[Patti-here]

Do you know how many women are killed after they are raped,, more than you can shake a finger at.

At 5 feet tall 108 pounds how in the world could I physically restrain a man,, even if I wanted too

[Trixareforkids]

Trix, this was a great thread to start. I think it opened up a good discussion. I hope that there is more. Kudos.

As Stillness pointed out, it's not an original topic (I really need to do a search before I start a topic ) but I do think it's a good one to keep revisiting. As new members (like myself) join it's bound to come up again and again and the more discussion of it the better.

[Stillness]

At 5 feet tall 108 pounds how in the world could I physically restrain a man,, even if I wanted too

Physical restraints (handcuffs, rope, etc.), drugs, alcohol, weapons, outnumbering, social/mental leverage.

[Patti-here]

Physical restraints (handcuffs, rope, etc.), drugs, alcohol, weapons, outnumbering, social/mental leverage.

I'm sexually uninhibited, but I won't force myself on anyone...

[effy2014]

I'm sexually uninhibited, but I won't force myself on anyone...

I'd be shocked if you ever had to .....

[Motorguy]

I'm sexually uninhibited, but I won't force myself on anyone...

You don't have too Patti.

[rcoreyus]

Erections are only semi-voluntary. For some men (probably not all) the right stimulation will get him erect, and then make him ejaculate. There are several ways a woman could do this: direct threat of harm (gun / knife). Tie him up (maybe when he is sleeping). Tie him up as part of a BDSM game, then proceed to do something he didn't' agree to. etc.

Men can of course also be anally raped by other men, or women with objects.

I expect though that the most common is various forms of social coercion, and depending on the scenario that can range from simple bad behavior to rape.

All that said, from what I've read, women raping men is much less common than men raping women. In total numbers in the US though male on male rape in prisons is the most common form.

Female on female rape also occurs but is less common. A female acquaintance of mine who spent time in prison said that there it is quite common - "mostly doing it out of boredom" she told me.

I'm not so sure how a woman can rape a man either,, for that you'd have to 'force' him to get an erection, I don't know if that's possible ?

[rcoreyus]

I think rape is much more complex than a simple "no means no" issue. Some is very clear - direct threats of harm. There there are indirect threats - a man who tells a woman to get out of his car if she won't have sex with him. Pressure from managers. Threats by husbands to leave. Then there is the really difficult question of "drunk" rape. If a man gets a woman drunk and has sex while she is passe out, that is pretty clear. But there there are the grey areas where they are both drunk, or where she blacks out (doesn't remember) but wasn't unconscious at the time.

On top of that there are lots of situations where a rape occurred, but it is impossible to prove beyond a reasonable doubt.

Then there are various forms of deception - is it rape if a woman deceives a man into thinking she is on birth control when she isn't? Is that tricking him into a sex act he didn't consent to?

All complicated.

For me personally I make it simple. I don't get drunk. I don't become intimate with anyone I don't trust completely. That avoids most of the fuzzy cases.

[Stillness]

Threats by husbands to leave.

Or wives? This is a questionable thing to define as rape. The car thing I'd agree to if there was some serious concern about danger, but a spouse threatening to leave unless there's some intimacy does not qualify as rape.