a new/pronounceable word. Word nerd here...

LOL,, no worries, abbreviations make my mind wobble a bit sometimes...

[effy2014]

I have seen a lot of articles and videos recently about the topic of consent and, frankly, it's about time. My daughter introduced me to slam poetry and I have seen a couple of presentations on consent as well. As the father of a 20 year old daughter, no means no. The point of the video is well taken. Coercion includes efforts to wear-down a woman's no.

I have read a blog on Tumblr called self care after rape. Reading some of the stories women posted of the trauma caused when they were so pressured as to give grudging consent should give any real man pause. The lesson for a man is to get unequivocal consent from a sober woman and immediately respect a no with no further pressure.

[effy2014]

If you want to see the slam poem go on YouTube and search for "Rape Poem To End All Rape Poems" by Rutgers University.

[Trixareforkids]

My daughter introduced me to slam poetry

Funny, I write poetry but it was my daughter who introduced me to slam/spoken word poetry poetry as well. There's a lot of good stuff out there, one of my favorites is Bob Ross, Give Me Strength by Scott Woods, funny stuff!

[Stillness]

There have been some interesting discussions on consent and rape on the boards. Off hand these:

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/lounge/63716-implied-sexual-consent-relationships.html

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/52835-can-woman-rape-man.html

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/relationships/59590-rape-culture.html

The one on whether or not a woman can rape a man was probably the most interesting, which is probably why it turned into such a long discussion. Apparently there are quite a few cases where this happens, but it’s largely unaddressed. I think this is relevant, because the focus on the comments so far seems to be on men. But if a man has been drinking, a woman having sex with him could be guilty of statutory rape.

The one on rape culture deals with the stereotypical scenario of two people drinking and then there being confusion about consent not being what's really happening in many cases. It's really serial rapists using alcohol as a weapon and then using that stereotype as a smokescreen.

The implied consent one was more recent and some of the newbies participated.

[Trixareforkids]

There have been some interesting discussions on consent and rape on the boards. Off hand these:

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/lounge/63716-implied-sexual-consent-relationships.html

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/sex/52835-can-woman-rape-man.html

https://www.womens-health.com/boards/relationships/59590-rape-culture.html

The one on whether or not a woman can rape a man was probably the most interesting, which is probably why it turned into such a long discussion. Apparently there are quite a few cases where this happens, but it’s largely unaddressed. I think this is relevant, because the focus on the comments so far seems to be on men. But if a man has been drinking, a woman having sex with him could be guilty of statutory rape.

The one on rape culture deals with the stereotypical scenario of two people drinking and then there being confusion about consent not being what's really happening in many cases. It's really serial rapists using alcohol as a weapon and then using that stereotype as a smokescreen.

The implied consent one was more recent and some of the newbies participated.

I will check out the other threads, thanks for the links. I particularly liked the video I saw on Upworthy because of the way she did it, giving you a glimpse of "in the moment' examples and I liked that it was a girl because I agree that girls can push guys (or other girls) just as much as the other way around. You and others are have pointed out that women can be predators as well but I don't think enough people take that seriously and they should! Women are just as guilty as men in the pushing/taking advantage of an intoxicated partner and it's just as damaging when it really wasn't something the guy/partner wanted, maybe even more so because of cultural norms.